


Becoming The First Choice

by KingWinston



Series: Winston/Monty [2]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, monty is out, winston is clingy, winston is jealous, wonty - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 78,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25310398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingWinston/pseuds/KingWinston
Summary: Sequel to Someone Will Remember Us
Relationships: Montgomery de la Cruz/Winston Williams
Series: Winston/Monty [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833115
Comments: 251
Kudos: 370





	1. New Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is written in Monty's POV.

**Chapter One**

He thinks I don't know he's been awake for a few hours now.

I woke up maybe an hour ago, the bed was empty. I heard him shuffling around in the kitchen. He just doesn't know how to sleep in.

But he's in bed with me now. He's not touching me but I can feel him looking at me. I can feel the warmth radiating from his body.

"It's really creepy when you stare at me," I tell him without bothering to open my eyes. He laughs softly in response but I still refuse to look.

We must have left the party shortly after midnight. We made up some excuse about being tired and Benji didn't buy it one bit but he let us go. We had the house to ourselves.

"Would you like me to stop?" Winn asks and then shortly after I feel warm fingertips tracing my lips and moving over them in circles. Now would be a good time to open my eyes.

He's hovering over me, staring down at my lips and smiling. Even after last night, he still wants more.

I grab his wrist and I pull his hand away from my face. Trust me, I don't want to but someone needs to teach this boy some self-restraint.

He pouts at me and I roll my eyes. He thinks I'm kidding.

Winn tries to lean down and kiss me but I turn my head to the side.

"Monty," he whines in annoyance and he waits for me to give up and let him kiss me.

"I gotta shower," I say like that's the only thing that's on my mind. I sit up and Winn stares at me still expecting a good morning kiss or something.

Like I said, no self-restraint.

I get off the bed and he clings onto my arm like a child. "Let me come with you?" he asks with a smile on his face and as much as it pains me to, I shake my head.

I leave the door to the bathroom unlocked, hopefully, he's smart enough to try.

I manage to scrub myself down from any filth (both mine and Winn's) from last night and I feel much cleaner, that's when the knock on the door comes.

"How much longer are you gonna be in there?" he shouts from the other side of the door and I rub some water out of my eyes. "I miss you."

My heart starts pounding at the very words. I know he probably doesn't mean it, he just wants me to come out so we can fuck again but he still said it.

"The door's open you idiot," I say and then the door to the bathroom starts to open. He stands there in the middle of the steamy bathroom, hands in his pockets, hair falling over his eyes and he stares at me.

"Did you want something?" I ask him as I reach down and start moving my hand up and down my cock. His eyes follow my hand and he starts to blush. Or maybe it's from the heat. I already feel hot and sweaty all over.

Neither of us says anything as he starts to unzip his jeans. I place one hand on the shower wall to steady myself as my other hand works on my cock. I'm already hard for him and he knows it.

I feel his hands on my back and I'm not sure if they're sweaty or if my back's just wet.

He presses his body against my back and I suddenly feel something hard poking my upper thigh from behind. My body starts to tense up just thinking about what it's like to be in Winn's position, what it's like to be fucked.

His hands move lower down until they're wrapped around my hips and he reaches around and moves my hand away from my cock.

"Let me please," he whispers into my shoulder and how can I say no when he asks so politely.

He strokes my cock with his hand and the water from the shower helps to lubricate it. He squeezes or twists his hand sometimes and the way he tightens his grip... I swear I could come right there and then.

He's not going to let me come from just his hand. He wouldn't be going so slow if that's what he was planning to do.

The water from the showerhead hits me in the chest and sprays him a little in the face and I can hear his heavy breathing as he slowly jerks me off.

"Turn around," he then orders breathlessly once his hand leaves my cock and I obey. I'm usually the one that's in control, this is nice for a change.

He sinks down to his knees and he stares up at me. I place my hands on his shoulders but I don't dig my fingernails in like he always does to me. He then moves his face closer to my cock and he brushes his nose against the head. My breath hitches in my throat as he wraps his lips around my cock and he swallows me down all at once. I'm surprised that he's not teasing me, he just gets right into it like I like it.

He starts moving his head as I feel his tongue travel up and down my length. It feels so good to see him on his knees for me like this. I feel the hot inside of his mouth and I groan when I suddenly hit the back of his throat.

He doesn't gag but I see his eyes starting to water and he exhales through his nose. I'm trying really hard to concentrate on standing upright but my head feels cloudy as all the blood around my body rushes to my dick.

Winston then pulls away just as I feel my stomach twist and he looks up at me with spit dribbling down his chin. "Fuck my mouth."

His lips are swollen and shiny with spit and he doesn't have to tell me twice with the way he's looking at me.

I tug at his hair as I start thrusting my hips forward into his mouth. He lets me even though I can see his eyes starting to turn red. I go even harder and even faster util my cock repeatedly hits the back of his throat.

I know that he can feel my cock twitch in his mouth and he knows that I'm close. The water from the shower rolls down my back and I try my best to stay standing even though it's slippy and I feel week at the knees.

"Fuck. I..." I groan and I don't get to finish my sentence because my hips buckle and I shoot my come into Winn's mouth. 

I keep my grip on his hair firm as I let him keep swallowing like the good boy he is. My vision is blurry and it takes them a few seconds to adjust until Winn's face comes into focus.

He stands up shakily and then he rests his hands on my hips like he's the one that needs help to stand properly. His hard cock brushes past my thigh and he rests his forehead on my shoulder. He mumbles something but I can't understand him and I just pull him into my chest as the water continues running around our feet.

***

I break the news shortly after breakfast.

"I know we said no gifts but..."

He doesn't look happy. Not happy at all.

He puts our dirty plates in the sink and he turns to face me. "Fuck, Monty. We agreed. And now I look dumb-"

"Ssh," I say before he can start ranting. He's not happy that I'm shushing him either but he presses his lips together and crosses his arms over his chest as he stands by the sink.

"It's a gift for both of us," I explain and my mouth feels dry. I'm not really sure if I should be doing this. Whenever I think I'm ready to, something gets in the way.

Winn sees my face and his own face starts to soften. He nods slowly. "Okay."

I look away because it's getting a bit much for me and he starts to make his way towards me and the dining room chair I'm sitting on.

"Monty..." He says softly and he straddles me on the chair. Yeah, because that's not distracting at all.

"I'll tell you everything when we get there," I simply tell him. Stalling.

I rub his back in a slow circular motion and he wraps his arms around my neck. I know that he's fucking sore from last night but he tries his best not to show it. He would have let me keep going if I hadn't told him that I think it's enough. I'd love nothing more than to have a whole day dedicated to just fucking him but I also don't feel like hurting him. Ever again.

***

It's freezing outside and Winn rubs his arms up and down in order to warm himself up. We only just got out of the car and he's already cold?

"Come here," I say to him and I lift my arm slightly. He grins and then he moves closer to me. I throw my arm over his shoulders and I pull him into my chest in an attempt to warm him up.

We continue walking in comfortable silence. Of course, Winston recognises the place. He's waited here for hours before when I stood him up that one night. And now we're here together.

I stare at the graffiti on the walls and the black bin bags of trash that people like to leave inside the tunnel.

The hobo hotel. A place where I spent most of my junior year. I had to leave once Scott found out about it and started asking questions. But it was always kind of a safe place.

Winston stares at me with wide eyes and I can tell he's got about a million questions on his mind but instead of asking them, he waits for me to speak.

"This is where I used to come whenever my dad and I had a fight," I tell him as I stare into the dark tunnel. I remember sitting there, back pressed against the cold wall and I sat there and wondered what I did to deserve a life like this.

"Monty..."

"I'd sit here for days at a time, I'd skip school 'cos I was ashamed that people would... that they would somehow know that I was temporarily homeless," I say and my heart hammers against my chest. Winn stays silent. "One time I stole some food from this one shop. I lived off of it for a few days and then I came home like nothing ever happened. I just pretended everything was okay until I felt like it was. My dad didn't care where I went and where I was, he wasn't even glad to see me back at home."

Winn's shoulders stiffen under my arm and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face. "Thank you for telling me," he says quietly and I smile to myself before turning my body so that I'm stood in front of him.

I put my hands on his hips and I hold him close to me. He waits again as I stare at his face and I study him. No pity.

"My gift to _us_ ," I say quietly putting the emphasis on the 'us' part as Winn tilts his head upwards to get a better view of me. "Is to replace all the bad memories I had here. To share them with you."

He sighs softly and he stares at me. "That's..."

Messed up? I brought him to where I used to camp out when my dad beat my ass and I called it a gift to us. We've been dating for less than twenty-four hours and he probably regrets ever meeting me.

"Really thoughtful," Winn finishes and I feel his warm hand reaching for my hand and interlacing our finger together. "Thank you for bringing me here."

I just nod in silence and I hold onto Winn's hand like he's the only thing worth having. We stare into the dark tunnel in silence and then Winston rests his head on my shoulder. His hair tickles my chin and my nose and I let go of his hand. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him closer to me if that's even possible.

"I love you," I whisper into his hair before placing a small kiss on the top of his head. He takes it in first and I watch as his smile grows wider and wider.

Even though I know he feels the same, I still get nervous when I say it for some reason. 

"How's this for a good memory?" Winn asks. He pulls away from me and then he puts his hands at either side of my face. He leans in slowly, his nose brushing past mine and then when our lips are almost touching...

"I love you," he mouths quietly and I sigh with relief.

***

Honestly, I think I'm going to miss Benji more than Winston will.

"I can't believe I'm leaving already," Benji says as I get his suitcase out of my car. Winn promised him that we'd give a ride to the airport and now here we are. "I'm gonna miss you guys."

Winn rolls his eyes at me and I can't help but grin. I shut the car door after placing the suitcase next to Benji and then I sigh. We're supposed to say goodbye now. But none of us move.

Then Benji sighs and holds his arms out towards Winn. "Come 'ere then."

I stand by my car as I watch Benji wrap his arms around Winn and rub his back up and down while they hug. Winn buries his face into Benji's shoulder and then when they pull apart, I see that his eyes are watery. He tries to hide it, he laughs and pushes his hair away from his face.

"Your turn," Benji tells me and before I know it, He's squeezing me so tightly that I can barely breathe. I hug him back and he presses me into his chest like I'm some child.

"You better not fuck up while I'm gone," Benji whispers into my ear so that only I can hear. I glance over his shoulder at Winn who isn't even looking our way. 

"I won't," I tell him as I focus on Winston smiling to himself. I could never imagine hurting him ever again. I couldn't.

Benji finally lets go of me and we pull apart. "By the way," he tells me while he still has my attention and Winn isn't within hearing distance. "When you're doing seating arrangements for the wedding... put me next to some pretty blonde."

I glare at him even though I can't help but think about it. A wedding? Really? Would we really last that long?

"You're not funny," I tell Benji as Winn starts to walk over to us again.

"Wasn't a joke," he says with a shrug and Winn stares at him wondering what we were talking about.

We stand around awkwardly still not prepared for Benji to leave and then he sighs and throws his arm over Winn's shoulders.

"I should get going now," he says and he grabs his suitcase with his free hand. Then he turns to Winn. "Call me if he starts pissing you off again. I'll come back to knock some sense into him."

Win rolls his eyes at Benji and chuckles lightly. "I think we're gonna be fine now," he says and he locks eyes with me for a couple of seconds.

Everything's going to be better this time.

***

School starts on Monday. Now with the football season (that we didn't win) being over, I'll have more time to myself before the baseball season starts. Scott will be playing too this time. Not sure about Charlie, he's pretty useless with a bat.

I'm laying down on Scott's bed while he sits at his desk and types away at his laptop. "Fuck, I suck at chemistry," Scott says and he glances back at me. "Have you done the chemistry homework?"

I look up at him and I shrug. We had chemistry homework? Scott stares at me. 

"Have you done _any_ of your homework?" he asks and I don't answer. "Why the fuck not?"

I didn't exactly have time to focus on homework and he knows that. Not only did I devote most of my time to winning Winston back, but I also had to deal with all the shit with my parents. 

"I'll do it tomorrow," I groan and I cover my face with my hands. 

"Tomorrow's Sunday," Scott tells me. I kinda lost track of time now that I have Winn all to myself. I take my hands away from my face now that Scott has gone silent and I see him typing on his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Texting Winston," Scott tells me without taking his eyes off the screen. "He's distracted you enough."

"Noo," I groan. I was supposed to go see him tomorrow and now he'll definitely cancel on me. Fuck, he's gonna be mad that I ditched my school work for him again. Even though he does the exact same thing for me.

Scott puts his phone down and then he sighs. "Come on, get to work then. You won't be able to cram it all in tomorrow."

He moves his stuff to one side of the desk and he stares at me. Doing my homework with Scott? Wow, that's exactly how I wanted to spend my Saturday night.

"I'll help you out," Scott says trying to convince me and I eventually give up and walk over to the desk. 

I pick my school bag up and I start taking out the piles of homework I hid in there. Scott watches me and he shakes his head.

"I'll be surprised if they let you graduate," he tells me and I laugh because I think it's a joke. 

I really need to start focusing on work now.


	2. Empty Promises

**Chapter Two**

Being back at school seems normal but strange at the same time. I go to lessons, I talk with Scott and Charlie and I eat lunch with them. But there are some changes.

Winn sometimes waits for me after class and it's really weird getting used to holding his hand in public. I thought I'd be okay with it by now but I still look around to see if we're ever getting weird looks thrown our way.

Being in a relationship is more complicated than I thought. I can't always do the things I want to do. For example, now, I'm missing lunch with Scott and Charlie because Winn needs my help in the darkroom. I'm starving but he doesn't have to know that.

I don't understand why he wants me here. He just hums to himself as he sinks the photographs into the liquid and I occasionally have to pass something to him.

"Did you manage to get an extension on that English essay?" Winn asks me as he clips one of the photographs up on the string.

Scott helped me to do most of my homework but I needed more time on the English essay. Fortunately, Lawrence was willing to make an exception for her favourite student.

I nod and I stretch trying me best to avoid touching anything because this is all completely new to me. "I have to email it to her by the end of Friday."

This week had been busy and it's just going to get busier. I have to move out of Scott's and move in with my mother and Estella before Monday. Winn has already promised to help.

It feels really weird. Having someone do practically everything with you. It makes you wonder what happens if they leave. I don't want to get too attached just in case anything happens.

Fuck, why am I even thinking about this? Nothing is going to happen. We're going to be fine.

I stare at Winn and he's absentmindedly staring at the photograph floating on top of the liquid. I can't imagine a single thing that could get in between us.

"What about you?" I ask Winn and he looks up from his work. "Have you finally done that maths homework?"

He makes a face and I sigh. I worry about him graduating sometimes. The only subject he seems to care about is photography and art, he doesn't give a shit about anything else. I want to remind him that you can't really get far with a degree in photography but then I remember that he could probably become a politician because of his family and background.

"I'll do I tonight," Winn says meekly as I frown at him. He's not going to do it tonight, both of us know that.

"Winn..."

He sighs and looks down at his feet. "It's easy for you. You may be lazy but you're not stupid. I am." he says and he shrugs his shoulders. "Photography is the only thing I'm good at. So I don't see the point in worrying about maths when I could put all my energy into the one thing I'm good at."

"You're not stupid," I tell him sternly leaving no room for arguments. Photography is the only thing he's good at because it's the only thing he's ever really focused on. "I just want you to graduate."

Winn smiles at me. "And I will. Let _me_ worry about that."

But we both know that that's not an option. I worry about him and he worries about me, that's just the way things are now.

***

To be honest, I think Winn is just along for the fun of it. Another excuse for not doing his maths homework maybe.

Anything that belongs to me was at Scott's house so we were able to pack it up easily.

Winn said he was going to help me move in to my new room, but so far, all he's done is complained about me taking too long to pack and then he left Scott and me outside to go talk to Estella.

Scott doesn't mind helping me. We carry two boxes at a time, one each, and we carry them up the elevator and up to our new apartment. It's not exactly new or fancy or expensive, but it's also not shabby and it feels like home.

Mom isn't home yet, she's working two jobs now to make sure we can keep living like this, away from our father. We expect to be done by the time she's back.

There are five boxes, we make two trips down to the car and then there's only one box left. Scott takes it and I lock my car. There's a small kind of run-down parking lot next to the building, it's not like having my own parking spot in front of the house but it's a small price to pay to get away from my dad. 

Scott sighs once we're in the elevator and then we grin at each other in the comfortable silence.

"You know," Scott says. "It was nice having you as my brother. Even if it only lasted a few weeks,"

And there it is. We've both been dying to say something like this all day. Scott and I, we've always acted like brothers but after living with him, it feels like we've grown even closer.

"You too," I say just as the elevator door opens. "Even if you did spend most of your time trying to get me out of bed."

Scott chuckles lightly as we step out of the elevator and we start walking down the corridor. "Yeah... At least I'll have the bed to myself now." Scott says as we stop by the apartment door. He's the one holding the box so I open the door for us.

Winn and Estella are sitting on the floor in the living room when we walk inside. Scott heads straight for my room and I stand in the hallway to stare at Winn and my sister talking about something.

"Is this your idea of helping?" I ask and I raise an eyebrow. " 'I'll help you move in'," I say imitating him from before.

Winn looks offended and Estella laughs. "He was helping me with something," Estella tells me and Winston looks at me like he thinks he deserves an apology. I'm just thinking about what Estella needed his help with.

***

"No, the bed is supposed to be in the _middle_ of the room," Winn tells me. He finally decided to help.

Scott is with Estella in her room and Winn is in mine helping me put all my shit in place. My desk and my chest of drawers from back home are here but I have a new bed. It's not exactly _new_ but it's better than the broken one I had at home. It's also a bit bigger.

"But I like it like this," I say as I push the bed up against the wall. Just the way it was in my old room.

Winn is sat on the floor by my closet. It's built-in into the wall and all you have to do is slide the door to the side and then there's the space for my clothes. He's folding all my clothes and organising them in the closet because he knows I won't do it myself. I'd be happy just dumping the box of clothes into the closet.

Winn rolls his eyes and then he stands up from the floor and walks over to me. I turn back towards the bed to have a good look at it, would it really look better in the middle of the room?

Winn wraps his arms around my middle from behind and he kisses my shoulder. "Move the bed."

In his room, the bed is in the middle but I prefer to sleep by the wall. Winn presses his lips against my shoulder and he waits.

"But then I'll have less room," I tell him and I gesture to the side of the bed that's completely empty. I don't have enough furniture to fill up the whole room.

Winston sighs. "What do you need the extra room for? It's not like you do anything other than lay in bed and annoy me."

I laugh to myself and I turn my head to the side to look at him. He tries his best to look mad but I see the smile that's creeping up to his face. 

"Move the bed," he tells me again and I roll me eyes. He's not going to give in until I do it.

"How are you liking your new room?"

Winn moves away from me like he's been burnt at the sound of my mom's voice. She's leaning against the door frame and smiling at us. I suddenly realise that she's never met Winn before. And so does he.

"Miss de la Cruz," he says and he rushes over to shake my mom's hand. She doesn't like being called that but Winn doesn't know and she doesn't tell him. "It's so nice to meet you. I'm Winston."

My mom shakes his hand and then she smiles. "Nice to meet you too," she says when Winn finally lets go of her hand. She didn't defend me in front of my father when he kicked me out and now she's being all supportive? At least she's letting me live with her I guess.

Then she looks over his shoulder at me. "I brought dinner. So when you're done..."

"Right," I say and I feel my stomach twist. Dinner with my mom, my sister, my best friend and my boyfriend at the same time? This is new. I can already think of all the ways it can go wrong.

***

Mom doesn't force us to sit in the living room and eat our dinner. We don't have a dining room but our living room is big enough to fit a dining table. Mom brought pizza for dinner, it's quite cheap and enough to feed all of us. So we sit on the floor in Estella's room, eating pizza from mismatched plates.

Estella is having way too much fun. She brought out her makeup bag or some shit and she tried to convince us to do facemasks with her. Only Winn agreed.

"It's good for you," Estella tries to convince Scott as she comes near him with a silicon brush. Scott shakes his head and moves away but I can see that he's not far from breaking.

"I don't want that on my face," Scott says and Estella rolls her eyes.

"Don't be a child," she tells him. Winston is still looking through Estella's bag and then he grins.

"You too, Monty," he says. He puts the bag on Estella's bed and then he moves closer to me.

"No no no," I say quickly and I move further away from him until my back is touching the wall. I look at Scott for support but Estella's already putting some grey stuff on his face. I'm alone on this one.

Winn has some pink cream spread across his forehead nose and chin, Estella did it for him. He looks quite good in pink.

"Even Scott's doing it," Winn tells me and he crawls over to me. I have nowhere to run to.

"It's actually not that bad," Scott tells me as Estella covers his forehead in that green gunk.

I'm outnumbered.

I sigh. "This is so fucking gay."

Winn raises an eyebrow. "And you _are_ fucking gay," he reminds me. Yeah, but not gay enough for face masks.

If we were alone in the room, Winn would have gotten his way a long time ago. But with Scott and Estella in the room, there's a limit to what he can do to change my mind.

"Please?" Winn asks and he sits down cross-legged next to me. His knee touches my knee and I sigh when he cocks his head to the side and stares at me. The things I do for this boy...

"Fine," I say finally and he grins from ear to ear. "Just this once."

I hear Scott chuckle as Estella wipes some product off his eyebrow. He can't really say much, he gave in before me.

Winn dips his fingers into the container and then he smears some of the creamy stuff onto my forehead. I grimace at how cold it is and Winn starts spreading it around with his two fingers.

His face is focused on my face like he doesn't want to mess up. He could never mess up. Not in my eyes.

***

"So... you spent a whole day with me," I say. We're laying down on my bed (it's in the middle of the room) and looking up at the ceiling. My skin feels softer now after we just washed our faces in the bathroom. I can hear the water running again because it's Scott's and Estella's turn now. 

"Getting bored yet?" I ask Winn and I turn my head to the side to look at him. He grins and shakes his head.

"And you? Have you had enough of me yet?" he asks and I raise an eyebrow. I've spent the whole day with him and yet it still doesn't feel like enough. I don't want him to go. 

I shake my head and sigh. I'd love it if he could stay, but that's never going to happen.

We sit in silence for a moment and then I remember something.

"Have you done your maths homework yet?" I ask him and he groans and throws his head back. I know we've already talked about this, but he just doesn't seem to understand that I worry about him. I'll do the homework myself if that's what he needs. "Winn..."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" he asks and he looks up at me with hopeful eyes. I don't know if he's just this lazy or if he thinks he just doesn't have to worry about it. His family could probably get him into Yale or Princeton or wherever with just one phone call.

"I promise to do it when I get home?" Winston says and he starts tracing my jawline with his fingers.

"Your promises don't mean shit," I tell him. He's just really not good at keeping promises.

Winn sighs and he moves to straddle me on the bed. So this is his plan? Distract me until I forget about his homework?

He leans down, his fingers still tracing my jaw and then he kisses me on the lips. He feels warm and familiar. Safe. He buries his nose into the crook of my neck and I feel his breath against my skin. And I want to stay like that. I want us to stay like this forever. 


	3. One Look

**Chapter Three**

And disaster struck.

"He's not worth it," Scott says and he pats Charlie on the back. Charlie's generally a happy person, so seeing him like this is kind of new to me. It's not like he's sobbing uncontrollably or doing anything in particular, he just looks exhausted and sad.

"I always thought he was ugly, to be honest," I say with my mouth full. Yes, it's lunch and we're trying to give Charlie advice but I'm also hungry.

Winn nudges me with his skinny elbow and he gives Charlie a sympathetic smile. Winn knows Alex and he knows more about gay relationships than all of us combined, I'm glad he decided to sit with us. With me.

So Alex broke up with Charlie. Or Charlie broke up with Alex. I don't know anymore. Were they even dating at all? Maybe I should have paid attention to Charlie instead of staring at Winn's side profile.

"I just..." Charlie says and he sighs. "I put so much effort into us and he just... He doesn't appreciate any of it. I do all the work and then he gets mad at me for no reason. He tells me I'm trying too hard."

Ah. So that's the issue. Kind of reminds me of someone.

Scott and I look at each other and then we both focus on Winn. He knows that he's needed very badly right now.

"Maybe try to leave it alone for a few days, see if Alex starts putting in some effort himself," Winn says. "If he doesn't, then I don't think he's worth it."

I can't help but wonder if that's what Winn did with me. I try to see if I can come up with some examples. The only one I can think of is when I took him to the carnival and no one wants to be reminded of that.

"I've tried that," Charlie says sadly. "He didn't even seem to notice that I didn't text him for three days straight. He just went back to talking to me like nothing was wrong."

I don't understand what the big deal is. Charlie should just move on from Alex and find someone who actually gives a shit about him. Scott looks like he thinks so too. We're not fans of Alex. But Charlie gave us both relationship advice, we may as well pretend to be interested.

Winn basically spends the entirety of his lunch break trying to give Charlie advice but all Charlie wants to hear is that he should give Alex another chance. He shouldn't.

"I didn't do this for free," Winn tells me when we stand up from our table. I raise an eyebrow. So now he wants to get paid for his advice? 

I roll my eyes at him. 

"What do you want in return?" I ask and I try to keep my face as neutral as possible. Winn raises his eyebrows like I should know better.

"Surprise me," he says in a hushed tone and I feel my heart rate pick up. 

Sure. I can do that.

***

"Please explain what you think is so funny?"

I try to glare at him but he won't even notice, he's too busy laughing at me.

Here I am, on my knees in front of him and all he does is laugh.

I've never blown a guy before so obviously I have no idea what I'm doing. I thought it would be easy, you know? I just shove his dick in my mouth and I start sucking until he comes. But it's really not easy at all.

I've asked Charlie for tips but the guy's a fucking virgin, he has no idea what he's doing either.

"You're doing great," Winn tells me in between laughs. Yeah sure. 'Great', I almost choked after just putting the tip in my mouth. And he's not even that big. "You just need practice."

It pisses me off how good he is at this because I'm not.

His hands are resting on my shoulders and I try to swallow him down again. But my jaw can't move far enough and I manage to take about half of him in before I feel like choking again.

"Breathe through your nose," Winn says and he's not as giggly anymore so maybe I am doing something right after all.

I curl my hand around the other half if his cock that my lips can't cover, I'm not even going to try to. I try to start moving my head but I can't really focus, I need to focus on breathing too and making sure not to use teeth. Why is this so complicated?

I'd let him just move my head himself but I'm scared that he'll push too hard and I'll start gagging. My mouth feels full as I move my head backwards and forwards and I look up at Winn to see if anything I'm doing is getting a reaction out of him.

He's looking down at me and his lips are slightly parted. "You're so fucking hot," he breaths out as I pick up on the pace. I feel my face heating up and I look away from him.

Doing this, knowing what he tastes likes, being able to be in control of him, it's not so bad. 

His hands move up to the top of my head and he tangles his fingers up in my hair. I let him tug on my hair and control the movements for a little while and my eyes start stinging as he pushes my head even further. But he sees that I don't like it and he stops. 

"Sorry," he mumbles. 

I need to take a break so I pull away and I take a few deep breaths. My jaw fucking hurts. I look up at Winn and then I swallow him down again. This time it seems like I've taken more in or maybe I just like to think I did.

At this point, I just want to make him come. I don't care how, I just wanna make him come. I wanna know what he tastes like.

I move my head faster, still focusing on my breathing and not using teeth. I hear his muffled groans and moans and I've never felt this relieved. Good to know I'm not completely useless at this.

I feel his cock twitch in my mouth and I know he's close. He starts tugging at my hair, pulling in all directions and I don't mind the pain. 

" _Monty_. I'm..." he says breathlessly and that's when the come shoots out of him and into my mouth. I don't know what I expected it to feel like but it's... strange.

He tastes bitter and I swallow it all trying my best not to choke or gag or embarrass myself. 

I think I have a new appreciation for blow jobs.

***

Coming home at the same time as Estella is kind of tiring. She's always the first one to run to the bathroom and then she spends hours in there doing god knows what and by the time I get the bathroom to myself it's already dark outside.

It's still better than coming home late and exhausted every day. That's one thing I won't miss about football.

We only see mom for maybe three hours a day. When we wake up, breakfast is on the table but she's already at work. She's doing an early morning shift cleaning rich people's houses. Then, while we're at school, she comes home to get ready for her job at the dentist's office.

She's not home when we come from school. We usually have about two hours to ourselves and then she eventually comes back and she has, like I said, three hours with us before going to bed. She's really trying her best to make this work.

Homework. Again. Even though I hate doing it, it feels good when I see that my grades are starting to improve. I'm almost certain that I'll manage to graduate. I'm trying my best to.

I also have to keep an eye on Winn. He eventually did his maths homework after I stopped replying to his texts and calls and told him I'll speak to him once he sends me proof that he finished all his homework. I don't think I've ever realised how bad his grades were until now. I'm trying my best to help him out though.

Estella knocks on my door and then two seconds later she's standing in my room.

"What?" I ask and I put my pen down on the desk.

"I'm going over to Scott's," she tells me and she tries to head back out but I stop her. We've never had this much freedom before. Well, she hasn't. Dad always kept a close eye on her and who she was hanging out with.

"Wait wait wait," I say. She stops in her tracks and groans as she turns around. "When are you going to be back?"

I think it's my job to keep an eye on her now. But not like dad did, I just want to make sure she's safe. And of course, I trust Scott with her, but no one can promise that she'll get home safe.

"Two hours?" she says like she wants my approval. She doesn't need it, she'll go anyway.

"Alright," I say and I glance at the time on my phone.

4:37 pm

I'll know to start worrying in two hours if she isn't home by then.

***

I'm not going to be sat around waiting for mom to come back by myself. If Estella goes out to see her boyfriend then I wanna see mine too. 

"Gracias para todo," Winston mutters to himself. He's sat cross-legged on my bed while doing his Spanish homework. I'm supervising. And rightfully so.

"Jesus, that's not even-" I try to correct him but he shushes me.

"I know," he tells me. "Just testing you."

Sure he is. I'm laying next to him but he's sat up so I can't tell what he's writing. That way it's easier to focus on my own homework.

After a few minutes, he shoves his homework to the side and puts his head in his hands.

"What's wrong?" I ask him. I can't be getting annoyed with him, I know he's doing his best to do this. I'm surprised that he's even doing work at all.

"Google Translate is so rubbish," he mumbles into his hands and I sigh.

"Why are you using Google Translate when I'm sat right next to you?" I ask and he doesn't answer. This was the whole point of this, for me to help him. "Winn..."

I sit up, he sighs and finally peels his hands away from his face. "I don't want you to think I'm stupid."

I don't understand why he keeps on being so insecure about his grades. Especially in front of me. I'd never judge someone based on their grades. Unless they're a goody-two-shoes like that Ani girl.

"I don't think you're stupid," I tell him and I wrap my arms around him from behind. He sighs and leans back into me. "So you're not good at Spanish, it doesn't mean you're stupid."

Winn scoffs. "I'm also 'not good' at biology. And maths. And English and chemistry and-"

"Stop it," I cut him off. He sighs, closes his eyes and then tilts his head back to rest it on my shoulder. 

I'm not really sure what to do. I haven't done this before and I know that I'll just say the wrong thing one way or another.

I brush some hair away from his eyes and he smiles softly. I think he just needs reassurance.

"You're not stupid," I whisper and his smile turns into a frown like he doesn't agree with me. "Hey! Listen to me, you're _not_ stupid."

He opens his eyes and then sighs when his eyes meet mine. "And you're not saying that just because you love me?"

He's really just taking advantage of me now. I'm not sure if he's just teasing me or not but then he starts to grin. He knows I love him and he wants to hear it every opportunity he can get.

"So are you gonna say it or what?" Winn asks. I don't think I've ever met anyone as clingy as him. But I knew what I was signing up for when I asked him to be my boyfriend.

"I do love you," I tell him and he sighs softly.

I do. I swear I do.

I've never loved anyone as much as I love him.

And that's what scares me.

***

I'm supposed to be waiting for Winn after school. Scott said he'll walk Estella home and Charlie is staying back to talk to Alex so I'll be driving home alone today.

I could have left long ago but it just doesn't feel right without seeing Winn first, you know?

His last lesson on Thursdays is art so I feel like I'll be waiting a long time for him to show up. He says he'll stay back for a few minutes and before I know it, I've been waiting for him for an hour. I hope he hurries up.

"Monty? Right?"

I hear the voice coming from behind me I turn my head. It's not Winn. I'm standing by my car and I stare at the kid who is looking at me with a stupid grin on his face.

"Huh?"

"Monty?" he says uncertainly and he takes a step towards me. "We met at that party last year?"

Party? I've been to a lot of parties. Especially when I was on my Winston detox and I meeting about twenty new people at every party. Of course, I don't really remember it, I was too drunk to remember.

I stare at him and he starts shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. He looks kind of familiar, he's short, has similar hair and eyes to Winn but he's much smaller and I still don't know who he is. 

The guy starts chewing on his bottom lip nervously and he looks around the parking lot. People are still hanging out around the building but none of them are anywhere near us.

"The night you qualified for playoffs...?" he says uncertainly. "We, erm..."

Oh. _Oh._

"Right," I say quickly before he can say anymore.

Fuck fuck fuck. I remember now. 

It was after I saw Winn with Lucas. I thought he was over me... 

I remember coming back inside from the balcony and this guy coming out from the bathroom. I never really thought about him since.

"You go to school here?" I ask and I tap my foot impatiently. Winn better take his time in that photography class. I'll just take care of this kid and Winn doesn't have to know.

I wasn't with Winn when I let this guy blow me but it still makes me feel kind of guilty. It was a mistake and I was just... I needed something to take my mind off of him. 

"I do now," the guy tells me with a shrug. No, you fucking don't. Go to a different school you motherfucker. You don't get to come in here and ruin shit just when everything is finally getting good.

I don't even get to ask him why he suddenly decided to switch school because my boyfriend comes back from his photography class. I don't notice him approaching us because I'm too busy glaring at the kid, hoping he'll disappear before my eyes.

"Hey," Winn says. He stops by my side and then his eyes focus on the guy standing in front of me. The guy that looks a tiny bit like him.

He maintains eye contact with the kid as his hand finds mine and he interlaces our fingers together. This can't be good.

"So who's this?" Winn asks me and he's smiling but he's not really smiling. I could almost find him being jealous cute if I didn't feel so damn guilty right now.

"Just a friend of Monty's," the guy says quickly and he gives me a small smile. No, he's not a fucking friend. I don't want to lie to Winn but...

I squeeze Winn's hand and then I feel him stiff body start to relax. He's got nothing to be jealous of.

"Elio Perlman," the guy says and he holds his hand out to Winston. Does he not get it? No one wants him here.

Winston raises an eyebrow obviously being of the same mind as me and then he lets go of my hand to shake Elio's.

"Winston," he says and then he hesitates. "Monty's boyfriend."

And I think I've gotten away with it, you know? I mean, the kid looks a bit surprised that I have a boyfriend and his face falls but I don't care about him and his feelings.

And I really _do_ think I managed to get away with it but then Winn pulls his hand away and he glances at me. And he gives me this look. This looks of, I don't know, maybe a little bit of disappointment and anger at the same time. 

He knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes it's elio from cmbyn :)  
> thank you so much for all your questions on instagram yesterday, im so happy to see that so many people are invested in the story and i hope you can stick around until the end


	4. Parents

**Chapter Four**

Winn decides not to say anything about it. 

After Elio left, he just gave me a kiss on the cheek and said that he should be going home. So he got into his car and left.

"I don't know... I feel like I should apologise. What do you think?"

"I leave for five minutes..." Benji sighs on the other side of the phone. "Why are you talking to me when you should be talking to Winston?"

That's a good question. But I just think Winn is mad at me right now, he didn't look like he wanted to talk to me. Benji, on the other hand, said he'd always have time to help me out. He's the only one I trust enough to give me useful advice.

"Should I apologise?" I ask and I stare at the bare ceiling in my room. Winn was right, having the bed in the middle is kind of nicer than having it against the wall.

"What do you think mate?" Benji asks sarcastically and I bite my lip. "You know Winston can get jealous, just make sure he knows this Elio kid means nothing to you. Tell him he was just a quick fuck that meant nothing."

"We didn't even fuck," I correct Benji. I let the guy blow me, I came, he swallowed and then I left. I thought about Winn through it all, that should count for something, right?

"Well there you go then," Benji says like that makes it better. "Just make sure Winston knows that. And fast. Before he gets the chance to overthink all of this."

I think he already has. I groan and I run a hand down my face. Should I have stopped and explained everything to him in the parking lot?

"You know," I tell Benji and I hear him hum quietly. "Winn tried to fuck Lucas when we... broke up I guess."

I haven't forgotten about it but I have gotten over it. Winn did the exact same thing that I did, he can't be mad at me for this. But he just doesn't know that I know.

And it seems that Benji didn't know either. "He did?" he asks me. "God, I hate that cheating bastard. No wonder Winston didn't tell me."

I don't respond and then Benji sighs. "Can you please just go talk to him? Preferably before I get a call from him too."

***

So that's what I do. 

Estella knows where I am and she promised to tell mom when she comes home. This whole 'having caring parents' thing is kind of exhausting.

Winn doesn't seem surprised when he sees my standing in the doorway.

"Hey," I say and he even manages to smile. He holds the door open for me and I walk inside. I don't have to ask if his parents are home, they almost never are.

"So..." Winn says as we stand facing each other in the hallway. I feel uneasy not knowing how to start. I just wish I knew what he was thinking.

"Elio and I... We just hooked up once. A long time ago," I say getting right into it and Winn nods slowly like he expected this. "Are you... Are you mad at me?"

I would rather just have this conversation without mentioning Lucas. No one needs to be reminded of that, but if I _do_ have to defend myself... I won't hesitate to bring it up.

"I'm not mad," Winn says and he takes a few steps towards me so that I can pull him closer to me if I want to. I'm not sure if doing that would be smart right now. But then he makes the first move and he wraps his arms around my middle and places his head on my chest. He's not mad... But something isn't right.

So I wrap my arms around his chest and I pull him closer to me. His body relaxes under my touch and he moves his head so that his hair tickles my chin. 

"So what's wrong?" I ask him before placing a kiss on top of his head. "Hmm?"

"Nothing," he mumbles into my chest and I roll my eyes.

"Come on Winn, I'm not stupid," I say and I start to move my hands up and down his back. We're still stood in the hallway just hugging and it doesn't look like he's planning to let go any time soon. 

"But I don't want you to get mad," he says quietly and then he sighs. What could he possibly say that would make me mad? I can't imagine being mad at him.

"I won't be mad," I whisper into his hair. Mad means different things for both of us. When Winston is mad he gets really quiet and closed off, only sometimes does he raise his voice. We both know what I'm like when I get mad.

Winn hesitates and just when I think he's going to pull away, he buries his face into my neck and he presses his body even closer to mine. "I just hate being so fucking jealous all the time," he tells me and I move my hands in small circular motions on his back. "It's not about you, I trust you but..."

But. 

"Is this about Lucas?" I ask him and I can't help but sound annoyed. I didn't want to bring him up unless it was necessary and here I am directing the conversation to Lucas. Lucas cheated on him and he broke Winn's heart. Then I came along. The rebound. 

I hate talking about Lucas, I wish I didn't know about his existence. But I do. And I also know that he was Winn's first love. Not me.

Winn slowly pulls away so that he can look me in the eye. "I'm not comparing you to him," he tells me and he should stop talking now before one of us says something we don't mean. I really don't want to be compared to that piece of shit. "And I know it's all in my head and you'd never... But I just can't stop feeling jealous."

"Jealous of what?" I scoff. Elio blew me once a couple of months ago and I didn't even know his name up until today. He means less than nothing to me.

"I saw the way he was looking at you, Monty," Winn tells me like I was the one controlling Elio's face. Yeah he was giving me the horny eyes and so what? It's not like I'll ever fuck him.

I wish I could just tell Winn to shut up and stop stressing over it but all he seems to do is worry recently. And not even about the things that matter. 

I slide my hands down his back and I let them swing by my sides. He doesn't look happy that I'm not touching his back and he tries to pull me closer to him.

"I don't want to upset you," he tells me and then he reaches up with one hand and he starts running his fingers through my hair. Sneaky fucker, he knows how much I like having my hair played with. He twists a strand of my hair around my finger and he plays with it for a second. I just close my eyes and let him do as he pleases.

"Are you staying?" Winn asks me quietly. Staying overnight? With him? Normally I would just say yes but then there's my mother... I'm not really sure how this is supposed to work.

"Do you want me to stay?" I ask as he runs his fingers to the back of my head where the hair is shorter. His fingertips rest on the nape of my neck and I open my eyes to look at him. He does want me to stay. "I don't know..." I tease him. "I should get home before my curfew."

Winn rolls his eyes. "You don't _have_ a curfew," he says and then he leans in to kiss me. His lips are almost touching mine and then he stops. "Please stay? I don't like sleeping alone."

Will my mom be pissed if I don't return home for the night? Probably. But I'll send her a text or something and that should do. She doesn't get to be mad when she spent almost my entire life being a shitty mother. She can't decide to start caring now when I'm almost eighteen.

"Okay," I say right before Winn presses his lips against mine.

***

Winn is still making the bed when I come out of the bathroom. The bed wasn't messy or anything, he just had to change the bedding. 

"I think someone was calling you," he tells me and he nods to the nightstand where my phone is. 

"Probably just my mom," I say and I don't even look to check, I just turn the phone off. Winn raises an eyebrow.

"Don't you think you should answer?" he asks as I jump onto the bed. He sighs because he hasn't even finished making the bed and I'm already messing it up. 

"I sent her a text, she knows where I am," I say simply and I cross my arms behind my head. She knows I won't be coming home tonight. She hasn't worried about me all her life, she doesn't get to start now.

Winn is holding a pillow that he still needs to put on the bed but he just throws it onto his side of the bed and then crawls to me. 

I'm not wearing a shirt, just jeans. I would wear a shirt except it's dirty with his fucking come. As if he couldn't use something else to wipe himself off.

He puts his head on my chest and his leg in between mine like he always does. I just rub his back with my hand as he runs his finger along my chest.

"Are we going to school tomorrow?" he asks me like I'm the one that has to decide. It'll be a Friday and I don't really feel like going.

"Do you want to?" I ask but I think we both know the answer to that. He'd prefer anything over going to school. He looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. That's that then. No school for us tomorrow.

"We should go somewhere. Do something," Winn says but neither of us wants to make plans. I'd rather stay in with him.

"Mhm," I say. I'm so tired after fucking him. It really is exhausting and I could fall asleep right now but Winn is keeping me awake.

"Don't fall asleep now, we're trying to make plans," he tells me when I close my eyes and he gently nudges my leg with his own. 

I groan. "But I'm _tired._ "

He scoffs. "Tired?"

"Yes, tired," I tell him and I try to push his head off of my chest but he doesn't budge. "You wouldn't understand, all you do is just lay there and let me do all the work." Now, that's not exactly true. We both have to put effort in but in the end, I'm the one who has to do more work.

Winston takes his head off of my chest and glares down at me. "You wanna swap? I'll gladly swap."

I have to laugh. "What? You'd fuck me? Mhm, I'd like to see you try." I just can't see it, I don't think I'd get off on having a dick shoved in my ass. It works for him and that's fine.

Winn clearly looks offended but then shakes it off. "Could I at least ride you instead?"

I have to bite my lips to stop myself from groaning. We've tried it once, during the summer back when it was just sex, food, conversation, sex. Never tried it again, I didn't like having him in control.

He puts his head next to mine and stares at me while he traces my jawline with his fingers.

"Now?" I ask. I just fucked the shit out of him and he still isn't satisfied? What am I doing wrong?

Winston smiles at me innocently and shrugs. Fuck, why is he so horny all the time?

He leans down and starts kissing me. He places small kisses on my cheek, then on my jaw and then on my neck. He's on top. He moves to straddle me and I'm already not liking this, being trapped under him. 

I move my hands under his shirt and he pulls away to let me take it off of him. I throw the shirt onto the floor and he leans down again to kiss and suck on my neck. I should have known I wouldn't leave here without at least a few marks on my neck.

He sinks his teeth into my flesh and I groan at the pain. He licks over the bruises as if that will somehow make it disappear. But it seems to soothe the pain. 

I miss feeling his lips on mine and he's having way too much fun marking me. I pull his head up by his hair and I guide his lips to mine. He doesn't resist. He kisses me roughly and starts grinding his hips against mine. I can already feel how hard he is.

He pulls away again and then moves down, leaving kisses down my chest and my stomach. I take the opportunity to reach over to the nightstand and search for the lube in the drawer. There isn't a lot of it left but it should do.

Winn's mouth is now kissing my stomach just above my jeans. I try to push his head down but he stays where he is and starts palming my dick through my jeans instead. I breathe in sharply as the rough fabric rubs over my dick. Finally, after a lot of groaning, he moves down and starts kissing the fabric of my jeans.

"Fuck," I mutter under my breath. I just want him to touch me, the fabric is too thick for my liking. He stops for a second to unbuckle my jeans and he pulls them down to my thighs. 

He swallows me down without hesitating and he looks up to make eye contact with me. Fuck. If only he knew what he was doing to me. 

He bobs his head up and down and I just continue watching him, wondering how he manages to do it so easily while I was struggling to just get the tip in.

One of his hands is holding onto my hip so tightly that I'm pretty sure he'll bruise me but I don't mind. I feel his tongue swirl around the head of my cock and I grab onto the bed covers as I feel my cock twitch slightly.

It's impossible to think about anything else but his mouth on my cock. All the blood around my body is rushing to my dick and my head feels scrambled. 

He knows this of course and he pulls away just when I'm moments away from coming. He squeezes the rest of the lube into his hand and then he moves his hands up and down my cock to cover it in lube. I sigh at his touch and then he steps away from the bed and he starts unbuttoning his own trousers.

He manages to completely undress himself and I reach down to stroke my cock as I watch him. He then takes ahold of the jeans around my thighs and he pulls them off with one thug. 

He moves to hover above me and he leans down to press his lips onto mine. His lips are already red and swollen from blowing me and I bit down on his bottom lip. One of my hands is still around my cock and I try to position it properly to find his hole. He groans softly when the tip presses against his hole.

I don't think he needs to be fingered, he must still be loose from last time. But then he lowers himself down on my cock and his body still resists a bit.

I help out of course. I thrust my hips upwards until I'm fully inside of him and he whines. He digs his nails into my arms as he starts moving up and down. I let him figure out a rhythm and then I join in, moving my hips up to match his movements.

One of my hands stays on his back but I move the other one to his cock and start jerking him off. This might not be my preferred position but it's alright for now that I'm tired. I'll let him do some work for once.

He breaths in sharply as I stroke him fast and hard. He's already leaking at the tip and he starts moving faster on my cock. 

He's so tight around me that I have to bite my lip to stop myself from groaning. I know he hates it when I refuse to make noise. 

I thrust into him at an angle and I keep going until it finally hits his prostate. He tenses around me and I feel his cock twitch in my hand. He's going to come first.

He picks up the pace, groaning and moaning when I repeatedly hit his prostate. I'm getting good at finding it quickly now. 

His cock is throbbing in my hand and I stroke him even faster wanting him to come first. And he does. His muscles clench around me and then come shoots out from the tip of his cock and lands on my chest. I should wipe myself off with his shirt and see how he likes it.

He's still sensitive and he slows down a little. But he knows that I haven't come yet and he keeps on moving. I thrust even harder and even faster and he whines. 

I manage one last rough thrust and then I come inside of him. He moans softly and then he collapses on top of me not even stopping to take my cock out.

He places a small kiss on my lips and I brush his wet hair away from his forehead. Okay, so that wasn't so bad. 

***

This is nice. I know it's nice because even Winn doesn't want to get up. It's almost ten in the morning and normally he's up before nine. We're both awake but we have no intention of getting up. We have the whole day to ourselves.

My mom is pissed of course. Estella had to text Winn because I wasn't answering just to tell me that mom is pissed. And what's she gonna do? Ground me? Even my dad could never successfully ground me.

His back is pressed against my chest and I have my arms around him. He's just slowly stroking my hand with his thumb.

I really hope all his worries about Elio are a distant memory.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Winn asks sleepily and I just pull him closer to me. I know it must be torture for him to stay in bed this long but he's not going anywhere.

"Shut up and stop moving," I say before placing a kiss on his shoulder. I'm hoping to stay in bed for most of the day and then maybe he'll forget about his plans to go out.   
  
"But I'm hungry," Winn mumbles and he tries to turn around to face me. I hold him in place. I know what he's trying to do, he'll kiss me and then he'll get out of bed when I'm distracted.

"You don't have to get up," I tell him and I bury my face in his neck. He stops moving. "We could order something. What do you want?"

Winn sighs. "You choose." If I wanted to choose, I wouldn't have asked him. 

I reach over to the nightstand on his side of the bed to grab my phone, that's where the charger is so I moved my phone over there last night. Winn's phone is next to mine and the little light keeps blinking.

I pick my phone up as well as his and then I pass it to him as I lay back down. "I think someone's been texting you."

His eyebrows furrow as he picks his phone up and turns it on. I move away from him and lay flat on my back as I look through the options of what food we could get. Winn's body stiffens by my side and I glance at him. "Everything okay?" 

He doesn't speak for a minute, he just scrolls down his screen. Something's wrong.

"Hey," I say and I sit up because he's not paying any attention to me. His eyes are fixed on the phone screen.

"It-It's my parents," he says shakily as his eyes read the text messages on the screen. I manage to catch a glimpse of it and there are paragraphs and short messages. A lot of them. "Fuck. Fuck, I... I need to call them."

Before I can ask what happened, he gets off the bed and he locks himself in the bathroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to upload, i focused on SOWK for a while   
> let me know what you thought of this chapter :)


	5. Deep Clean

**Chapter Five**

Winston's grandad had a stroke.

I wish I knew more but Winston hasn't really been very descriptive in his text messages. I texted him tens of times a day to check up on him the only replies I got were 'doing alright' or 'busy now'.

He was a mess when he came out of that bathroom. He was a crying mess and I didn't understand a thing he said. He wanted to get into his car and drive but I wasn't going to let him in the state he was in.

I drove him over to the hospital but he didn't want me to stay. He said he wanted to be with his family. I said okay and I left but I couldn't help and feel hurt that he didn't want me around.

Benji is just as worried as I am but he's even more upset. Benji's family is close to Winston's family, Winston's grandad is Benji's grandad. Benji was going to come over as soon as he could but Winn's parents said it was best if we just wait and see if anything improves.

He's fallen into a coma. Benji told me. Benji doesn't know much either, he doesn't want to bother Winn's family during this time.

I came home and mom tried to ground me. Yeah right, as if I was going to listen to her. Yeah okay, she got us away from our father. Eighteen years too late. She can't expect me to treat her like my mother when only a few months ago she moved out by herself and left me and 'Stella with that bastard.

Scott, Estella and Charlie have been helping me out. They've been keeping me distracted, telling me not to worry about Winn for now, he just needs some time with his family.

He spent the whole weekend with his family and it's Monday now.

I know he's back at home. His parents don't want this to affect his education so they're staying at Winn's grandad's house while Winn is staying at the house by himself.

He doesn't look well when he opens the door and sees me. "What do you want?" he asks miserably and he sniffles. He doesn't step away from the door, are we really going to have a conversation on his doorstep?

"Can I come inside?" I ask and I look past his shoulder. It's a mess inside, the floor hasn't been hoovered, there are food wrappers and packagings littering the stairs.

Winn steps to the side to cover my view of the inside of the house. "No," he says simply and then he sighs. "What are you doing here?"

It's just past seven in the morning and I'm dressed for school. He looks like he just got out of bed.

My heart sinks. He doesn't want me here. I was scared that he'll push me away because of this. 

"I came to check up on you," I say nervously. Still stood on his doorstep. Awkward. "And take you to school, you can't-"

"I'm not going to school," Winn interrupts me and he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Okay... Then we can just stay in, right?" I say desperately. I don't want him to push me away, I want to be there for him. 

Winn looks away and bites his lip. Not good. "Monty, I know you mean well..." he says. "But I just really want to be alone right now."

"But-"

"I'll text you if I need anything," he says and he tries to smile. It's the last thing I see before the door is shut in my face.

***

"Were they close?"

"Fuck, he's still alive. Don't use the fucking past tense," I say and Charlie looks apologetic. It's not him I'm mad at. It's not even Winn I'm mad at, I'm mad at myself.

I have to be in school and eat lunch with my friends and act like my boyfriend isn't crying alone at home right now. 

"Yeah, I guess," I say now calmly. "Winn loves him so you know... He's obviously upset."

Winn does love his grandad. He wanted me to meet him that one time and I didn't want to because I thought it was too soon. I'll never forgive myself if he dies before I get to meet him.

"If he needs time, then you gotta respect that and give him time," Scott says with a shrug like it's that easy.

"I get that," I say with my head in my hands. "But I just wish he'd talk to me properly. I could help him."

Scott and Charlie exchange looks.

"What?"

Charlie looks away leaving it to Scott. "Just because you're together now," Scott says. "Doesn't mean your lives have to revolve around each other."

"I know that," I say. I'm not stupid, I know that both of us have lives and we can't stay attached at the hip forever. "But I just wanna be there for him-"

"See, that's the thing," Scott interrupts me but his voice stays calm. "He doesn't _want_ you to be there for him. Giving him space is also being there for him. You just have to respect what he wants."

Scott doesn't understand. It's not his boyfriend that is pushing him away right this moment. But he, of course, thinks he's right.

I tell them that I need to go to the toilets but really I just need a break from them. They think that they're helping but they're just not. 

I lean on the wall in the toilets like a creep and I text Winn for the hundredth time today.

_Did you eat yet?_

_I can come over and bring you some food later if you like?_

I'll go anyway. Fuck what Scott thinks. Winn needs me right now and I'll just keep trying until he finally gives up and lets me help him.

Guys give me weird looks for just standing there in the toilets but no one says anything. But one of them decides to speak up as he stands by the sink and washes his hands.

"Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you."

I look up and see that scrawny Elio kid rubbing soap in his hands. As if this day couldn't get any worse. I've been meaning to avoid him, Winn's got enough problems as it is.

"Look, kid..." I say. I need to just let him down gently, let him know that whatever happened between us will never happen again. It would be much easier if I didn't have to do it in a bathroom where there could be guys listening in from the stalls.

"I asked Zach but he said you're the guy to talk to," Elio interrupts me as he wipes his hands on his trousers. I stare at him. "I want to try out for the baseball team."

"Excuse me?"

Baseball season doesn't start until March but tryouts and practice are next week. I look at this guy and I just know he's not going to get into the team. Might as well just let him down so he doesn't waste his time.

"I want to try out for the baseball team," he says again. I put my phone away and I sigh. I can't turn him away, not if I want to be captain. I have to make good decisions for the team.

"Erm, just..." I say and I have to lightly shake my head to tell myself to get it together. "Tryouts are next week. Monday evening. Straight after school."

He stares at me while he listens but for some reason, I doubt he's taking any of it in. I doubt this conversation is even about baseball.

"Okay," he says and he smiles. "See you there then."

Yeah, no. That's not happening. 

"I don't know what's going through your head right now, but I have a-a boyfriend, okay?" I say and my voice wobbles at the 'boyfriend' part in case there's some fucker listening in to our conversation. 

Elio raises an eyebrow. "...Okay?" he says uncertainly. "I just wanna play baseball."

Am I overreacting? Am I being too harsh on him? Fuck, I don't know. Maybe Winn's jealousy just messed with my head.

"Oh, sorry," I say awkwardly and he smiles at me. I don't know what to think of him anymore. 

I have to get out of here before he can come up with another excuse to talk to me. I just walk past him and right out of the bathroom without looking back.

***

I was planning on going to Winn's house tomorrow after school but then he texted me to tell me that he was going to the hospital so he wouldn't be home. He hasn't answered any of my messages since.

The only reliable information I'm getting is from Benji who's in contact with Winn's parents. There's no change, his grandad isn't getting worse but he's not getting better either.

I can't just let Winn stay at home, he needs to see that he's not alone.

I think it's just past six in the morning. If Winn wants to go to school then I'll take him to school, if he doesn't then I'll just stay at home with him. I'm not gonna let him spend another day alone.

I think I woke 'Stella up when I was in the bathroom because I hear quiet footsteps walking past my room. I'm standing in front of the mirror, putting gel in my hair when the door opens and Estella sticks her head inside. She's still wearing her PJs and her hair is a mess. Definitely woke her up.

"Are you going to see Winston?" she askes me and I nod while running my fingers through my gelled hair. She yawns and covered her mouth with her hand. "Good luck."

We both know I'm going to need it to get Winn out of bed.

I knock twice and I ring the bell and he still doesn't open the door. I don't want to text him, he won't open the door if he knows that it's me.

I keep on banging on the door, I'm surprised none of the neighbours called the cops on me yet. Winn better open the door before they do.

I finally hear the key turn in the lock and when the door opens he's frowning at me. "What are you doing? Do you know what time it is?"

Yeah, I do. And it looks like he hasn't even slept a wink yet.

He doesn't have the energy or the body strength to stop me from walking inside. He looks embarrassed when I look around the hallway and then into the living room. 

It's a mess everywhere, dirty clothes, takeaway boxes, dirty cups and plates...

"I'm fine," Winn tells me as I stare at the mess in the living room. I turn around and I stare at him. Fine? He looks like he crawled out from a grave.

"Winston..." I say and he bites his lip nervously and looks away. "You need to sleep."

I remember him doing the same for me. Back when I found out about Scott and Estella. He forced me to skip school and catch up on sleep. 

"I can't-" he says and he sighs. "I can't sleep. I've tried but I... I can't." I can see by his eyes that he's been too focused on crying to even think about sleep. 

I just take a step forward and I wrap my arms around him before pulling him into my chest. He leans against me like he's too tired to even stand on his own two feet. I hold him up as he buries his face into my neck and holds onto me like I'm the only thing keeping him together.

"Do you want me to carry you to bed?" I ask him only half-joking and he manages a small laugh. 

"Mhm." I pick him up and he manages to wrap his legs around my hips. He's not exactly light but he's light enough for me to be able to carry him up the stairs.

His room is even more of a mess but I don't comment on it. Instead, I just lay him down in his bed but he doesn't let go of my hips with his legs. 

"Don't go," he says when I try to pull away from him. 

"I'm not going anywhere," I tell him. He's my priority right now, I just need to let the guys and Estella know that I won't be in school.

He still doesn't look convinced when I pull the duvet over him. I tuck him into bed and he starts rubbing his eyes. He turns on his side and I lay down next to him but on top of the duvet. This way it'll be easier for me to get out of bed without waking him up when he falls asleep.

I throw one arm over him and I use my other hand to play with his hair. He sighs and closes his eyes. I thought it would be harder for him to fall asleep but after a few minutes, his body relaxes and his breathing regulates.

I stay laying with him for a few more minutes just in case he wakes up. But he's deep in sleep and I finally move away from him. He stirs a bit when I stop playing with his hair but he doesn't wake up and I get off the bed.

After texting whoever I need to text, I start to clean up his room. I'm not big on cleaning but someone needs to do it. I'm not going to deep clean the house, that's for the cleaner to do but I don't want Winn to be sleeping surrounded by dirty cups and clothes. I don't think I've ever seen his room look this messy. 

I collect all the dirty clothes from the floor and I throw them into the laundry basket in his bathroom. The room already looks better. His desk is a mess of piles of papers but I don't touch it in case I mess something up. I don't even go anywhere near the table where he's got all his photography shit set out, it's probably the only clean part of the room anyway.

I'm not going to wash the dishes but I do load the dishwasher. I don't even attempt to clean the kitchen, I'll leave that to the professionals. I throw away the takeaway food packaging and the living room and hallway looks decent so I go back up to Winn's room again.

He's still sleeping. I look at the clock, only about an hour has passed. I would love nothing more than to get into bed with him and sleep with him in my arms but I know that there's still stuff to do.

Winn's already been struggling with schoolwork before all of this mess, I just know his grades are going to go down. I find his school bag in his closet and I look for any homework that I could do for him. 

I regret looking. There's piles and piles of unfinished work. Some of it even dating to be due in last week. He's doing worse than I thought.

I sit on the floor, the papers set out around me, his laptop in my lap. I manage to finish all of his Spanish and maths homework making sure to add a few mistakes. I'm about to start his English essay but then I hear him stir and groan.

"What are you doing?" he mutters as he frowns at the sight of me doing his homework. He's still sleepy, he's only slept for about two and a half hours and he needs more.

"Nothing," I say quickly. I stand up from the floor and I go over to the bed before he can wake up properly.

"Did you clean my room?" he asks sleepily as I wrap my arms around him. He leans his head against my neck and he sighs when I kiss him on the forehead.

"Someone had to," I tell him simply and he smiles. 

"You're sweet," he tells me and I feel my face heating up. I swear if the team could see me like this... But they'd understand that it's for him.

Winn closes his eyes and he tries to sleep but there's something bothering him. "Did anyone call or text while I was asleep?" he asks me. I haven't even thought to check.

I reach over to the nightstand and I pick up his phone. There are no messages from his parents but there is one message. From Lucas.

Fuck. Why the fuck is he texting Winn? I think about opening and reading the message but I can't do that. I trust Winn, obviously, but Lucas... I thought we were done with that fucker.

He's just asking Winn how he's doing but I still hate him for thinking that he can just show up and start caring about him. The last time I saw him, I broke his nose. I'll do it again.

"No texts," I say and I put the phone away. Winn nods and he presses his nose into my neck. I think he's gonna go back to sleep but then he puts his hand on the side of my face and he kisses me.

"Hey..." I say softly when he pulls away. "You're meant to be sleeping."

"I know I just..." he says as he moves back to nuzzle into my neck. "I needed to do that."

He just lays in my arms for a couple of minutes. I rub his back in slow circular motions until he falls asleep. He's sleeping peacefully while I lay there worrying about Lucas.


	6. Deciphering Messages

**Chapter Six**

It feels like we've moved in together. Winston didn't like having the house all to himself so first I stayed late with him. Then I started sleeping over. And now I'm practically living with him.

I've been able to drag him to school for the last few days of the week. There's been no news on his grandad and his parents are coming home on Monday if there are no changes. 

It's Friday night and we're laying in bed together. His head is on my chest, the laptop resting on my knees and I play with his hair as we watch _Stranger Things_ together. It was a bit weird at first but now I'm starting to get into it.

I rest my cheek on the top of Winn's head and I think he's slowly starting to fall asleep. We haven't done much sleeping, mostly just talking. Well, Winn's done most of the talking and crying while I just listened and held him until he eventually managed to fall asleep. It's exhausting making sure he eats at least three decent meals a day, that he showers every day, that he has clean clothes. I had to call Estella and ask her how to turn the washing machine on because I was too embarrassed to ask Winn.

It might be a lot of work, but I can't imagine doing this for anyone else. I love him, you know?

Benji checks in daily, he keeps us sane by taking our minds off of all our problems even if it is just for a few minutes.

One of the phones on the nightstand vibrates and we turn our heads to look. I'm closer to the nightstand so naturally, I reach over and check who's phone it is. 

"It's yours," I say as I pick up the phone and try to hand it to him. He makes no attempt to take it from me.

"Check it," he tells me and he nuzzles into my chest again. My other hand stays playing with his hair while the other one unlocks his phone. Another message. I was hoping that it would be an update from his parents but it's not.

"It's fucking Lucas again," I groan and I throw the phone to the side. We've talked about Lucas, Winn was just as surprised as me when he saw the text. He didn't reply. But Lucas keeps on texting.

I take my hand away from Winn's hair and I rub them up and down my face. He stops the episode playing on the laptop and turns to me.

"Hey, we talked about this," he says and he tries to peel my hands away from my face.

"Yeah and I told you to fucking block him," I say as I take my hands away from my face. It sounded a little more aggressive than I wanted it to and Winn looks a bit surprised. "Sorry," I say. "I'm not mad at you, I didn't mean to shout."

How did we go from me beating the shit out of him to me apologizing for raising my voice at him?

He wraps his arms around my neck and rests his head against mine. "It's okay," he says quietly but I still feel bad. If the laptop wasn't in my lap, I already would have pulled him on top of me and hugged him until he had enough of me.

But then the phone vibrates again and I can feel every single muscle in my body stiffening.

"Don't," Winn says when I reach for the phone. But we both know that it could be his parents and he doesn't stop me when I pick it up.

It's that motherfucker again.

"Okay, that's enough I think," Winn says and he takes the phone out of my hand.

I manage to read the two new messages as Winn goes into the options to block Lucas in front of my eyes.

_Wanna get lunch together?_

_I'd love to know how you're doing right now :)_

"Fuck off," Winn mutters under his breath as he clicks on the block button. It feels like a heavy weight is lifted off my shoulders. "See? All done now."

He leans over me and places the phone back onto the nightstand. Okay, so that's Lucas gone out of the picture. Now how do I tell him about Elio trying out for baseball? Should I even tell him? Does it matter? No, it's best not to worry him at the moment.

Winn goes back to the usual position of his head on my chest and then he starts the episode again. I can't concentrate on the plot anymore.

***

A nightmare. I can't remember the last time I've had one.

My body jerks awake and I seem to wake Winn up too. He looks at me all confused while I try to steady my breathing.

"Monty?" he asks raspily and he lifts his head from my chest. I can't even bring myself to reply, I'm too busy trying to figure out what's real and what isn't.

"Hey, your heart is racing. And you're shaking," Winn says and he sounds so concerned about me. He puts his arms around me in an attempt to try to calm me down. After a moment, my heart rate slows down and I look around the room as if expecting my dad to pounce at us from the corner of the room.

"Was it a nightmare?" Winn asks me once I've calmed down. This time I can finally reply.

"Something like that," I say not wanting to admit that I, indeed, had a nightmare. About my dad out of all people. That bastard shouldn't scare me.

But it's not him I was afraid of, he wasn't what made the nightmare terrible. It was the thought of him hurting Winn that made my heart race.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Winn's arms are still wrapped around my middle and his head is still resting on my chest.

"No," I manage to breathe out. He doesn't need to know what I just dreamt about.

"You sure?" He places a small kiss on my chest and I reach to play with his hair almost automatically.

"Mhm," I say but I can't get the image of my father beating him out of my head. "Just go back to sleep."

After a while, when I'm sure that he's asleep, I pick my phone up and I text Estella. I have a bad feeling about this, I haven't dreamt about my dad in ages.

It's the middle of the night so of course, she won't reply but the lack of messages from her side tell me not to worry. The last messages she sent me were pictures of her and Scott.

***

Estella told me not to worry about dad, everything is okay and I was just having a bad nightmare. Now all of my attention can go to Winn.

Part of looking after him is making sure he's not thinking about his grandad 24/7. And that means providing a good distraction.

Charlie's family is in town and that means Charlie has to hang out with his six-year-old cousin. Fortunately for me, Winn seems to love kids. He's a big kid himself.

We've invited 'Stella and Scott along too but they already have plans. So it's just the four of us, Charlie, Winn, me and six-year-old Ella.

"I can't pick between the two," Winn says to Ella as if she's someone that should be treated with respect. He's holding two bottles of nail polish in his hands.

I don't know how I let myself get talked into this. I wanted to swap places and paint Winn's nails instead but he said he didn't want to have ugly hands. Painting nails can't be that hard, right?

"Just do one hand purple and the other one pink," Ella advises Winn and he hums in agreement.

We're sat at the dining table while Charlie's family is having a conversation in the living room.

I'm sat opposite Winn, Charlie is sat next to me and we've both got our hands set out on the table. I swear this is the dumbest thing I've ever done. It better come off before baseball practice on Monday.

Winn starts with the pink first while Charlie gets to have black nails. I feel like I'm putting too much trust into my boyfriend.

Winn makes conversation with the little girl while Charlie and I sit there bored out if our minds. Charlie seems to be enjoying this though.

"Ughh, you moved _again_ ," Winn groans at me and he picks up a wipe soaked in some nail varnish remover and starts rubbing it around my nail.

"I didn't!" I protest as he keeps wiping making sure to dry it off after with a dry wipe. "It's your shaky hands."

Winn glares at me. "No, it's not! I'm just trying to draw a flower."

Jesus Christ. He makes me feel so straight sometimes. But then again, I'm the one having his nails painted.

Winn turns to the little girl. "How do I draw a flower?"

Ella shrugs as she covers Charlie's nails with black nail polish. "Make some blobs." This sounds like a terrible idea but of course, Winn has as much common sense as a six-year-old.

So he starts dropping blobs of nail varnish onto my fingers and making a mess. He looks so proud of himself that I don't have the heart to tease him.

"Okay, you can have one flower," Winn says because he's clearly given up on the flower idea. He blows on my nails to make them dry faster and I sigh. If the guys see this, they're going to make fun of me until the very end. 

Charlie's gone kind of quiet. I worry about him now that he's stopped mentioning Alex in our conversations.

"How's Alex?" I ask him and he turns to me and looks surprised that I'd even think to ask. I guess I'm just picking up on a few things from Winn.

Charlie shrugs uncomfortably. "Fine. Maybe," he says sourly and he turns away to face Ella. "You should ask Zach, I bet he knows."

Zach? Zach and _Alex?_ But... No. I've made jokes about it but... _Zach?_ Really?

Charlie sighs and I don't want to make him any more uncomfortable so I turn back to Winn. He's finished painting my nails, one hand is pink with a purple blop that's apparently a flower on my ring finger and the other one is just purple with no blobs.

"Do you like it?" he asks me with a grin on his face. Ella would have done a better job than him but... Come on, I can't be mean to him. 

I raise an eyebrow as I study my nails a bit closer. They're not that bad. If I close my eyes.

"Mhm," I say and he laughs because he knows that I hate it. 

"You can do mine now," Winn says but before he can pass the box of nail polish to me, his phone starts ringing and he looks around for it. He picks it up from the chair next to him and he glances at me before answering. 

I know that look, it's about his grandad.  
  
***

Family only. Which means that I'm waiting outside in my car. I tap my fingers against the steering wheel as if that will make time go by faster.   
  
So Winn's grandad woke up. That's all I managed to decipher from his ramblings after he hung up the phone. Obviously they won't let him out straight away. He had a stroke for fuck's sake, I just hope that he's okay for everyone's sake.

A few minutes later, Winn walks out of the hospital with his parents by either side of him. I think about walking out and saying hello to them but then they stop by the stairs and as Winn walks to the parking lot, they turn back around to walk to the hospital. 

He's smiling so that must mean something. I sigh with relief as he gives me a small wave and then crosses the road towards my car.

"So... My grandad's awake," Winn tells me cheerfully once he's in the car. "And as soon as he's feeling better, you're coming with me to meet him." 

Yeah, I had a feeling that this was coming. "Okay," I say and he grins at me. Lucas met his grandad, that's why he's been trying to get in touch with Winn. I kind of felt like that was the only thing that made him better than me.

I'm about to ask Winn where he wants me to take him, back to his house, his grandad's house or maybe he wants to go eat something. But he puts his hand on the side of my face and he kisses me. 

His lips are soft against mine and he tastes like hospital coffee but even the taste couldn't ruin the kiss. He doesn't open his eyes when we pull away and he rests his forehead against mine.

"Thank you," he whispers and then he briefly kisses me again.

"What for?" I ask him quietly and I bring my hand up to touch his hand that's on my cheek. He opens his eyes and smiles before putting his head on my shoulder.

"Everything," he says and I wrap my arms around him as he does he best to move his body to the driver's seat. "Thank you for... being here."

"Of course," I say and then I sigh. "Now get back to your seat. As much as I like this, I don't plan on spending the rest of the night in this parking lot." 

He laughs softly into my shoulder and then he pulls away and moves back to his seat. "Are you still staying over at mine?" he asks while he puts his seatbelt on. I think he's just talking about me sleeping over again but then he gives me the look and he tilts his head to the side. 

Oh.

"Um, yeah, yeah. Sure," I say nervously and I fumble around with the key in the lock. "Yeah, I'll stay over."

His parents will probably be moving back in soon so might as well take advantage of having the whole house to ourselves. 

It'll be weird moving back in with my mom now that most of my shit is over at Winn's. I'll miss living with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this :)


	7. A Bad Feeling

**Chapter Seven**

Estella managed to help me get all the nail polish off of my nails but not after a lot of teasing. I shouldn't have asked for her help.

But now the guys can't pick on me and I get to focus on swinging the bat and hitting the ball. First practice. I'm already worn out but at least Coach Rick isn't making me play too much. 

I'm sitting over at the bleachers with Diego and some other guys that have been part of the baseball team for a while now.

"What's the skinny kid doing here?" Diego asks and he nudges me. I'm texting Winn, he wants me to come over to his after. I look up from my phone.

The Elio guy is walking to the batting square with his bat. He looks like he has no fucking idea what he's doing. Like I said, he's just wasting everyone's time.

I sit with Diego because Scott is standing with Coach Rick and Charlie is with the group of newcomers who are trying out. Zach dropped out last year after the whole rape thing and with neither him nor Bryce around, I think Scotty's going to be our new captain. 

"He's not even going to hit the ball," I tell Diego and he laughs. We watch as Elio holds the bat with both his hands and he waits for Luke to throw the ball his way. I'm more than convinced he's going to miss.

But then the ball gets thrown his way and Elio swings hard, his bat makes contact with the ball and the ball is batted all the way down the field.

"Ooh, nice one!" Diego shouts like he hasn't just been making fun of the kid a few seconds ago. Then he turns to me. "He's good, right?"

"Sure," I say sourly. I don't want Elio on the team. I don't want Elio anywhere near me. But we need good players like him. 

***

"And I know that- Oh fuck, yes. Right there."

Winn sighs and digs the heel of his hand harder into my shoulders. He's good with his hands. I'm tired after practice and he promised to give me a back massage if I come over. It's a win-win situation for me.

I'm not wearing a shirt and I'm laying stomach down on his bed while he stands behind me and massages my back.

"I know that there might be a vote to decide who's captain but-" I stop to groan again when he presses down on that one spot where there seems to be a lot of tension. "But I don't wanna compete with Scotty."

If the guys get to decide, they'll choose me. But Coach Rick would never let me lead the team. I think he's still holding onto the hope that Zach will come back.

"It's okay if you wanna be captain," Winn tells me as he keeps massaging my back. "We both know you deserve it."

Yeah, but he doesn't get it. Scott deserves it too and I don't wanna take that away from him. If it was anyone else, I would do everything I could to compete with the guy. But I can't do that to Scotty.

"Mhm," I say and the sound is muffled because my face is pressed against the bed.

I haven't told Winn about Elio yet, it's not like it's a big deal anyway. And he's still got his grandad to worry about. He's awake but he's not... It's better if he just sticks to things he's familiar with. 

I could fall asleep from just his hands massaging my back but then he stops and seconds later he falls next to me on the bed.

"That's it?" I ask him and he grins.

"My hands are tired," he says innocently and holds up his hands as proof. We've been at this for maybe five minutes, he can't be tired already.

"Come on, just a minute longer?" I ask but he's not even paying attention to me. My baseball shirt is laying on the pillows and he reaches to pick it up.

I just watch him as he puts it on top of his own long-sleeved shirt. It looks ridiculous on him. The sleeves are too wide and he's too skinny for it overall.

"How do I look?" he asks and he sits cross-legged on the bed.

"Beautiful," I mumble with my cheek still pressed against the bed and he grins at me. He stands up and walks over to the mirror to look at himself and I have to turn my head to the other side to see him.

He looks at himself in the mirror from all angles and then he looks back at me. "Winston de la Cruz... What do you think?"

I raise an eyebrow. Seriously? It doesn't even sound right. But his name with my last name...

"Monty Williams?" he suggests and I pull a face.

"I think I prefer Winston de la Cruz," I say honestly and Winston grins at himself in the mirror.

"Winston and Monty de la Cruz," he says quietly and then he turns around and walks over to the bed again.

"I thought gays weren't allowed to marry though," I say because it's what's been on my mind. It's what I've been thinking about ever since we got together, that we don't have the same rights as straight couples just because we're gay.

Winn rolls his eyes. "Don't ruin it," he says sadly and then he lays down beside me. He sighs and then grins to himself. "I can't wait to see you play baseball."

I stare at him. Is he being serious? He barely went to any football games last year and now he's already planning on going to see the baseball games? I just hope he doesn't get mad about Elio.

"You'd come?" I ask him just to check if he's being serious.

"Why not?" he says and then he grins at me like he's thinking about something.

"You don't even understand baseball," I remind him. It's all nonsense to him.

"That's true," he admits. "But I can just sit there and stare at your ass the entire game. You look good in those trousers."

My eyebrows shoot up and they stay like that for a moment. Did he really just compliment my ass? Before I can react, he leans forward and smacks my ass making a loud slapping noise.

He knows that I don't like it and he tries to jump off the bed and run away. I'm faster than him, I hold my arm out and wrap it around his waist before pulling him back towards me.

He keeps on giggling as I trap him between the bed and myself when I get on top of him.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" he says through giggles and I just shake my head at him. Once he calms down, he puts his hands on my hips and grins. "Stay over?"

"You know I can't," I tell him. I'd love to stay over with him especially now that we've gotten used to living together. But Mom's expecting me to be home in about an hour and I can't just keep on avoiding her.

Winn pouts like a child but I'm not going to change my mind. I get off of him and lay next to him on the bed. He turns on his side to face me.

"I don't like sleeping without you," he tells me and starts running his fingers through my hair. His fingertips brush past my scalp and he knows that I like this. 

"I _really_ can't stay," I repeat but if he keeps this up, I'll have no choice but to give in.

He cards his fingers through my hair and massages my scalp at the same time. I close my eyes and focus on his fingers in my hair.

"Please stay," Winston says quietly and he keeps playing with my hair.

"I..." 

"Please?"

I hate it that I can't say no to him. It's just one more day with him and away from home, my mom won't mind. 

"Okay," I say and when I open my eyes, Winn is grinning at me. I hope this whole 'I can't sleep alone' thing is just his way of getting me to stay, I'd hate it if it was something more.

He moves closer to me and wraps his arms around my neck before kissing me. He rubs his nose against mine and I break out in a grin. 

"You're so..." I say and I push his hair away from his forehead. He hasn't had a haircut in a while and his hair is starting to grow out and become curlier. "You need a haircut."

He pretends to be annoyed at me and he touches his hair. "What's wrong with my hair? Don't you like it?"

I'm used to his short hair but I don't mind the slightly longer hair, he manages to make everything look good.

"No, it's nice but..." I say and I start playing with his hair. "Are you really growing it out?"

He sighs. "Fine, I'll cut my hair. Happy?" 

Before I get to answer, Winn's phone rings and my stomach drops. Nothing good ever comes out of his phone ringing. He hesitates, looks at me and then reaches over to get his phone. 

He doesn't answer it in front of me which is already a sign that something's wrong. "It's my parents," he tells me and then he looks towards the bathroom. "Do you mind if I..."

"Go ahead," I say and he answers the phone on the way to the bathroom. He locks the door behind him and I can hear a low murmur but I can't make out any words. Then the low murmur becomes even quieter and I have no idea what the tone of Winn's voice is.

He comes out of the bathroom after about fifteen minutes and he looks slightly annoyed but then he quickly covers it up with a smile. 

"So you're sleeping over?" he makes sure and when I nod he grins and he puts his phone on his desk. 

I think about asking him what's wrong but he doesn't look like he wants to talk about it. Maybe it's something about his grandad, I just hope he's okay.

***

"I told you to set an alarm!"

"I thought you said _you_ were setting an alarm!"

We're gonna be late for school. Usually, I would just say 'fuck it' and stay in bed with him all day. But now that we have to start thinking about applying to college, attendance is important. 

Winn's in the bathroom brushing his teeth while I try my best to sort my hair out in his bedroom mirror. I blame him for looking like shit, not only did he mess up my hair last night but _he_ was supposed to set an alarm and now I don't even have time to style it properly.

I hear him curse in the bathroom as I pull a shirt over my head. "What happened?"

The water in the bathroom stops running and then a second later he walks out of the bathroom with no shirt. "Got toothpaste on myself," he explains and he starts looking through his closet for a clean shirt.

He, of course, tries to get out of going to school. I'm not surprised, I was expecting this so I'm prepared when he walks over to me and hugs me from behind.

"No. Come on, we're not doing that," I say and I try to unwrap his arms from around my middle. He groans and hugs me even tighter. "I'm not stupid, I know what you're trying to do."

"Let's just stay in?" he mumbles into my shoulder and I groan.

"Nu-uh, we're going to school," I decide and I try to slide out of his grasp. He's not that strong compared to me. 

"Please? I just want to spend some time with you," Winn says as I pull away from him and start putting my belt in through the loops of my jeans.

"And I want you to graduate," I tell him and his face falls. Yeah, I get it, he doesn't want to go to school. But he has to. "Come on, don't look at me like that."

I walk over to him and I put my hands at either side of his face. He's still not smiling and if he thinks that this is going to work on me... No. I have to stand my ground.

"Get dressed, we're already late," I tell him and then I have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him on the forehead. Then he eventually smiles and nods.

"Alright... If you say so," he says and he walks back over to the closet to pick up a shirt. At least he's listening to me.

***

We're eating our lunch outside because it's not that cold and we need some fresh air from being stuck inside all day.

"I'm just saying, if Zach wants to come back, I think we should let him," Scott says. We've been talking baseball all day. He's already acting like the captain and as much as I want to be supportive, I feel a bit annoyed that Scott is this sure that he'll be chosen.

"But Zach doesn't _want_ to come back," I remind Scott and every time that Zach's name is mentioned, Charlie looks more and more annoyed. I'm guessing he hasn't told Scott about Zach and Alex yet.

"So what are we doing for my birthday?" I ask wanting to change the topic of the conversation. I don't mind if _I'm_ the topic of the conversation.

But Scott and Charlie exchange looks and go awkwardly silent. Did they forget about my birthday?

"What?"

"Nothin'," Scott says quickly and he stuffs food into his mouth to avoid having to talk. Charlie looks away before I can make eye contact with him.

"Why are you acting so weird?" I ask them and they laugh nervously.

"We're not," Scott says with his mouth full. But they are, they're glancing at each other nervously and they're avoiding my question.

I could call them out on their bullshit but then I see Winn sitting down to eat with Tyler and I forget about everything else. 

Tyler's obviously not a threat. But I still don't understand why Winn prefers to hang out with the weirdos. Can he not get some normal friends?

"I'm gonna go talk to Winn," I tell Scott and Charlie because they obviously don't want me here. Neither of them stops me.

Winn is sitting on the bench around the table and he's eating a chicken salad that he must have bought from the cafeteria. 

I walk over to the bench, sit down next to him and he doesn't question it when I pick him up and then sit him back down in my lap.

"Hi?" he says when I put my hands on his thighs and look up at him.

Tyler looks uncomfortable and he just starts to stand up. "I'll leave you guys to it." He walks over to an empty table and he sits down by himself. Winn stares after him.

"Hey, I didn't want him to leave," he tells me and he looks sad as he watches Tyler eat his lunch by himself. "He's my friend."

I raise an eyebrow and open my mouth to speak but Winston puts his hand over my mouth immediately silencing me. "Don't be mean to him," he tells me and he sounds serious so I just give it up.

"Fine," I mumble against his hand and he takes it away from my lips. "So why aren't you sitting with Scott and Charlie?" He picks up the plastic fork and he mixes his salad with it as he waits for me to answer.

I shrug. "Just wanted to each lunch with my boyfriend?"

Winn raises an eyebrow clearly not believing a word I'm saying. "Mhm." He puts some chicken in his mouth with the fork and then he glances at me. "Want some?"

It's really weird how I can just sit with him like this without anyone staring or making a comment. Well, maybe not entirely. 

Winn feeds me his salad and I spot someone staring at us from the distance. I'm sure that it's the Elio guy again. I can't believe he's on the team now and I'm going to be dealing with him every day. 

"I'm staying back after school, I'll wait for you after practice?" Winn says and obviously we have to leave together, I drove him to school after all.

"Erm, sure," I say and before I can tell him about Elio, he puts the fork in my mouth again and I have to chew instead. If he hadn't done that, I would have told him. 

"I need to tell you something," Winn says quietly as I swallow the food in my mouth. He bites down on his bottom lip, puts his fork down and sighs. 

He looks serious and he won't even look me in the eye. He's starting to freak me out. "What is it?"

Winn doesn't look up. He just stares down at the table and he taps his fingers against it. "I, erm... My parents tried to get me a place at Princeton now that... you know, we should start applying for colleges." 

"Okay?" I say uncertainly. He cheated on his SAT, it would be difficult for him to get into college if it wasn't for his parents.

Winn finally looks up at me and sighs. "They can't accept me. Obviously. So my parents think that-"

"Yo, Monty! Aren't you two cute together?" Luke shouts as he and Diego walk past. They're not messing with me, they're actually smiling at us but I still feel a bit nervous.

"Yeah, yeah," I agree with them and Luke gives me a pat on the shoulder as he walks past. Then I turn to Winn who is trying his best to smile at Luke. "What were you saying?"

"Erm, just that," he says and then he pushes some hair away from his eyes. "My parents think I should try harder in school. So I might be busy and-"

"Hey, I understand," I interrupt him because he's started to ramble nervously. "If you need to focus on schoolwork then do that. I just want what's best for you okay?" He nods and then he leans down and kisses me softly on the lips. 

"You know I love you, right?" Winn then asks when he pulls away and I raise an eyebrow at him. Where's this coming from? 

"Yeah..." I say and he smiles at me before turning back to his salad. 

I get a weird feeling in my stomach like there's something going on that he's not telling me about but then he picks his fork up again and continues feeding me like nothing's wrong. I must just be getting paranoid after the whole grandad thing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this chapter :))


	8. Be My Valentine?

**Chapter Eight**

Winn's been quite clingy those past few days. I don't know what it is but he's just not letting me out of his sight. It might have something to do with the fact that he now knows about Elio being on the team.

"Weren't you supposed to be doing your homework now?" I ask him but the answer is obvious. He said he needed to focus on school work but he's doing anything but.

He's on top of me again, his lips on my neck, his hands on my hips. I'm not complaining though. Estella is out with Scott and my mom is still at work so we have the apartment to ourselves.

"Do you want me to stop?" he mutters against my neck but his hand starts sliding down even further and I breathe in sharply.

"No."

He starts sucking on my neck and his hand finds the top of my jeans where he begins to unbuckle my belt. 

"Don't fucking mark me," I tell him but he just laughs. I've gotten enough shit from Diego and Scott for showing up with a scratched up back and purple neck to practice. 

He starts sucking on my neck and then I wince when he bites down, teeth sinking into my flesh painfully. He mumbles an apology but he doesn't sound sorry at all and then he moves his tongue across the bite mark. 

His hand starts stroking me through my underwear and I groan in annoyance. I just wanna feel his skin on mine.

I move my jeans down even more along with my boxers and Winn grazes his lips on my ear.

"I'll be on top," he whispers and he doesn't even ask anymore. I don't mind it as much now, we both get to put in work and he seems to be happy to be in control.

He gives me a few more strokes until I'm fully hard and then he moves to kiss me. I take the opportunity to unbuckle his jeans.

I pull away from him to take a moment to breathe and he wants to go back to kissing me almost immediately but I turn away.

"Shirt," I say and he takes his shirt off and throws it to the floor. I'm about to pull him down to kiss me again but then he reaches for my shirt and pulls that over my head. It lands on the floor next to his shirt and then he finally leans down and kisses me again.

He cups my chin and kisses me messily leaving saliva all over my mouth. I try to kiss him back but it just gets even messier with both of us not having a pattern, we just kiss to kiss.

"Do we have any lube?" Winn asks me and we probably should have thought about that before. 

I turn my head and move up the bed so I can reach the nightstand. I open the top drawer and there it is, half a bottle of lube. I just bought it like last week or something and we've already used most of it up.

I pass it to Winn and he pours some into his hand before starting to stroke me again, making sure to spread the lube everywhere.

"Wait, what about prep?" I ask him suddenly remembering that we skipped a step. I hold onto his hips and he grinds against me.

"I'll be fine," he says and he leans down to kiss me. I feel him moving on top of me, trying to position himself as his lips keep on moving against mine.

Then he sits up and he hovers over my dick making sure to align the head with his hole. No prep? We've never done that before, hopefully, it won't hurt.

He starts to lower himself but his body resist and I have to push up to meet him. He's really tight and his muscles squeeze around me once I'm inside of him.

He digs his nails into my chest and he doesn't say anything for a while, he just breaths heavily trying to get used to the size.

"You okay?" I ask him and I place a hand on his back trying to comfort him.

He nods still breathing heavily. "Give me a moment."

So I do. I take one of his hands from my chest and I kiss the back of his hand and then his thumb and eventually down his wrist. He relaxes and he starts rolling his hips.

Once he gets used to it, he slowly moves up and down. I wait for him to create a steady rhythm and then I buckle my hips to meet him halfway.

He groans when I hit his prostate almost straight away. I do it again and he digs his nails into my shoulders. 

He speeds up after a moment, moving faster and rougher and I match his movements. He's not jerking himself off but he starts leaking and precome gathers at the tip. Can he come from me just thrusting into him?

I keep on hitting his prostate, waiting for some sort of reaction and I get it. His cock twitches and I move my hand to stroke him a few times.

He moans from my touch and he bounces on top of me like he just wants to get off. 

"Are you close?" I ask him as I give him one last stroke and then I pull my hand away. He doesn't get to answer because he starts to come and his muscles clench around me. 

"Fuck," he swears and he starts to slow down. I've got his come all over my lower stomach but he doesn't care and he leans down to lay on top of me. He stops moving and I groan in annoyance. 

"I'm tired," he mumbles and I have to take care of myself. I hold onto his hips and he seems happy to just lay there and let me thrust into him. 

He's loose so it's much easier to thrust into him now. I keep going but not too rough to hurt him, I know he's sensitive. I feel my cock twitch and I'm pretty sure he does too because he moans softly.

I throw my head back and let myself come inside of him as I slowly ride it out. We stay like that for a moment, me not pulling out of him and him just laying there, nuzzling into my neck

He doesn't want to move so I lightly push him off making sure to gently pull out of him. "Wait, let me go get a towel," I say and he tries to pull me back but I don't feel like laying in a puddle of our come. 

I walk across the hallway naked because no one is home anyway and I come back with one of the towels.

"Here," I say and I throw the towel on top of him after making sure to wipe myself down. He uses it to wipe himself off and then he throws it onto the floor.

He rubs his hands up and down his face and I know that he's tired and probably wants to go to sleep. I get into bed beside him and I pull the covers over us. He immediately moves to hug me. and he buries his face into my shoulder.

"Can we sleep now?" he mumbles and I ruffle his hair. It's shorter now, he got his haircut yesterday. I kind of miss the curls.

"Sure," I say and he's already falling asleep in my arms.

***

"Hey, I think someone's back," Winston mumbles sleepily and he nudges me awake but he makes no attempt to get his head off my chest. 

I hear my mom's voice and laughter coming from the living room and I push Winn's head away. He turns on his side and starts cuddling the pillow instead. But at least I can get out of bed and get dressed. 

My mom is in the living room with some guy I've never seen before and it looks like they're... Flirting? Ew.

"Mom?"

They turn their heads to stare at me coming out from the hallway. Mom smiles at me and then she licks her lips.

"Monty, this is our new neighbour, Mr Reid," my mom says and I just stare at her. And I care why exactly?

"Please, call me Spencer," he says and he holds out his hand for me to shake. Why is he introducing himself? And why is he flirting with my mom? He looks young enough to be her son. He could be my fucking brother. 

I shake his hand and he grins at me. I bet I look confused as fuck. 

It's really awkward, both of them just standing there and smiling at me, me just staring back at them like an idiot.

To make things worse, Winn comes out from my room only wearing boxers and one of my shirts that barely manages to cover him up. 

He doesn't seem to realise that we're being watched by my mom and a shady neighbour. He just rubs his eyes and walks over to wrap his arms around me from behind.

My mom and Spencer just awkwardly stare at me and I'm not sure if I should introduce him or if this guy just came in for a cup of tea and instead he's meeting his neighbour's son's boyfriend.

"Erm, this is Winston," I say and Winston doesn't even try to introduce himself. He just buries his nose into my shoulder making everything even more awkward. "And... we're gonna leave now."

I turn around and I start pushing Winn back towards my room. I practically have to drag him along with me because he's too tired to walk. Or maybe he can't walk.

"That wasn't weird at all," I say once we're back into my room and Winn still clings onto me like a child. "What's up with you? Why'd you leave?"

He sighs into my chest. "I just missed you."

I don't reply but I'm sure he felt my heart skip a beat. That should be enough of a reply. 

Winn's parents aren't home. They stayed over at his house a lot last week and now this week they've barely seen him for five minutes. I think it's something to do with Winn's grandad. He needs physiotherapy because the stroke affected his movement.

"Do you want to stay over?" I ask him. No one's waiting for him back at home and we both sleep better with each other. I doubt my mom will turn him away, she loves him. 

"Yes, please," he says and then he looks up at me and mouths those three little words that he's been using quite excessively lately.

He's becoming very clingy but I don't mind it.

***

"I don't know, okay?" I groan and Scott shakes his head at me in mock disappointment. He's still waiting for an answer. "Erm... The cervix?"

We're sitting in the cafeteria, revising for a biology test that we have in about ten minutes. Apparently I'm going to fail it because the guys burst out laughing.

"Oh, come on. Give me a pass, I'm gay," I say and Scott rolls his eyes. It's easy for him to judge me while he has the flashcards with the answers in his hands. I'm pretty sure Estella made them for him too, I recognise her handwriting.

"It's the uterus you idiot," Scott informs me and then he turns to another flashcard. It's not like I need to know that, I'm not planning on getting any woman pregnant.

"Okay," Scott continues and Diego, Charlie and Luke quieten down to listen to the question. Charlie doesn't even need to be here but he has no other friends to sit with. "Which of the following is _not_ a function of an epithelial-"

"Oh, are you practising for the biology test?" someone interrupts and I recognise the voice because I've been hearing it a lot lately. Elio.

The guys like him obviously, he's funny and easy to tease and he's good at baseball. They like him. 

"Yeah, do you wanna join?" Diego asks him but Elio shakes his head.

"No, I've already got that covered," Elio tells us and that's one thing I've noticed about him, he does well in school. Unlike Winn. "I was just hoping to talk to Monty for a-"

"What about?" Scott asks before Elio can even finish his sentence. Scott knows about me and Elio and he also knows that Elio's trying to worm himself in between me and Winn.

Elio looks at me and then back at Scott. "Just baseball stuff," Elio says with a shrug.

"You can talk to me, come on," Scott says as he stands up and passes his flashcards to Charlie.

Elio looks uncomfortable. "I was hoping-"

"Monty's busy," Scott says sternly and he starts to push Elio away from our table. "So what did you wanna talk about?"

I can't hear the rest of their conversation but I bet Elio has to make something up on the spot because it wasn't Scott he was hoping to talk to.

I should just have a talk with him and tell him that I'll never be interested. That should solve everything.

***

It's everywhere now. The pink hearts, the posters, Valentine's Day shit literally hanging from every corner.

It's hard to escape it especially when someone hugs you from behind while you're at your locker and holds a Valentine's card in front of your face.

Winn's head is on my shoulder and I can't help but grin when I read the message inside the card.

_"Will you be the best boyfriend ever (once again) and be my Valentine?"_

_PS: Pick me up at seven for the dance :)_

"So?" Winn asks for my answer and I sigh.

"Where's the option to say no?" I ask him and he rolls his eyes. "Of course it's a yes but... Thought you said school dances were lame?"

He let's go of me and I turn around to face him. He shrugs. "Doesn't mean I don't want to go."

Yeah but a school dance? Really? That's how he wants to spend our first Valentine's Day together?

"We could go out instead," I offer just so he knows I'm down to do anything. As long as it's with him.

He shakes his head. "I want to go to the dance."

He sounds like he's made his mind up. "You sure?"

"Mhm, I wanna dance with you," Winn says and he wraps his arms around my neck. "And not in an empty classroom where no one can see us."

Ouch. Did he really have to bring that up? But I guess he's right, it would be nice to dance without having to hide for once.

"Alright," I say and he grins like I just told him that he won the lottery. "But can you please not wear that black shirt? It's really hard to take off."

Winn's cheeks turn slightly pink and he bites down on his bottom lip. "Okay," he says quietly. "But you can't wear those black jeans either."

I frown. "Why?" There's nothing wrong with them and they're my favourite jeans.

Winston shrugs. "I hate them. They always hurt when they rub against my thighs."

So we've got a dress code now. Okay.

***

I feel stupid picking Winston up in my old car when his car is so much nicer. But he wanted me to pick him up and he obviously doesn't care what type of car I drive because he grins at me the whole way to the school.

He's not wearing the black shirt, just a black turtleneck under a jean jacket.

I was hoping to just wear a flannel shirt and button it up but Estella stared me down until I gave in and let her choose my outfit. A simple white collared shirt that was supposed to look formal but I've already undone the top two buttons and the sleeves are rolled up to my forearms.

Winn didn't say much on the ride over, he just kept on glancing at me and then back at the window like he wanted to tell me something.

Tyler is stood by the entrance doors with his cameras and asking couples to pose for a picture. I'm not doing that shit.

I try to walk past with my head down but Winston grabs my elbow and tries to pull me back.

"Hey, I want a picture!" he tells me and he tries to drag me back to the line where people are waiting to have their photo taken in front of the deep red backdrop. Cheap.

"Oh, come on. I can just take one on my phone and it'll turn out much better," I try to protest but Winn is already guiding us to the back of the line.

I'm nervous, to say the least. I don't want to pose with my boyfriend while so many people watch and Tyler Down takes a picture. Most of the people here saw Winn sit on my lap at lunch but this is different, that was natural and I didn't have to try to look good.

"You okay?" Winn asks me and his hand finds mine. He squeezes tight.

"Fine," I say because I don't wanna ruin this for him, we don't have that many pictures together.

He has tons of pictures of me sleeping and I have more than enough pictures of him eating or doing homework or watching TV. We don't have many pictures with both of us in them probably because we both hate being in pictures.

Once we reach the front of the line, Winn guides me forward by taking my hand and we pose in front of the backdrop. He wraps my arms around his waist and he puts his hands on my shoulders. I feel so uncomfortable but I do my best to smile.

Everyone's looking at me, I'm looking more awkward than ever and Tyler Down is there asking us if we wanna kiss. He's not making anything better.

But then Winn leans in and kisses me for the picture in front of everyone. My hands stay on his hips but he brings his hands up to touch my face.

"Okay, that was great," Tyler tells us and we get the hint that he wants us to move on.

Winn doesn't let go of my hand once we get through the doors inside and we look around at all the lights and the valentine's decor.

"Wow, they really went all out, huh?" Winn says and he walks us over to the table with food. It's not as bad as I thought it would be.

"It's alright," I say and I start pouring myself a drink as Winn observes the people dancing.

"Hey, there's Charlie! I'll go say hi," Winn tells me and he leaves me to it.

Surprisingly, Charlie took Elio to the dance. Or the other way around, I'm not really sure. They look cute together, definitely better this way.

Winn talks and laughs with Charlie while Elio stays back and looks around awkwardly. His eyes meet mine and when they do, he smiles and gives me a small wave.

I don't wave back.

***

Winn is currently dancing with Scott because I'm taking a break by the bleachers. That boy doesn't get tired, he's been dancing with me all night and he stills keeps going. Luckily Scott was kind enough to step in for me.

It's not even a slow song but Scott keeps on twirling Winn around and slow dancing with him. He winks at me every time he looks my way.

"They're cute together," Estella says. She's sat with me, sipping her drink because she also needs a break from her boyfriend.

"We have good taste," I say and Estella grins. I think I've gotten used to the idea of her dating Scott. It's a bit weird but I'm over it.

The song's gonna end soon and Winn is gonna come over and try to get me to dance with him again. My legs hurt just at the thought.

We haven't slow danced yet because there was no opportunity to and I'm still nervous that I'll fuck something up.

"And here they come again," Estella sighs once the songs changes to a slow song. The first slow song of the night. Winn immediately looks over at me.

He doesn't even have to walk over, I stand up myself and he waits for me on the dance floor.

"I think we're wanted on the dance floor," I tell Estella and I hold my hand out to her. She takes it and we walk down the bleachers and to the dance floor together.

I pass Estella over to Scott and he smiles at me before whisking my sister away to the opposite side of the hall.

Winston is smiling too as I approach him and I take his hand in mine.

"Do you remember or do you need me to lead again?" he asks after placing his other hand on my shoulder.

"I remember," I tell him as I start leading us, Winn just moves with me like this is natural. I could never forget that time we danced at the Winter Formal.

How stupid was I to think that was goodbye?

"You know... I never thought I'd see the day you'd dance with me in public. Slow dance even," Winn says and he let's go of my hand and places it on my other shoulder. My hands are firmly on his waist.

"I never thought I'd do any of the things I've done with you," I tell him because it's true. Last year I wouldn't even have dreamed of letting a guy paint my nails or even letting him put a face mask on me.

Winn smiles proudly and he brings his face closer to mine so that our foreheads are almost touching.

"This is perfect," he whispers so that only I can hear. He sighs and then he puts his head on my shoulder.

"If you think this is perfect... wait till prom," I tell him and I rub his back.

He lets out something that sounds like a chuckle and then he buries his face further into my neck. We continue dancing, just swaying to the music and when the song is coming to an end, Winn pulls away and his eyes are watery. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask him and I bring my hands up to his face. He tries to laugh but then a tear spills from his eyes.

"Nothing," he says and then he leans in and kisses me. My thumb moves in a circular motion across his cheek and our noses brush together as he presses his lips against mine. 

He keeps kissing me long after the song changes, his hands press into my back pulling me even closer to him. It reminds me of the Winter Formal. But this is much better because this time it doesn't mean goodbye...

***

Winn said he needed to talk about something. And we're back in the frog room again, it's like our safe place.

"What is it?" I ask him as I take my seat on one of the tables. I thought he just wanted to make out but he looks serious. As the night goes on, he's slowly becoming more and more... Sad? I hope I haven't done anything wrong.

"I... " he begins and he stands opposite me not even bothering to sit down. His eyes are cast downwards so I can't look him in the eye. "I'm sorry that I'm just telling you about this now but I... I didn't know how to tell you before."

My stomach twist and my throat turns dry. I don't like where this is going. Fuck, is this about Lucas?

"I... My parents... They..."

"It's okay," I say calmly but I'm anything but. If he's this scared to tell me then it must be serious. "You can tell me anything."

He nods but he still won't look me in the eye. "I'm not gonna get into Princeton," Winn says quietly. "It'll be a miracle if I manage to get into any respectable college at all."

I want to remind him that he's Winston Williams and his family has connections everywhere, he'll get into college one way or another but I don't want to interrupt him.

"Erm, Liberty doesn't have the best reputation," Winn says awkwardly and I really don't like where I think this is heading. "And my parents think it's best if I go back to..."

I stare at him. "You're going back to Hillcrest?"

Hillcrest. I mean, it's not as close as Liberty but it won't be impossible to see him. I could still manage to see him every day. I won't see him in school but I can still drive over to his house and he to mine.

But he shakes his head. "Not Hillcrest," he says and then he sighs and looks up at me. "They're sending me away."

I blink because I can't do anything more. I can't move a muscle. "What do you mean they're 'sending you away'?"

Winn bites his bottom lip and looks to the side so he won't have to look at me as he breaks my heart.

"I mean... Boarding school. I'm going to boarding school." he tells me and just feel a sharp pain in my chest. "It's... It's better for all of us. They said. They can focus on-on grandad and I can focus on school work and-"

"Have long have you know?" I say through clenched teeth because something doesn't add up.

"What?"

"How long. Have you known." I repeat pausing in between. Winston looks guilty.

"A few weeks," he says reluctantly and he licks his lips nervously. "I wanted to tell you but-"

"Why _didn't_ you?" A few weeks? Yes known for weeks and he's just telling me now? He's known all this time and instead of telling me so I could spend more time with him, he let me just get on with my life and treat useless baseball practices like they were more important than him? How could he?

Winn takes a step closer to me. "I didn't want you to-to treat me differently," he says and his face starts to crumble. "I just thought... Maybe if we acted like I wasn't going away then... I was-I thought my parents might change their mind once grandad starts getting better but they-"

I shake my head in disbelief and I look away. I don't even want to look at him anymore. "So you're leaving," I conclude and I nod slowly. He might be leaving but he's still here. I need to make the most of it. "When?"

He doesn't answer.

" _When?"_ I repeat louder and he breaths in sharply.

"Monty-"

"I fucking said 'when'!" I get off the table and I stand in front of him. How long do I have left with him? A week? A month? There's still so much shit we haven't done.

"Tomorrow," he says quietly and I'm not even sure if I've heard him correctly at first but then he says it again and my legs start to feel weak. 

"Fuck," I say under my breath and I take a step back. My stomach drops. Tomorrow? That's not even... Not even a full day that we have left together.

He's leaving me. And I'm gonna be alone again.

I don't realise that I'm still taking steps backwards until Winn reaches out to stop me.

"Monty, don't leave," he begs me. "Please, I don't want you to leave."

" _You're_ the one who's fucking leaving," I say and I point a finger at him. It's _him_ that ruining this. It's his fault. He should have fucking told me.

"Can we talk about this?" Winston says and he runs a hand through his hair.

"I think I'm done talking," I say and I start walking towards the door. I open it and walk out before he can stop me.

He shouts something after me but I don't hear it, the noise of me banging the door shut drowns him out.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten attached. I knew that I'd just end up hurting myself in the end and yet I still gave him all of me because I thought we were going to last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay im sorry and yes, there is going to be another chapter today just a bit later so watch out for that  
> let me know what you think and if you want to scream at me, feel free to go on my Instagram, i love reading your comments :)


	9. The Jacket and The Necklace

**Chapter Nine**

Estella keeps on knocking on my door but I don't bother answering. I just pull the covers over my head hoping that she'll get the hint.

"Monty! You're gonna need to get out of there someday!" she shouts from behind the door but she doesn't come in and I don't respond. She goes away a moment later and I'm left in peace once again.

I try to get some sleep. I just wanna sleep through this day and then I can go back to my life tomorrow. If I'm sleeping, I can't get the urge to text him or go see him. Maybe he already left. 

And I didn't even fucking say goodbye to him.

No, I can't blame myself. It's his fucking fault for lying to me. He should have told me.

And I can't fall asleep because I just lay there regretting not reacting differently when he told me. But I just couldn't think properly when I found out. It was too much for me.

" _Montyy_!" Estella shouts and she knocks on my door again. It must be only half an hour after she knocked last time.

"Fuck off!" I shout after pulling the sheet off my head.

"Winston's here to see you!" she shouts back and my heart skips a beat at the mention of his name. So he hasn't left after all. And he's here to talk to me. But he shouldn't have come. Unless he's here to tell me that he's staying, I don't wanna listen to him.

"He can fuck off too!" I shout back and I hear Estella sigh from outside my room. I need him to know that I'm pissed off at him, he can't just waltz in here and make me forgive him. 

Am I wasting my possibly last moments with him just to prove a point? Yes.

"He says he needs to talk to you!" Estella shouts and I'm surprised that she hasn't burst in through the door yet. 

I don't respond. I just bury my face in my pillow that's slightly damp from last night. 

Winston tried to stop me from running away last night and maybe if I wasn't stupid I would have stayed and we could have at least spent the rest of the night together. But instead, I just got into my car and I drove home.

The door finally opens and I groan before taking my head out from under the duvet. "I told you to fucking-"

But it's not Estella walking in. It's Winn. 

He looks like he hasn't stopped crying since last night when I left him. His eyes are red and puffy and when they meet with mine, his face starts to crumble and his eyes turn watery.

I almost hold my arms towards him but then I remember that I'm mad at him and pulling him into bed with me sort of sends the wrong signal. 

"Hey..." he says quietly and I lay back down and turn away from him. I want to ask him how long he's got left and when he's leaving but instead, I turn away from him and I ignore him.

"Monty..."

"Get out." 

I don't want him to go, I want him to stay and tell me that he's not going anywhere like I've done for him many times before. All he had to do was ask and I didn't hesitate to stay with him.

He doesn't listen to me. The mattress sinks as he sits down on it and seconds later, he tries to hug me from behind. I shove him away from me and I move even further away.

"Don't push me away," he says and his voice breaks. I don't turn around to look at him.

"I don't want to see you," I tell him. I pull the duvet up to my chin and I close my eyes. Winn stays right where he is and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"You're still my boyfriend," he reminds me and he holds his breath as he waits for me to respond. I could end it right here and now with just a few words. But I can't do it.

I exhale through my nose and I bite my bottom lip in order to stop myself from letting out a sob. He's the only boy - no, the only _person_ I've ever cried over.

"And I still love you," Winn continues once I say nothing. My lip quivers and I exhale. I don't want him to see me like this but he's even more of a mess than I am. I can't keep this up.

"I don't want you to leave," I tell him and I bury my face into the pillow to hide the tear that falls down my cheek.

" _I_ don't want to leave," he says and he wraps his arms around me. He presses his faces against my back and I can't do this anymore. I turn my body to face him and I wrap my arms around him instead. 

He doesn't waste any time. He crawls on top of me and wraps his arms around my neck. I don't think I've ever held anyone tighter. 

One of my arms stays wrapped around his waist but I move the other one to tangle my fingers into the hair at the back of his head. He presses his face into my shoulder and I can hear the sobs that he's trying to silence.

"We'll make it work. I know we will," he tells me in between sobs but I don't know if I'm as sure as he is.

Boarding school. When will we have time to see each other? Once every month? Once every _few_ months? Do we have to put all our faith in phone calls and text messages to stay together?

Fuck. How is this meant to work? I was going crazy when I stopped living with him and seeing him 24/7. 

I'm used to seeing him every day, at school and then after school. I'm used to falling asleep and waking up with him almost every day. He can't leave.

"When do you leave?" I ask him and I move my thumb over the nape of his neck in a circular motion. He relaxes.

"Um... My parents, they're waiting downstairs. I just said I needed to... To see you," he tells me.

So he's really leaving. I swallow hard and this time I can't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I hate fucking crying and I hate that he has to be here to see this. But he's crying too and that somehow makes this less embarrassing.

I can't believe I've wasted my last moments with him just because I needed to be petty. I'll never forgive myself.

He eventually pulls away and he lays down next to me. His cheeks are tear-stained, his nose red and his lips puffy.

"I-I got you something," he tells me and he reaches into his pocket. He got me something? I sigh and I throw my head back. I've never felt this bad in my entire life.

He hands me a silver chain necklace and I just stare at it. He got me a necklace?

But then he rolls his sleeve up and shows me a bracelet around his wrist. It's a string kind of bracelet with a silver bear pendant on it. It's from the necklace I bought for him at the carnival. 

I press my lips together and I just stare at the chain. He can't... This is really happening.

"Winn..."

"Can I?" he asks and he unclasps the necklace. I lift my head from the pillow and he clasps the necklace behind my neck. The chain feels cold against my skin and I start breathing heavily.

I keep my eyes focused on the ceiling and he plays with the necklace touching my chest.

"So..."

"So."

I know that he's probably meant to be going back to his parents but I don't want him to leave. I wish he could just stay right here.

"It's only about three hours away," Winn tells me and I don't want to listen to this but he continues. "I have weekends off or something like that so maybe we could still see each other and obviously I'd call every day and-"

"Stop," I say quietly and he presses his lips together. I don't want to talk about this right now. I get out from under the duvet and I head towards my built-in closet.

Winn stays on the bed as he watches me look through piles of clothes that I haven't bothered to fold. I'm looking for something to give to him, something to get him to remember me by just in case he ever starts to forget.

I find my varsity jacket. The one he washed, the one that was once stained with my blood. I hold it up to my face and I sigh. I'm ready to part with it.

I throw it over to Winn who is sat on my bed. "For you."

He catches the jacket before it hits the floor and then he holds it in his hands like it's the best thing he's ever gotten. "Thank you," he says quietly and then he sighs. "My parents are pr-"

"Is there really nothing I can do to make you stay?" I ask him and he looks away. I'm stalling. I know I am. But I just don't want to let him go. 

"You know that if it was up to me I'd stay," Winn says quietly and he shifts his foot uncomfortably. 

I stay standing by my closet and Winn stands up and walks over to me. He leaves the jacket on my bed.

"Promise me you'll-Hey! Monty, look at me," he says when I turn my head away. He cups my chin and turns my head to face him. "Promise me you'll stay in touch."

Do I really have a choice? How is this fucking fair? Things finally get in order and we're okay for once and then... Why does stupid bullshit keep on getting in the way?

"Monty... We'll make it work. I promise," he says. He gives up on waiting for a response and he wraps his arms around me. I hug him back after a few seconds and I kiss him on the top of his head. 

"Just a few months and then college," I say but it's mostly to myself to convince myself that we can do it.

"Exactly," Winn says and he nuzzles into my shoulder. "A few months and then we can do whatever we want. We can even go to the same college and we can..."

"Be together," I finish for him and I was hoping for him to continue but instead he starts sobbing again and his tears fall onto my bare shoulder. "Hey, it's okay."

"I'm so fucking scared," he tells me and he lets out a shaky breath. He can't be doing this, him believing in this working out is the only thing that's making me believe in it too. 

"It'll be okay," I say and I rub his back up and down. 

"What if... What if it doesn't work out?" Winn asks me and he pulls away to look me in the eye. "What if... What if something happens and..."

"You can't think about that," I tell him and suddenly I seem to be the one who's keeping both of us in check. 

Winn looks down at his feet and he starts chewing on his bottom lip. "I won't know anyone there. And what if I can't make any friends?"

I know it's mean but I'm kind of hoping he won't make any friends. Then he'll have to talk to me and he can't go around falling for some other guy. My stomach twists at the very thought. 

I don't answer and Winn sighs. "Walk me downstairs?"

I look up and it finally hits me. He's really going to be gone in a few minutes.

"You can't fucking leave me," I tell him with glassy eyes and he bites his lip to stop himself from falling apart again.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be. Please?" Winn says and he cards his fingers through his hair making it even messier. 

But there's nothing easy about this. How can I just let him walk out of here knowing that I won't see him for God knows how long?

"When can I see you again?" I ask him and he shrugs awkwardly.

"We'll... We'll work that out later," he says and he looks around my room. I can see the realisation hit him, this might be the last time he's standing in my room for a long while. He smiles sadly to himself and he looks down at his feet again. "So... erm."

He has to go. We both know that and denying it isn't doing us any good.

"I'll walk you down," I tell him and he nods.

We try to stall as long as possible, I make a show of having to wash my teeth, finding a shirt and some joggers and Winn helps by clinging onto me the whole way through. His lips are already swollen from the number of times I've stopped doing whatever I was doing to kiss him.

We didn't speak for the entire time and we didn't speak in the elevator. We didn't say a word as we walked down through the hallway together. I can see his parents standing outside, shifting uncomfortably and glancing at the watches on their wrists. 

I stop by the doors once we're outside. Winn's parents see us and they get back to their car obviously not wanting to interrupt us.

Winn is wearing my jacket and he puts his hands in his pockets,

"So this is it," I say and Winn rolls his eyes.

"Don't say that," he says. "We're not breaking up." 

But it sure does feel like it.

I just pull him into my chest for a hug and he wraps his arms around my middle. We say like that for a minute and then he pulls away to kiss me. His hand starts caressing the side of my face and I hate how much this feels like goodbye. I hate all of this.

"I'll call when I'm there?" he says and I nod. "And you better answer."

"I will," I say and I try to laugh but it comes out strained and it just makes me feel sick. "And text me every day, alright?" He nods. "And if anyone's bothering you, you tell me and I'll beat the fuck out of them, okay?"

I might be joking, I might not be. Winn laughs either way. "Mhm," he says and his face starts to crumble again. "You're still my boyfriend, right?"

"Of course," I say and I'm glad that he knows that. If anyone tries anything on him... He knows that he's mine. 

"And you're not mad at me?" Winn asks and my eyebrows furrow. 

"Fuck off, how could I be mad at you?" I say and I place my hand on his neck and pull him in to kiss me again. It's aggressive like I'm trying to have him for the last time. I pull him in as close as I can and our noses press against each other. 

When we pull away, we're both breathless. He rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. "I love you," he says quietly and he kisses me once again.

"I love you too," I say and my voice breaks. 

Slowly, his hand leaves my hip and my hand slips away from the back of his neck. He takes a few steps back but he keeps on holding onto my hand.

I hold his hand as tightly as I can even when he moves further away. Eventually, his fingers slip away from mine and he turns around and power walks towards his car.

He doesn't look back but I stare at him until he gets into the car. I stay standing there long after the car leaves. I stay there long after I give up hoping that the car will return and he'll come back to me. 

I just stay there.

***

"All I'm saying is that it's not that hard to change your identity," Benji tells me over the phone. I've had about fifty missed calls from him since last night. He knew about Winn moving away but he didn't tell me because, as always, he promised to keep Winn's secret.

"I'm not gonna change my identity and move to Mexico with Winn," I groan and I throw my head back against the pillow. I've moved the bed, it's pressed against the wall now. It's not like anyone else will be sleeping in it with me any time soon.

"No one said anything about Mexico," Benji says trying to make a joke. He can usually lift my mood but I'm too pissed off to even attempt to laugh. "You're making plans yourself, that's-"

"Benji, I'm not laughing," I interrupt him. I had to call Benji, I don't want to tell Estella what happened even though I'm sure that she already knows because I told Scott. Scott tried to help but it wasn't very useful, he's never been in this situation.

Benji sighs suddenly turning serious. "Yeah, sorry. I just don't really know what to say or do to make it better, you know?" he says and I stare at the ceiling. "I'm sorry about all of it. And if it means anything, I did try to talk Winn's parents out of it."

I smile to myself. Of course, Benji would do that. "Thanks."

I know Winn's parents mean well, they want him to go to a good college and get a good education and it'll be much easier for him to do that in boarding school. No distractions. No Monty. Am I his distraction? Is this my fault?

"Maybe if Winston fails a few tests in protest they'll have no choice but to pull him out of there," Benji says and he's not joking. "Or he could just get himself excluded. Liberty would welcome him back with open arms."

Benji's not wrong, Winn could get himself excluded and then he would be back here with me. But once again, it puts his future at risk and I don't want to do that. 

Maybe it'll be good for us, I'll focus on school and then we'll be together again in college. It could bring us closer. If we make it through this.

"Hold on, I think I got a text," I tell Benji and I check my phone. It's from Winn.

_Hey, sorry it took so long. Traffic :(_

_I know I said I'd call but I'm tired so many later?_

_Moving in now so can't text._

_Love you._

He can't even spare some time for a quick call? He's been gone for about four hours, how are we meant to survive five months of this?


	10. Miles Away

**Chapter Ten**

Scott and Charlie are walking on eggshells around me.

I've already managed to snap at Charlie and I 'accidentally' pushed some freshman in the parking lot.

This whole boarding school thing isn't just new to me, it's new to Winn too. He has to hand his phone in at six in the morning and he doesn't get it back until six in the evening. Which means that I haven't spoken to him all day and I won't until six. It's all so fucking annoying.

Charlie's still new to the baseball team, we don't have practice today but we're staying back just to practice some batting with him. Diego is invited too so it's just gonna be the three of us and Scott. Scott the captain.

It's been about five minutes and I'm already bored out of my mind. How hard is it just to hit a ball with a bat?

Scott is giving pointers to Charlie while I sit at the side and watch. I constantly glance at my phone as if by magic Winn will get his phone back early and text me.

I just need to talk to him. Fuck. He's allowed out of the school premises on weekends so I could drive over there and meet up with him. So we could see each other two days a week, that could work for us. Right?

Scott is losing his patience with Charlie. It's not very clear just by looking at him but his voice changes when he's annoyed. I should know by now.

Charlie is new at this, Scott should give him a break. It's not really captain behaviour to start getting frustrated with Charlie.

God, I really fucking wish Winn was here. But instead, I get Diego Charlie Scott and... Elio? What the hell is he doing here?

He looks around the sports hall nervously and I raise an eyebrow. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I ask him and he glances at Diego and then at me.

"Er, Diego said I could come and practice with you guys," he tells me and stays where he is like he's waiting for my permission. Of course, Diego did, he's like obsessed with Elio.

"Right," I say and I look away. He reminds me too much of Winn, I can't look at him. So he leaves me to it, walks over to Diego and picks up a bat to start batting.

Scott lets me sit around and do nothing for about ten more minutes and then he calls me over. I've given up waiting for Winston to text me, there are hours left until he gets his phone back.

"Charlie's gonna rest for a few minutes now so you can-" 

"Yeah, yeah. I got it," I interrupt Scott and I pick up the bat. Scott guides Charlie over to the bench, he's new at this so it's best not to overwork him.

Elio is batting between me and Diego and he's doing a better job than any of us. I could do better but I can't be bothered and I'm too tired to.

I just stand there for a few seconds watching Elio swing and hit the ball. With him on our team, we could actually have a chance at this thing.

"Nice," I say and I swing to hit the ball coming my way. Elio looks shocked that I'm even talking to him, he does a double-take and then he smiles.

"Thanks," he says and then he swings again. Maybe he really does just want to play baseball.

***

As soon as I got home, I was waiting for a text from Winn. I had to wait about half an hour until he texted me.

"So how was school?" I ask. I'm on my bed, he's on his own bed and this isn't what I want but it's better than texting. At least I can see his face while facetiming.

He shrugs. "Alright." He looks exhausted. His hair is a mess, he hasn't smiled once and he's got dark circles under his eyes.

He's not making any attempt to carry on the conversation. And yes, it's annoying but I'm giving him a pass because I know that he must hate it there.

"So how are you doing?" I ask him and I awkwardly scratch my head. He could at least pretend to be happy to be talking to me. 

"Okay," he says, he sighs and looks away. I have to keep reminding myself that he's just tired. But I've been waiting all day to talk to him and now he's just upsetting me.

"What about your roommate? What's he like?" I ask and I press my lips together. Is he straight or gay? Do you think he's attractive? Has he been nice to you? 

"He's alright," Winn replies and he's not even looking at the screen. "He plays on some sports team so he's not gonna be back for a while."

An athlete? I want to ask more about him but Winn changes the topic.

"I miss you," he tells me and I practically melt inside. So he's not forgotten about me yet, good to know.

"Miss you too," I say and then he smiles for the first time. "You said you have weekends off, right?" He nods. "Do you think we could meet up? For the weekend? I'd drive over there, we can meet up where you want."

Winn considers it for a second and then he grins. "Alright. Yeah. I'd really like that."

We spend a few more minutes planning on meeting up and the Winn changes the topic again. I think he has a busy schedule there or something, it's like he wants to fit ten different conversations in one.

"How's baseball going?" Winston asks me and my first instinct is to tell him ho good Elio is at batting but I don't think that's appropriate right now.

"They made Scotty captain," I tell him and I try to sound as happy as I can but it's hard. I know I said that I'd be happy with Scott being captain but Winn was right, I really wanted this.

"Oh," he says. "And you're okay with that?" He can obviously see that I'm not, but am I willing to waste our time together to rant about Scott and baseball?

"Yeah. Whatever, right?" I say and Winston nods like he understands what I'm trying to say. There are so many things I want to talk to him about but nothing really comes out of my mouth.

Then I hear a noise like a door opening and Winston immediately looks panicked. 

"Hey, Winnie! So I'm back from-"

"I gotta go," Winn says quickly and then he hangs up on me a second later. 

Winnie? What the fuck?

***

This week has been the worst one yet. I fucking hate everything. Everything is pissing me off but tomorrow morning I'm setting off to meet Winn and we can spend the weekend together. Everything will be alright.

Winn's explained to me that it was his roommate interrupting our call. He doesn't want him to know that he's gay because apparently the boarding school guys aren't very accepting. I'm still uneasy though.

Estella is laying on my bed and Scott is spinning around in my desk chair as they watch me pack. We're going to be together for a full weekend, I'll need a few clothes.

"Are you driving over there?" Scott asks me and I nod.

"Yeah, the train would take like half as long," I explain. I have it all planned out. Which hotel we're staying at, what we're gonna be doing, where we're gonna be eating. I'm paying for everything, I've got some money saved up and Estella is letting me borrow some of hers so I can afford the hotel. 

Estella has a job and I don't, I wouldn't even have time with all the time I spend on school and sports.

Scott sighs and he leans back in my chair. "So are you gonna stop being an asshole to everyone after you see him?" I guess I have been slightly meaner than usual. It wasn't on purpose but I focused on every annoying little thing that happened around me because I didn't have Winn to focus on.

I roll my eyes at him but he's grinning. He's just teasing me, he and Charlie have been giving me a pass all week but I know I have to get my shit together before one of them gets fed up with me.

Speaking of Charlie... "Where's Charlie?" I ask and I look at the door to my bedroom. "Wasn't he supposed to be here like half an hour ago?" We invited Charlie along too, we almost always do. But he's starting to bail and spend less time with us. I think Alex leaving him for Zach kind of fucked him up.

Scott looks confused too, he pulls his phone out and starts tapping on the screen, probably texting Charlie. So I turn to Estella who's taking the clothes I put into my backpack out and folding them properly before putting them back in. 

"Hey, I had it all organised in there," I tell her and she raises an eyebrow. Okay, maybe not _organised_ but I knew where what was.

"You'll have more space now," Estella tells me and she smiles like she's doing me a favour.

"Charlie's not answering and it goes straight to voicemail when I call," Scott tells us and he puts his phone away. Maybe we should start worrying, Charlie is usually always on time. 

"Give him a few more minutes, I'm sure he'll be here soon," I say. So we go back to talking about Winn and what it's like at his boarding school. I give vague answers because that's all Winn's given me. I really don't know what's happening over there. 

"Has he made any friends yet? What about his roommate?" Scott asks me but luckily I don't have to answer the question as Charlie comes into my room. We all stare at him and he looks away.

"Erm, sorry. I lost track of time," he says and I frown. Lost track of time? That doesn't sound like Charlie at all. But I let it go and he sits down next to Estella on the bed.

"Getting ready for your weekend out with Winston?" Charlie asks and he raises his eyebrows playfully.

I roll my eyes. Okay so it's only been a week since I last saw him but he got me so used to fucking and seeing him so many times a week that I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms. 

I'm about to tell Charlie to fuck off but Scott glances at my desk where my phone is buzzing and he reaches over and hands it over to me. "It's Winston," he says and I take the phone from him reluctantly. I hope he's just calling to check in.

So I take the phone from Scott and I walk out into the hallway so they don't listen in to our conversation.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask him straight after answering. I sit down on the floor with my back against the wall and I wait for an answer.

"Hey..." He says and I already don't like the tone of his voice. I'm excited to be talking to him and here he is sounding all sad again. Can't his parents see that he's much happier with me?

"Wh-Why are you calling?" I ask him when he doesn't say anything else for a minute. I start playing with a loose thread on my ripped jeans. "We're still on for tomorrow, right?"

He sighs. No, fuck. Don't fucking do this. I start biting my nail, something I haven't done in ages. 

"I'm actually calling 'cos... Erm," he says awkwardly and I can just imagine him chewing on his lip. "Maybe we could reschedule to next weekend instead?" I press my lips together and I blink a few times. Does he not understand that I've waited a whole fucking week for this? He can't just cancel on me.

"Why?" I know I sound mad but can you blame me? Just yesterday he was as excited to see me as I was to see him. And now he's cancelling. 

"It's not because I don't want to see you," he tries to justify himself.

"Then why?" What could possibly make him not want to see me? Did he find someone to replace me already? I clench my fists at the very thought.

"I think I still need some time to move in and weekends are my only time off so..." 

So he'd rather waste time decorating his room than spending time with his boyfriend? Alright then.

"Have fun then," I say and I hang up on him with no hesitation. He immediately calls me again but I decline the call and I put the phone face down on the floor. So Winston either doesn't want to see me or he's lying to me. Why would he lie to me?

I almost pick my phone up and call him again to force him to tell me what's really going on but I decide against it. I'm not going to be able to change his mind, I heard the tone of his voice. 

Why do I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into this?

***

It's Sunday and we're hanging out at Charlie's house. He invited Diego, they're starting to grow closer since they've started playing baseball, and for some reason, Diego felt the need to invite Elio. 

Winston and I have obviously talked since Friday. I'm still kinda pissed off but I'm willing to give him a pass. If he needs more time to adjust to boarding school then so be it. I just don't understand why he doesn't want to facetime for now, he says he prefers calling and texting. 

"Monty, come on! We're getting killed!" Diego shouts at me. I forgot that I was playing with him for a second and that second is enough to get me killed. "Dude... What the hell?"

Diego looks annoyed but fuck him, he doesn't understand that I don't really care about this stupid game right now. So I pass the controller to Scotty and I stand up from the couch.

I didn't realise that Elio was in the kitchen getting something to drink but now we're both in the kitchen and it's not like I can just walk back out.

"Hey," he says uncertainly and he puts the orange juice back into the fridge. Winston hates orange juice.

"Hey," I say and I lean against the counter opposite him. He does the same and he starts to sip his orange juice. "Just needed a break from out there..." I explain and I nod towards the living room where you can hear Diego shouting at Scotty now.

Elio nods. "Right. I heard that it was getting intense," he jokes and I chuckle quietly just to make it less awkward. Then we just stand there in silence like idiots not knowing what to say. I'd prefer it if he just left me in peace but it's not like I can kick him out of Charlie kitchen.

"I heard about your boyfriend," Elio then says getting my attention and I look up. "I'm sorry he had to leave, I hope you two can work it out."

I look down at my feet again. I was expecting Elio to be happy about Winston leaving but it looks like he's over me already and he really is sorry. 

I want it to work too, but Winn is making that difficult.

"Yeah..." I say and Elio puts his glass down on the counter. He licks his lips.

"What? Is something wrong?" he asks me and I contemplate whether I should tell him or not. Scott and Estella think I'm being paranoid and I should just give Winn some time and Charlie thinks it's still a bit overwhelming for Winn and he has to get used to everything first. I don't want him to get used to not having me around.

"I don't know," I say honestly. "He's just... We were supposed to spend the weekend together but he cancelled on me last minute. Elio listens patiently, his head tilted slightly. "I'm just worried that he'll find someone to replace me with, you know?"

Elio smiles at me. "I think it would be impossible to replace Monty de la Cruz," he says but what he thinks doesn't mean anything to me. He clears his throat. "Maybe you should tell him how you feel? Tell him that you're worried he'll find someone else?"

Yeah and then he'll think I'm some insecure little bitch that doesn't trust him and won't let him out of my sight for five minutes. I trust him one hundred percent. It's those boarding school guys that I don't trust around him. He's pretty, he's nice, he's funny and he's just... perfect. I'm sure that sooner or later he'll catch someone's eye.

Elio's still waiting for a response. "Yeah, yeah. You're right," I say but I don't plan on taking his advice. "Thanks, man."

He grins. "Yeah, anytime. We're friends, right?"

Friends? I wouldn't go that far. But we could be friends. It can't hurt to try.

"Right," I say.

***

The saga of me being paranoid continues on Monday. The guys are trying to revise for some maths test at lunch but I don't participate, I reread my text conversations with Winn instead. I sent him about twenty text messages on Sunday evening, he liked all of them but didn't reply to a single one. It's really starting to get on my nerves.

"What do you think, Monty?" Right, I forgot to mention, Elio is hanging out with us now. He has no other friends and Diego the martyr decided to let him tag along again. I think this is going to become permanent very soon. 

Elio is sat in Winn's place and he's leaning towards me, holding his phone in my face. Apparently my opinion matters to him because this is like the fourth guy he's shown me in the past fifteen minutes.

I stare at the picture, a buff guy with a buzz cut and a stubble. "Ew," I say and Elio groans.

"You don't like any of them," he says. He's on some dating app and he's trying to get me to help him find a boyfriend or something. I think it's ridiculous.

"Yeah, 'cos they all look creepy," I tell him and he puts his phone down on the table to listen to me. "This one looks like he'd drive you out to the middle of nowhere and kill you with an axe."

Elio laughs thinking that I'm joking. I'm not. I don't want anything to happen to him, the baseball team needs him.

"Why can't you just date someone normal? Someone from our school maybe?" I offer and his eyes rest on me for a couple of seconds and then he shrugs. I'm sure there are enough gay guys in our school, he'll have to problem getting one of them to date him.

"Hey are you going to that College trip thing?" Scott asks me and I tear my eyes away from Elio and nod. It's close to home but I don't really think I want to go there. Winn's plans include Princeton and Stanford but he told me not to make my choice based on his. So I guess that Sanderson University is still an option.

"I don't think I have a choice," I say and Scott agrees with me. Neither of us wants to go there but Scott has more freedom than me, not being poor and all. 

I always thought that I'd go on this trip with Winn, we'd mess about together knowing that neither of us wanted to go there and he'd make the day less boring. But instead, he's miles away at some boarding school and I'm still stuck here without him.


	11. Pop The Champagne

**Chapter Eleven**

"Did you sleep at _all_ last night?"

Scott is back to his bullshit, looking after me like he's my dad. I'm sure by now Estella has told him that I haven't slept a wink and instead I walked around my room aimlessly while I panicked about what Winston was doing at that wretched boarding school.

I just shake my head and lean my shoulder against the bus because there's no point denying it. I look like shit. This trip isn't helping anything, I'd rather stay at home and sleep. But I wouldn't sleep, I'd just worry about Winn all over again.

They're all giving me pity looks now knowing that whatever's going on has something to do with Winn. Charlie obviously can't go with us but Diego, Scott and Win-I mean Elio are all here. Fuck, I can't even look at Elio without thinking about Winn and whatever he's doing at that school. 

"You should get some sleep on the bus," Scott tells me and he puts his hand on my shoulder and starts pushing me forward as we walk into the bus. 

Sleep here? They're all being loud as fuck, how can anyone fall asleep in this?

We sit near the back of the bus, Scott and me with Diego and Elio sitting in front of us. 

"Have you talked last night?" Scott asks after Bolan gets off the bus telling us to behave and shit like that. Yeah as if I'm gonna behave on this boring trip.

"Mhm." We talk every night. Even if it's just a text message back from him, we still talk. I just need to check up on him.

Scott decides to drop the subject when he sees that I don't particularly enjoy talking about Winn at the moment. I fall asleep on his shoulder and don't wake up until it's time to get off the bus.

I'm still sleepy when we get off and when Clay's father comes over to introduce himself. They split us into two groups and fortunately I stay with the guys.

"Any improvement between you and... Winston?" Elio asks once Scott and Diego leave us behind. Improvement? It's just getting worse. I shake my head. "You should stop worrying, you know? Just let him do whatever and-"

"No, man. I can't do that," I interrupt him. I can't just stop worrying about Winn. No one's advice is helping, I just want him to be here.

"Do you know which boarding school he goes to?" Elio asks me and we continue walking, completely ignoring everything that the tour guide is telling us. 

"Yeah, erm, wait a sec." I pull my phone out to check through the text messages that Winn has sent me. 

"Darwin Academy," Elio says out loud when I show him the text message. "One of my friends goes there." I put my phone back in my pocket. "I could, erm, ask him if he's seen Winn hanging around?"

"You'd do that for me?" It'd be nice to finally know what the fuck is happening over there seeing as Winn won't tell me anything. Elio nods.

"Of course," he says with a grin. "Isn't that what friends are for?"

I'm still getting used to him being my friend.

***

We get a few minutes of free time and Elio drags me over to some bench underneath a tree so we can talk more about Winn. He really wants to help.

"Okay, so I texted my friend," Elio says as we sit down on the bench together. "He obviously won't reply-"

"Until six, yeah I got it," I finish for him and I shake my head. That fucking school, does no one think to bring like an extra phone or something? Can't be that hard to sneak one in. I'll teach Winn how if I have to.

We sit on the bench together, looking straight ahead and all I can do is think about Winn.

"You love him, don't you?" Elio asks and I turn my head.

"Huh? Yeah, of course, I do," I say. How can you _not_ love him? Winn is... He's everything I ever wanted. Which is why I get so fucking worked up just thinking about him with anyone else. 

Elio opens and then closes his mouth. He sighs. "When you and I... At that party..." I'm actually trying to forget about that and I bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from interrupting. "Were you trying to get over him back then?"

Fuck. I forgot how fucked up Winn had me back then. That wasn't even the worst of it, Elio hasn't seen anything. But Scott and Charlie were through it all watching me lay in my own vomit and sit in bed doing nothing all night long while I thought about texting Winn.

It's upsetting how I'd rather go back to those times that continue how we are now. I knew what the problem was back then, I'm completely clueless now.

I nod and suddenly I feel Elio's hand touch mine on the bench. I look down as his hand covers mine.

"What the fuck dude?" I ask him and I pull my hand away. What is he playing at? I'm literally talking about how much I miss my boyfriend and he takes that as an invitation to touch my hand?

"Sorry, I-I was just trying to be supportive," he says quickly and he puts his head in his hands. "God, I always make a fool out of myself."

Okay so maybe I took it the wrong way. I'm just so on edge all of the time.

"Sorry," I say and I clear my throat. "I'm just... Annoyed at everything 'cos..."

"I get it," Elio says and he smiles. "No need to apologize."

Elio is cool and I should stop being such a bitch to everyone just because Winn doesn't have time for me anymore. And he keeps secrets. And he won't even facetime me anymore. Oh and he sends me one text message a day.

"We should get back to the guys, right?" I say and Elio agrees so we get up and walk back down the hill again in silence.

***

Hearing laughter coming from inside the apartment is a strange thing. I'm still not used to it.

Dad has made no attempt to contact his 'whore wife', his 'ungrateful daughter' and his 'faggot son' since we moved out. Last I heard he was working at the garage and getting drunk every night. No change there.

When I walk inside, Estella, mom and that Spencer guy who is our neighbour are standing around the island in the kitchen. They're all laughing and eating from a bowl of grapes.

"Hey, how was the trip?" mom asks me as I stand in the doorway and stare at them. I'm not really sure where I fit into the picture.

"Do you have your future all sorted out yet?" Estella teases me before putting another grape in her mouth.

I roll my eyes and go over to join them. "I wish."

I pick a grape from the bowl and my mom tilts her head. "You didn't like the school?" she asks and I shake my head. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't mind it being close to home and close to mom and Estella. But I just didn't like the college at all.

"Don't worry, there are many more colleges to choose from," my mom says and he ruffles my hair like she used to do when I was little. I don't even remember the last time she's touched me in an affectionate way and I flinch when her hand comes up to touch my hair. Her face falls but she quickly hides it. I know she feels guilty for making us stay with our father for so long.

"I'm sure they'd all love to have you," Spencer then adds. I've only seen him hanging around the apartment a few times and some more times in the hallway when he'd stop to say hello as I was on my way to school. But he doesn't know me.

"Don't be so sure," I tell him simply because I honestly don't have the energy to start arguing with him. Like I said, I need to stop being a bitch.

"Did Scott like it?" Estella asks me nervously and I understand. Scott will be moving away and she'll be staying here, they won't see each other so regularly. I know what that's like.

I shrug. "Not sure. Ask him." And I pick up a few more grapes from the bowl and I go to my room without further explanation. I'd love to go to sleep but there's homework and then I also have to wait for Winn to text me.

He never does though. I wait and I wait and I lose my patience. I text Elio instead.

_**Monty:** Hey have you heard from your friend yet?_

Elio replies almost immediately.

_**Elio:** Yeah, why?_

I sigh and I bring my pillow closer so I can rest my chin on it as I lay on my stomach.

_**Monty:** It's been half an hour and Winn usually texts me by now. But he hasn't been online for hours._

I wait for a reply impatiently tapping my foot against my bed.

Elio doesn't reply, he calls me instead. I didn't expect that but I answer all the same.

"Yeah?" I ask and I turn so I'm laying on my back now.

"So I just... Didn't want to do this over text," Elio sighs and I bite my lip. Do what over text? It doesn't sound like good news.

"What is it?" I ask and my stomach twists.

Elio sighs again but this time softly. "Monty... I don't know how to tell you this-"

"Just spit it out already!" I snap at him and I don't like how fast my heart is beating right now.

"My friend said he said Winston hanging out with this other guy. They're practically... Inseparable," Elio explains to me and I feel my stomach drop. Winn? And some other guy? But... He wouldn't. I _know_ he wouldn't.

"You're... Uh, are you sure?" I ask Elio and I wipe my sweaty hands on my bedsheets. "What else did he say?"

Winn hanging out with another guy could mean anything. They could just be studying. Or hanging out together like he always did with Tyler at Liberty. Hanging out with someone else doesn't mean that he's... I trust him.

"Not much, he doesn't see Winston very often but when he does it's with the guy," Elio says and I can't listen anymore. I thank him for helping me out and then I hang up.

I lay on my bed, my face pressed into my pillow as I wonder what to do. I text Winn again hoping that this time he'll reply but he doesn't.

Is he busy with that other guy? Is that why he doesn't have time for me?

What do I do? Who do I... Benji.

I look for his name in my contacts like a maniac. I look at the time on my phone. Almost seven so in Manchester it's... Fuck, it's like three in the morning. And on a weekday as well. He won't be partying so he's probably sleeping.

Wouldn't hurt to try.

Obviously I've called him before, tried to figure out if Winn has told him anything but Benji genuinely didn't know a thing. He knew less than me even because Winn doesn't have time to text him anymore.

Benji doesn't answer the phone even though I really really hope he does. I'm about to put it away but then it starts ringing and Benji's name shows up on the screen.

"Hel-"

"Motherfucker, this better be good," Benji groans into the phone cutting me off. "What is it?"

I waste no time telling him what the problem is and at some point, he goes so quiet that I think he's fallen asleep but Benji wouldn't do that, he listened to every single word.

"So you think he's cheating on you?" Benji asks and his voice doesn't have the usual cheery sound to it because of how tired he is.

I run my fingers through my hair. "No.. I. I don't know okay?" I could never in my life imagine that Winn would cheat on me, but Elio and his friend are proving to me that it may be a possibility.

"I'm just... Confused," I tell Benji and he sighs sympathetically at the other end.

"Yeah, I figured," he says. "I, for one, don't think that Winn would ever cheat. Especially not on you. Come on Monty, don't be foolish. The guy is so in love with you it's just... You can't let all of it go because some dude who blew you once months ago and now probably wants you to himself, mind you, is telling you that Winston is hanging out with some guy."

It takes me a second to comprehend what Benji said and then I groan not knowing what to do. Elio is over blowing me, he just wants to help. Why would his friend lie to him?

"You still with me?" Benji asks sleepily.

"Yeah, yeah. Still here," I say and I groan. "I just really wish I could talk to Winn. Make him explain everything, you know?"

"Yeah..." Benji agrees with me. He's probably wishing he could go back to sleep and not have to deal with my problems.

"So, thanks," I say. "I'll... I'll try to talk to Winn. But thanks. You can go to sleep now man."

Benji chuckles lightly. "Anytime. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I say and Benji hangs up on me. I check my phone again but Winn still hasn't texted.

I'm starting to lose my mind.

***

I think the guys are doing something for my birthday. My birthday isn't until next Friday but I asked them if they wanted to hang out and suddenly all of them are busy.

I asked them a month ago if they had anything planned for my birthday and they acted like they forgot all about it. They must be up to something.

Winn has explained that he had his phone taken away or some shit which is why he couldn't text me for those two days. His roommate let him borrow his phone on the second day so I only got a few texts because Winn didn't want to use his roommate's phone for too long.

Must be a nice roommate he's got there. 

Estella left the house a while ago too, they're definitely doing something for my birthday. My birthday is gonna be shit this year just like always. Sometimes Bryce managed to make it good by throwing me some kind of party or taking me to a party because he knew I didn't like having the attention on me.

But that obviously won't be happening this year. It's for the best, of course, not having to depend on Bryce. But it really _is_ going to be the worst birthday ever. 

Winn probably won't be here until the day after because he'll have to take the train on Saturday morning and then he'd be here by Saturday afternoon. He'll only be allowed to stay for a few hours before he has to go take the train back to boarding school. It fucking sucks.

I don't have anyone to hang out with, even Elio is busy so I distract myself by trying to focus on college applications. 

College? How is college gonna work out for us? Maybe this is good practice for when we're in college. I should get my shit together and stop acting like I'm completely dependent on Winn.

I sit in front of my laptop screen for hours trying to work out what to write, where to apply and in the end, I just look for colleges close to Princeton and Standford and other schools like that.

I keep looking long after my mom comes home and goes to bed, I keep looking long after Estella comes home. I keep looking long after it goes dark outside.

I almost fall asleep with the laptop in my lap but I hear someone knocking on our door. It can't be mom or Estella because they're already home. Dad doesn't know where we live so it can't be him. Maybe it's Spencer again, hopefully, he didn't leave his scarf on our couch again. 

I go over to check because neither Estella nor my mom get up to check, I think they're asleep which I find strange until I look at the time. It's almost eleven.

Now I'm worried.

I grab the key from the hook by the door and I turn it in the lock. I expected to see anyone but him. Literally anyone. I'd be less surprised if I saw the priest at my door at this point.

But Winn stands proudly in the doorway, a bottle of champagne in his hand and a grin on his face. There's a skinny kid next to him and he's giving me an awkward smile like he's not even sure what he's doing here. Yeah, that makes both of us.

"Surprise!" Winn says and he throws his arms around my neck. 

Yeah, I'm surprised alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked it, leave a comment and follow me on Instagram @wontywillaims for updates :)


	12. Let's Store the Champagne

**Chapter Twelve**

"What do you mean you got expelled?"

Expelled. These two idiots got expelled. 

The guy's name is Stiles, he's Winn's roommate and he's the one I'm talking to because Winn... He's too busy trying to stick his hand down my pants. Don't get me wrong, I fucking missed him and I'd love to just fuck the shit out of him but I think I deserve some answers first. And I still need to decide what to do with Stiles.

"Yeah..." Stiles says and he nods. "They said they were gonna call our parents so we ran away and Winni-Winston said we could crash here."

I'm sitting on the armrest of the couch and Winn is stood beside me, leaving kisses and his saliva everywhere all over my face. He tries to kiss my mouth but I turn away. Once I start kissing him I won't be able to stop.

I can smell the alcohol on him but it's not like I can tell him off. He doesn't seem drunk but he's definitely tipsy. His hand starts reaching for my zipper again and Stiles looks away uncomfortably. God, this boy I swear...

I grab Winn by the hips and I pull him into my lap so that he's straddling me. He seems happy to just sit there and kiss my neck.

"I thought you go, like, three warnings before they could expel you," I say getting Stiles' attention again.

"Oh, we got three warnings," Winston chuckles against the skin of my neck and he touches the side of my face with his hand.

I look at Stiles for an explanation and he sighs. "So... First one, he got caught cheating on a test. Second one he... Winn what did you do again?" I hate that he's using my nickname for Winston but I keep my mouth shut. 

Winn sighs against my skin and he pulls away a little to look me in the face. "I got into a fight," he tells me and then he leans back in to leave hickeys all over my neck. By now, I'm more than hard.

"He got into a fight," Stiles repeats which is when I start to register what Winn just told me. A fight? I can't even imagine him hurting a fly. I rub Winn's back and he stops with the kissing, he rests his head on my shoulder. We are _so_ gonna talk later.

"And the third warning?" I ask.

"I cheated on another test," Winn mumbles into my shoulder and then he sighs. "They took my phone and I couldn't text you." So what did they get expelled for?

Stiles explains that they tried to hack into the school's security to make the school gates open on Friday morning instead of Friday evening next week.

"But why?" I ask them. They risked expulsion just to start their weekend a few hours early?

"I didn't want to miss your birthday party," Winn tells me and he smiles. I think I can feel my insides melting.

"You're so..." I say but I don't get to finish as Winn finally moves up to kiss me and this time I don't turn him away. Fuck, I almost forgot how good this is. I'm never letting go of him again.

"Um, guys? I'm still here," Stiles interrupts us and I reluctantly pull away from Winn who rests his forehead against my cheek.

I wish I could just kick Stiles out but he _did_ get expelled just to help Winn and Winn said he could crash here.

I consider my possibilities. He can't sleep in the living room because my mom will freak out when she sees him. So the only option is my room... But Winn...

In the end, we all end up crashing in my room. Stiles sleeps on the floor with a few blankets and a pillow I managed to sneak out from Estella's room without waking her up and Winn is sleeping in my bed with me.

"Can't believe you moved the bed," he says pretending to be upset and he shakes his head. 

"Didn't feel right without you around," I tell him as I get changed for bed. 

Stiles is on the floor and he's got his back to us but I don't know if he's sleeping yet. Winn doesn't really care, as soon as we're under the covers he starts getting touchy again.

"I missed you so much," he whispers and he gets on top of me. I glance at Stiles and then back at Winn. He leans in and presses his lips against mine.

"Winn... Your roommate-"

"Who cares," he interrupts me and then he starts grinding against me, moving his hips is slow circular motions. 

I don't remind him that we still have a lot to talk about. The guy Elio's friend told me about, why he's been acting so weird and why he didn't even want to facetime anymore.

I throw my head back and I press my hand over my mouth to muffle the groan coming from the back of my throat. Winn doesn't stop and he leans in and starts sucking just below my jaw. I dig my hand into his hip and I bite down on my lip to remind myself not to make any noise. 

"Couldn't stop thinking about you, about _this_ ," Winn whispers and his lips graze past my ear. I couldn't either. He was all I could think about and he knows that. 

"W-We still need to... Talk," I say as he starts to tug my joggers down. I changed for bed and so did Winn, he's currently wearing some shorts that belong to me. He sticks his hand into my boxers and wraps it around my already erect cock.

I've been hard ever since he walked into the apartment and he's no better, I can feel his erection pressing into my inner thigh as he grinds himself against me.

He starts stroking me and he muffles any sounds I make with his mouth. I mean, I get it. We obviously can't fuck so we can't at least-

No, Winn has other plans. He pulls away and takes his hand away from my leaking cock. I stare at him as he starts to get out of my bed. Where the hell is he going?

"Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes," he tells me with a grin and then he tiptoes past Stiles and leaves the room.

I think letting him ride me those few times was a mistake. It has obviously gotten to his head and he thinks he can just tell me what to do. Five minutes? As if I'd wait that long. 

I manage to last about three minutes before I'm standing by the door to the bathroom. It's unlocked and I can hear the water in the shower running. 

When I walk in, I press my back against the door and I bolt it without looking. The shower is all steamed up and I can't see anything but I can make out Winn standing in the shower.

My boxers are laying crumpled on the bathroom floor and I slowly start undressing while I think of ways I can fuck him in the shower without making too much noise. The last thing I want to do is wake Estella or my mom up.

I slide the shower door open and I see Winn resting his forehead against the shower wall. He's got one hand over his mouth and he's using the other one to finger himself. At least we won't be wasting time with prep.

He clearly knows that I'm behind him but he doesn't move, he just keeps going and making small whimpering noises. I wrap my arms around him from behind and rest my head on his back. He shudders when my cock slips in between his thighs.

"M-Monty," he manages to breathe out when he takes his hand away from his mouth. 

"Shit, I forgot the lube," I tell him and I reach around to start circling my thumb around the head of his cock. His legs already start to wobble and he pushes back against me.

"Just fuck me, I don't care," he says as I stroke his cock with my hand. Yeah, but what would be the fun in that? Just because we have to do this quickly doesn't mean we have to rush it.

I start thrusting in between his thighs but very slowly and he moans quietly. 

"You gotta be quiet Winn," I whisper before kissing his shoulder and he nods.

"Okay. Okay, I can do that. I'll be q-quiet," he says and he whimpers when I let the head of my cock brush past his hole. I don't think he's ever been this desperate for me before. 

I pull away from him and I slide the shower door open. He groans in protest but I step out and start looking around for something we could use as lube. There's some lotion that I don't know who it belongs to and I don't know if it's expensive so I get just a little and I lube my cock up with it.

Winn is fingering himself again when I step back into the shower cabin and slide the door closed.

"Sssh, I've got this," I tell him and I move his hands to press against the shower wall. "Let me do this, let me take care of you."

He gives me a shaky nod as I kiss the back of his neck and then I trail my hand down his spine. He waits for me to touch him again as he spreads his legs further apart. I put my hands on his hips and I press the head of my cock into his hole.

Winn immediately moans reminding me that I need to remember to keep him quiet. I keep one hand on his hip and the other one moves to his mouth. I stick three fingers into his mouth and sucks on them greedily as I start to push inside.

He's prepped himself well and I can easily slide inside. I wait a second when I'm inside of him just to get used to it after those two weeks of not being around him.

Then I start thrusting, slow and hard at first but I know that we don't have all the time in the world and I speed up making my thrusts messy and fast. Winn doesn't seem to mind and he moans around my fingers obviously enjoying himself. I need to remind him that he doesn't always get to be in control. 

He pushes back against me and our skin makes contact and creates a loud smacking noise. As much as I love it, I don't think it's smart to let him keep going and wake everyone up.

I know that he's close even though he hasn't been touching himself because his hips jerk forward ever so slightly and I worry that he'll come even before we get to the best part that I've planned.

I pull out of him and take my fingers out of his pretty mouth. He looks back at me with his eyebrows furrowed but he doesn't get the chance to ask me what I'm doing as I turn him around and pick him up by his thighs.

I press his back against the shower wall and he wraps his legs around my hips. He grins at me and then throws his head back. "You're gonna make me lose me mind," he tells me as I try to figure out a comfortable position for both of us. I won't be able to hold him up for long but he's already close to coming so that shouldn't be too difficult.

"That's the point," I say quietly as I slowly sink him down onto my cock. It's even easier to just go inside of him this time and I waste no time trying to go slow. I slam him down onto my cock and he moans loudly.

I freeze and he slaps his hand over his mouth. "Sorry, sorry," he says quickly. "Please keep going. I'll be quiet."

I give him one look and I shake my head. "Moan one more time and I won't make you come, understand?" Obviously I could never be that cruel, the poor boy's been waiting for this for two weeks but he needs to know that he can't be loud. 

He nods and I thrust into him again. My arms start to ache but I keep going, thrusting my hips upwards and pulling Winn up and down with my arms. He starts to jerk himself off and it takes about thirty seconds for him to come all over my abandonment. 

That's what tips me over the edge and I come inside of him with a loud groan. I slam into him and then I slow down with the thrusts as I keep coming inside of him.

When I finally put him down again, he throws his arms around my neck and kisses me lazily. 

"Was that worth the wait?" I ask him when he pulls away and rests his forehead on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around him and pull his body closer to mine.

"I love you," he says breathlessly not even needing to answer the question. It's the words I've been waiting to hear those past few weeks and I smile to myself.

"I love you too," I whisper into his hair and I kiss the top of his head. 

***

Turns out Winn hasn't even let his parents know that he was okay and they've been worrying about him since they found out he ran away from school. He just went to sleep in my arms and forgot all about his parents. 

Luckily for us, I was woken up by his phone ringing and Winn had no choice but to tell me that he hasn't called his parents yet.

"Yes... Yes, he's with me. Yes, he's all okay. Yes, he slept fine. Yes, he'll have breakfast here."

Winn is making me talk to his parents because he's scared to do it himself. I pace around the room and Winston watches from my bed.

The school board isn't letting him come back to the school no matter how much Winn's parents plead with them.

I nod and hum along as Winn's mom tells me how worried she was about him and how thankful she is that I've called to let her know that he's safe. It's a good thing that she likes me and she doesn't talk for long. She just tells me that she's going to have a talk with Winn when she sees him.

"So? What did she say?" Winn asks me when I throw his phone into his lap. He puts it to the side.

"That she's going to whoop your ass when she sees you," I joke and I lay down next to him on the bed. 

Winn rolls his eyes. "So she's mad?" he asks and he lays down as that his head is next to mine.

She didn't sound mad but that was because it was me calling, not Winn. She's definitely mad though, Winn is in trouble.

I nod and close my eyes. I'm still tired after last night. Stiles is in the kitchen, he said he was gonna get something to each and my mom already left for work so I don't see why that would be a problem. I'd go to sleep if it wasn't for the fact that Winn is here and we may not have much time left together.

"I don't want them to send you away again," I say and Winn starts to play with my hair. I missed him and I missed everything about him.

I open my eyes and Winston is smiling at me. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't care what they say, I'm not going away again. I'm staying here. With you."

If only it was that easy. But Winn kisses me and I smile forgetting about all my worries. Well, maybe some of them at least.

"Winn?"

"Hmm?"

"We need to talk," I remind him and he sighs like he knew that this was coming. We might as well do it now while we're still alone and Stiles is in the kitchen. "Why... Why did you cancel on me?"

Winn looks away and I put my hand on his cheek and stroke it with my thumb. I'm not mad at him, not now. I could never be angry with him.

"That was after I got into that fight," Winn reminds me.

"A fight, huh? I don't want you taking after me," I tease him and he grins. I let him speak even though I want to ask him more about the fight, I worry what it was about.

"Some guy... He said that I was staring at them in the changing rooms after baseball- and yes, they forced me to play baseball there. It was awful and I couldn't stop thinking about you in your baseball uniform," he says and I roll my eyes. He's trying to distract me from the topic of the conversation and he's doing a good job at it. 

"What happened with that guy?" I ask him and I sit up so that I can hold Winn in my arms while he rests his head on my chest.

He sighs. "He told his friends and they... We were walking back to the house and they pushed me down the stairs. I just kind of... bruised my face a little and I knew that if you saw, you'd freak out and I didn't want you to... You know." And that's why he didn't facetime me either then, he didn't want me to see. As much as I hate that he didn't tell me, I kind of understand why he didn't.

He could have still seen me though, I would just beat that guy up and we could have continued with our weekend together.

"Did you beat the motherfucker? For my sake," I ask him and he grins again. 

He nods. "Kind of broke his nose," he says quietly and I laugh. No wonder he got a warning.

I pick his hand up in mine and I kiss his knuckles. We sit in silence for a moment and then I move onto my next question.

"Can I ask you... Why were you always acting so... distant? You barely sent me a text a day," I tell him and guilt washes over his face. He shrugs and I let go of his hand. "I'm not... I'm not angry with you. But I'd like to know what was going on."

He tries to move away from me but I hold him against my chest not even letting him move a muscle.

"Monty..." he says and he sighs. "I was doing fucking terrible at that school. I cheated on so many fucking tests, paid some guy to do my homework for me and it still wasn't good enough. My parents kept on getting annoyed at me, telling me that I'm not trying my best. And everything was just so... exhausting."

I start playing with his hair as he pauses and thinks about what to say next. 

"I'm sorry that I didn't have time for you, but in my defence, I didn't have time for anything really," he says and then he titles his head to look up at me. 

"Was there, uh, was there another guy?" I ask him and he stares at me.

"Another guy?" He sounds completely confused and I didn't think I'd have to explain myself. Elio has told me that Winn has been meeting with someone but that someone could have been Stiles.

"Like... Did you find anyone there... Attractive?" I ask and Winn grins from ear to ear. He shakes his head.

"No, No, I could only think about you," he tells me and then he places a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls away and kisses me on the cheek. "My parents are gonna kill me, aren't they?"

"Mhm," I say as he presses his nose against my cheek. Will they send him back though? Winn's mom told me that the school doesn't want him back but there are a lot more boarding schools around. 

I hear a loud bang coming from the kitchen and I exchange looks with Winn. Fucking Stiles I swear. I'm already prepared to tell him off for possibly waking my sister up but when I walk into the kitchen, Estella is sat at the dining table, talking to Stiles as he cooks something.

"Winston's back!" she squeals excitedly when she sees us standing by the door. She pushes me out of the way and wraps her tiny arms around my boyfriend's neck.

I stand by the side and watch them hug it out. 

"Missed you _so_ much!" Estella tells him as Winn squeezes her tightly.

"Oh, I missed you too," he says and it's cute how he has to bend forward to be able to reach Estella. I never really realised how tall he actually was.

They eventually let go of each other and Estella guides us over to the dining table. She sits down next to Winn and I sit opposite them as we wait for Stiles to finish cooking.

"So how long are you back for?" Estella asks Winn and she glances at me. 

"Hopefully for good," Winn tells her and he shoots a grin my way. 

"Good, Monty was starting to go back to his old ways of locking himself away in his room," Estella jokes and I roll my eyes as my sister and my boyfriend bond. Yeah, I get it. I've been an asshole when he wasn't around.

"So... he hasn't been seeing anyone?" Winn asks jokingly as Stiles walks over with a plate of bacon.

"I'll bring the eggs over in a second," Stiles informs us and he goes back into the kitchen.

"Other than Scott and Charlie? No one," Estella continues her conversation and then she glances back into the kitchen. "And who's that guy?"

"Winn's roommate from boarding school," I explain and I've kind of warmed up to him but not really. The guy has known Winn for two weeks and he's fully okay with getting expelled just to help him out. I don't like the sound of that.

"He seems nice," Estella says and I raise one eyebrow at her.

"I'm telling Scott," I tease her and she laughs.

"So, who's hungry?" Stiles asks and I think it's pretty obvious that we all are.

***

Stiles left straight after breakfast to talk to his dad and explain why he ran away from boarding school. That should make for an interesting conversation.

Winn left shortly after because his dad came to pick him up and he didn't look happy at all. I missed him before he was even out of the door. We didn't even get to open the champagne but Estella stored it in a cupboard.

They took him back to Liberty. No one wants to go here really, with this amount of scandals and suicides you'd think the school would be shut down by now but Winn's parents 'donated' some money and they welcomed Winn back with open arms.

"There they come!" Scott shouts as I park my car and get out to meet him and Charlie in the parking lot.

"Hey," Winston says as he gets out of my car.

"Good to have you back," Scott says, he hugs Winn and pats him on the back. 

Winn chuckles. "Let me guess, Monty was being a dick?"

"You don't know the half of it," Scott says shooting a look my way and he lets go of Winn.

I have to witness the same with Charlie and they talk shit about me again. I still prefer this over Winn being at boarding school.

"So what's the verdict?" Scott asks. I throw my arm over Winn's shoulder and I pull him closer to me. Diego and Elio aren't here yet but they won't be hugging Winn so I'm keeping him all to myself for now.

Winn's parents grounded him but I'm not sure how they plan to ground him when they're rarely around.

Winston looks embrassed when I raise my eyebrows at him. He rolls his eyes. "They took my car keys, my phone and I'm not allowed to go out anywhere or have anyone over."

"But," I add. "He's got a great boyfriend that's willing to wake up early to drive him to school so he doesn't have to take the bus."

We keep teasing Winn about getting grounded, getting expelled and about all the sit he's been up to at boarding school. Eventually, Diego and Elio walk over and Elio stops in his tracks when his eyes rest on Winn. Diego looks taken aback too, I haven't told anyone except for Scott and Charlie.

"Winston... You're back," Elio says and he smiles at him. Winn raises his eyebrows at first and then he tries to smile back. I think he's terrible at pretending not to be jealous. 

"Mhm," Winston says and then he lifts my chin with his finger and kisses me. He catches me by surprise by I kiss him back and move my hands to his hips. He doesn't pull away for a good few seconds until Charlie starts whistling.

Then he rests his forehead against mine and he presses his body so close to mine you'd think we were in the bedroom. What's gotten into him?

"Alright, alright," I say and I make some space between us before he can make me hard. He laughs obviously not caring that anyone is watching us. 

"So are we going to class or what?" Diego interrupts and I've never been this glad to be at school. I have Winn with me again and it won't be so terrible anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it :))) remember to leave a comment and thank you for reading!


	13. That One Summer Night

**Chapter Thirteen**

Winston is currently at the 'library' and he's going to get the 'bus' home.

Yeah no, we're making out in the locker room while the guys are out on the field playing baseball. Baseball season starts in three weeks so the guys are giving me a pass just this once.

It's hard to get any time alone with him now that he's grounded and his parents are actually sticking to it for once. They're still pissed off about Winn getting himself expelled.

I'm sat on the bench with Winn straddling me because that's literally the only comfortable position in this locker room. He's cradling my face while my hands are on his thighs. He pulls away for just a second and then leans back in again. His lips brush against mine and he continues kissing me.

I haven't been able to fuck him since he came back and that's a whole ass week. We're both so horny that it's not even funny.

But I don't even have enough time to fuck him now and it would be uncomfortable here. So I pull away and I rest my forehead on his shoulder before I can get so hard that it's impossible to ignore.

"Didn't you say your dad was going on a business trip?" I mumble into his shoulder and he groans. Ten minutes alone with him is all I ask.

"Yes, but... My mom is staying behind. She's actually taking a day off work just to make sure I stay grounded," Winn tells me and I sigh. I didn't take Winn's parents to be the strict kind. Ever. I think they're just mad that he embarrassed them in front of the school board.

Don't get me wrong, I love Winn's family and parents but I also kind of hate them right now for keeping us apart. I already had to endure two weeks of him being at boarding school, I think I deserve a break.

"You're still coming to my birthday party though, right?" Maybe then we could get some time alone. Charlie, Scott and Winn tried their best to keep my birthday party a secret but then Charlie accidentally blabbed and now I'm aware that it's happening. I don't know the details but I could certainly squeeze some alone time with Winn into the schedule.

Winn mutters something that I can't make out and I pull away so I have a clear view of his face. He sighs. "I don't know..."

"It's literally on Friday," I remind him and I frown. Winston's parents can't be this evil, right?

"I _know_ ," he says and he traces my lips with his finger. "I mentioned it to them so many times but they haven't given me a proper answer yet." So they're gonna make Winston miss my birthday party just because of some dumb expulsion? Alright, his second expulsion this year but still.

"Can you sneak out?" I ask and I lean in to give him another kiss just for encouragement. He should be able to figure something out and I could help. I could help him get down from his window or whatever. Fuck, we could even have the party at his house if that's easier.

"I'll try," he tells me and then he kisses me on the forehead. He's never done that before. No one's ever done that before but it feels nice and soft. I close my eyes for just a second and then Winn pulls away.

"You know this is really pissing me off," I tell him and I look down at my crotch where my erection is clearly visible in the tight baseball trousers.

Winn laughs and I can feel that he's just as hard as me. Maybe more. He rolls his hips and I bite back a groan.

"At least we're in it together," he says and I wish I could seem as contained as he is. He might seem fine but I know just how horny he gets.

I move my hand to rest on top of the bulge in his jeans but before I can even do anything, the locker room door opens and Elio sticks his head in from the outside.

"Coach Rick said break's over," he tells me and his eyes travel up and down Winn's body as he's sat in my lap.

"I'll be out in a minute," I shout to him and he hesitates before shutting the door. Elio hasn't been as... Friendly with me as he has when Winn was gone. He just stuck to hanging out with Diego because he's the only one who has time for him. Scott doesn't even like him and Charlie is always busy with something. As for me... My boyfriend craves attention and he can get very jealous sometimes. Like now.

"Coach Rick said break's over," Winn says in a high pitched voice and I give him a light push on the shoulder.

"Watch it, buddy," I tell him and he frowns.

"Buddy?" he repeats and he slightly lifts one eyebrow. "Buddy, I sucked your cock more than once. Don't you 'Buddy' me." He gives me a light prod in the chest and that's enough to distract my brain from going off to picture Winn's lovely words. I'm going to go mental if I don't fuck him before the end of the week.

"I think I have to go now," I tell him and I push him to the side so he won't make my erection any worse. I just need to think of something that turns me off like... Yep, my dad should do.

"See you in the parking lot," Winn shouts after me and an idea comes to my head. I wink at him before walking out.

***

Apparently car sex isn't as easy as it is in the movies. Especially when you're gay and there's an extra cock in the equation and it takes you half an hour to just find a comfortable position. In the end, I had to settle for a blow job and Winn got a hand job in return.

"That wasn't so bad," he mumbles into my neck. He's sat in my lap now and his head is on my shoulder.

Obviously we didn't try to fuck in the school parking lot, I'm not dumb. I drove us all the way out to the hobo hotel and I parked the car here where I knew no one would disturb us. Talk about making new memories.

"Hmm," I say not really agreeing with him. The blow job was good but you know what would have been better? If I got to fuck him in my own bed.

Winn sighs and his body practically melts into mine. I know that he's tired, he has so much free time that he's started to do his homework and revise for tests but it's exhausting for him to take so much work on so suddenly.

"You know I'm proud of you, right?" I tell him and he chuckles.

"For that blow job?" I roll my eyes but I can't help but laugh.

"No, you dummy. For taking school so seriously. I'm really proud of you and everything that you're doing," I tell him and I rub his back simultaneously. He goes quiet and doesn't say anything for a moment. The only thing I can hear is his breath washing over my neck.

"Thanks," he says quietly like it hurts him to say it. I wouldn't be surprised if his parents haven't praised him all week. They can't even see that Winn is trying his best and pushing himself. I can.

"I just figured it'd be unfair if you graduated without me," Winn jokes and I laugh at him. Graduation. Seems so far away but it's not. Soon March is gonna end and then April and then... Time just keeps flying by.

"Do you think your parents will unground you by graduation?" I tease him and he rolls his eyes. His hand rests on my other shoulder and he starts messing about with my shirt collar.

"Yeah, they'll get bored of this soon," Winn tells me. "They try to do these things like every few months, spend more time with me, look after me, monitor me but it always kind of fades away after a month."

I'm not surprised that his parents want to spend more time with him. Winn's grandfather is making very _very_ slow progress and I still worry that something will happen. Hopefully not. Winn hasn't mentioned me meeting him for a while and he must have a reason for that.

"I should get you home, right?" I ask him and he groans into my neck. This is the part I hate where I have to admit that if we stay out any longer then his parents will get suspicious.

"Noo," he says and then he kisses my neck softly. "Can we just stay here? I don't wanna go home." It isn't even about him being home, it was about him not being able to see or even text me. Not only did his parents take his phone, but they also now control his credit card so he can't even buy himself another phone.

"You know, this is fucking ridiculous," I sigh and I hit my head against the headrest of my seat. We're sneaking around more now than we did when I was in the closet. 

"I know..." he says and he strokes my jawline with his thumb and that seems to calm me down slightly. "I just have to behave until they let me go to your party. And then... Maybe they'll loosen the rules a little bit."

It sounds nice. But it's still just a 'maybe'. 

***

Charlie's not even paying attention to the game, he keeps glancing at his phone which is more than annoying when I'm getting killed and he's not even helping.

"Fuck, Charlie! Concentrate!" I shout at him when he gets shot once again and I'm left on my own. 

He scoffs quietly and looks away from his phone. Normally I probably wouldn't mind. But Scott is texting Estella, Charlie is texting someone too and I'm not getting any texts from anyone. I grip onto my controller tighter and Scott seems to notice.

"Have Winston's parents still not said anything about your birthday?" Scott asks and I shake my head as I shoot the fuckers in my way. I'm waiting and I'm waiting for an answer but my birthday's in two days. 

"You know I've got an old phone that I'd be happy to give to Winston," Scott tells me and straight away he's got my full attention. Who gives a damn about Charlie and the game.

"You do?"

Scott nods. "Yeah, it's nothing special just an iPhone four or something but-"

"I don't care," I quickly interrupted him. "If you can send texts from it then that's all I care about." Anything is better than this silence and only talking in school. So in the end, I leave Charlie to die alone in the game and Scott agrees to bring his phone into school the next day. 

Charlie paused the game and I didn't even notice. When I look over at him, he's smiling at his phone. I hesitate for a second and then I lean over and snatch the phone out of his hand. He manages to grab it back but not before I saw who he was texting.

"Cut it out, you two," Scott says and he groans to himself. "Literal children." I would say something back to him but I'm too focused on Charlie to do that.

"Why are you texting Alex?" I ask him and his eyes widen. "I thought you guys were, like, over." Charlie had told us months ago that he and Alex were over, so why are they texting each other? I raise an eyebrow while I wait for an answer and Charlie shrugs awkwardly. But now he's got Scott's attention too.

"You know he's with Zach now, right?" Scott says and he doesn't look too impressed. We're both thinking the same thing, Charlie is trying to take Alex away from Zach and neither of us likes it.

"Yeah," Charlie then says. He sounds pissed off that both of his friends are assuming the worst. "So am I."

Scott and I stare at him and then we exchange looks. "What are you talking about?" Scott asks him.

Charlie bites into his lip and he avoids eye contact with us. "It's kind of... complicated," he says and he puts his head in his hands. "We're all... in a relationship. The three of us."

"Like a polygamous kinda thing?" Scott asks and I stare at both of them. A what? And why is Scott so casual about this? I thought relationships were for two people.

So Charlie goes on to explain how Alex liked both him and Zach and it was just an idea at first. Charlie just messed around with them but then it kind of turned into something more.

"But don't you get jealous of each other?" I ask him. I'm starting to grasp at this but it's still confusing. Just seems like a lot of work.

Charlie shrugs. "Not really..."

I would ask more, like what happens when both Zach and Alex leave for college and Charlie gets left behind? What if they get bored of him and decide to drop him? I don't want to see Charlie getting hurt. But he seems happy. So I just let it go.

***

I think I love Scott. 

I'm never gonna be able to thank him enough for lending his phone to Winn. It's not the best but it's still... Good. Obviously we can't talk all the time or his parents will catch on but we can at least talk outside of school.

Winston's parents finally said that he could come to my birthday party. He told them that it starts at half five even though Scott told us he'll text me the location at seven which is when the party begins. Wonder what he's planning to do in that spare time...

"Give me a hint," I say and Winn laughs.

"I'm not telling you anything." It's late, must be close to midnight and I'm trying my best to keep my voice down so I don't wake anyone up. But I really wanna know what Winn got me for my birthday.

"Please?" I say but Winn laughs again.

"Just give up already," he tells me. I've tried everything to make him tell me. Including bribery at lunch today. He sighs softly into the phone. "So should I come to your house tomorrow or will you pick me up?"

"Do you _want_ me to pick you up?" Winn might have lived in the area his whole life but he's only been on public transport once or twice. I'm sure he'd get lost without even trying. "Yeah, I'll pick you up."

He laughs at me. "Okay. Good," he says and then he goes quiet. He's probably tired and he needs to wake up early tomorrow. Maybe I should say goodnight and-

"I can't stop thinking about you," he then whispers and my heart skips a beat. I missed him being clingy.

"Yeah?" 

He sighs and then it turns into a frustrated laugh. "Yeah... _Fuckk_..." My cheeks start to heat up when I realise what he's doing.

"Are you...?" I ask but he doesn't need to answer, the noises that he's making are enough. I run my hand down my face and I can already feel my cock starting to grow hard as Winn whimpers over the phone. What is he _doing_ to me?

I don't touch myself even though I'm so fucking hard. I tell myself that I can wait until tomorrow. Winn can too.

"Don't come," I tell him when I hear the muffled groans telling me that he's close. 

"What?" he asks breathlessly and I can tell that he's still going.

"I don't want you to finish," I tell him and he goes silent for a moment. "You can wait until tomorrow, can't you?" He doesn't really have a choice, he knows it's better to just listen to me.

The groans stop entirely and then he just pants into the phone. My cock is so hard that it's starting to hurt. But it'll be worth it.

***

Scott, Charlie and the rest of them treated me normally at school. They knew that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it as all my previous birthdays have always turned into disasters. The day went by like every other day, I went home, Estella left to Scott's and then I waited for Winn.

My mom is out too which means that we can be as loud as possible.

"We need to move t-the bed," Winn says breathlessly as I kiss down his chest and stomach. The bed is still touching the wall and Winn hates it.

"I'll move it later," I say hurriedly and I spread his legs apart. I think it took us about thirty seconds to take our clothes off after he walked in. 

He's already hard and I slowly jerk him off before leaning down and wrapping lips around the head. He moans quietly and then he tangles his fingers in my hair. I only blew him once before and I wanna do it again.

I open my mouth wider and let him thrust upwards. He fucks my mouth for a few seconds until I hold his hips down and take him in my mouth. I think I manage to take in more than I did last time. 

I hallow my cheeks and I suck around the tip, twirls my tongue around the slit and he groans and his legs starts to tremble. I don't let him come even though I can tell he really wants to. I pull away when his cock twitches in my mouth and then I move back up to kiss him.

He grinds against me and twists his fingers in my hair. He doesn't let go of me that easily this time so I prep him while my tongue is in his mouth. He stops me before I can add in a third finger and he pulls away.

"What's wrong?" I ask him and I kiss him again as he grinds on my fingers.

"I'm ready," he tells me and I raise an eyebrow. "Promise, I just want you." I don't want to make him wait any longer so I just trust that he's right. He must be really desperate if he's not even trying to get on top. He just picks up the bottle of lube and squeezes a lot of it into his hand.

He sits up, pulls my closer and spreads the lube up and down my cock while I squeeze his shoulder to hold back the groan from the contact of his hand. 

He kisses my lips one last time before moving up the bed and dragging me along with him. I rest one of his legs on my shoulder and I spread the other one further apart before pressing the tip against his hole.

He gives me a small breathless moan and I focus on his face when I push in. I watch as his face changes to him biting his lip and his eyebrows furrowing at the stretch. He said he was ready.

"You're so tight," I groan and I stay inside of him for a moment just to give him time to get used to the stretch. Once he's okay, I pull out and thrust into him again. He moans loudly and I've never been this glad to be home alone. 

I don't kiss him, I want to hear every single sound that he makes whereas I hold back groans and grab onto the bedsheets to stop myself from moaning. Winn hates it. He scratches at my back and moves his hips to meet me as I thrust inside of him. Anything to get me to make a sound.

I hit his prostate and he clenches around me and squeezes tight. That's what forces me to let out a groan. I freeze for just a second to calm myself down and then I keep thrusting. Winn has this stupid grin on his face that he's managed to get me to groan so I hold him down and start repeatedly hitting at his prostate until he's having difficulty breathing.

I wrap my hand around his cock and he whimpers helplessly at the overload of everything when I start jerking him off. He comes shortly after with no warning. His mouth just opens and he lets out a ragged groan as he comes all over my hand and himself.

I try my best to hold it in but I don't last long either. I slow down my thrusts as I fill him up and he whispers nonsense to himself as he tries to come down.

I pull out of him and he groans quietly then I hold onto him as he tries to catch his breath. 

"Again," he says quietly and I kiss his collarbone. His legs are still trembling underneath me even though he came a minute or two ago.

"You're shaking," I tell him and he laughs dryly. We've got about an hour left until we need to be setting off to whatever place Scott sends us to. I'm pretty sure Winn knows where we're going but he's not telling me anything.

His hair sticks to his forehead and I brush some away before kissing him on the forehead. 

"Let's get you cleaned up, alright?" He nods shakily even though he's made it clear that that's not what he wants to do. But just because I have some alone time with him doesn't mean I want to fuck 24/7.

I start to pull away but he holds onto my arms. "Can't walk," he mumbles and kisses me on the cheek. So I wrap my arms around him and pick him up with me.

Once again, thank the Lord for allowing us to be home alone.

I carry him from my bedroom, across the corridor and to the bathroom. He giggles the whole way and doesn't stop kissing my cheek.

This time we don't turn on the shower. I gently put him down on the floor and then I turn on the tap in the bathtub. I dump some shower gel into the bathtub to make some bubbles and then I turn back to Winn.

It's gonna take a while for the bathtub to fill up so I take my time cleaning him up with a towel while he leans on me for support.

The bathtub fills up almost halfway and I kiss him softly before pulling away. "Let me put something on," I tell him and he frowns. "I'll be right back, promise."

"You're not gonna go in with me?" he asks and I shake my head. Too tempting. We'd end up losing track of time and bailing on Scott.

I put some shorts on and that's it. I'm gonna have to shower too but I can do that later. When I come back in the room, Winn is already in the bathtub with his eyes closed and his head titled back. The bubbles are covering him entirely.

"Hey," he says and he smiles at me when he hears the door lock with a click. Can't have anyone walking in on us as I have no idea what time my mom is coming back. Hopefully that Spencer guy took her on a very _very_ long date.

I move the stool to the side of the bathtub and then I sit on it so that Winn's head is within my reach.

He can already see what I'm trying to do when I reach for the cup. He doesn't object, just closes his eyes and moves his head so that it's comfortable for me.

I fill the cup up with warm water and then I turn off the taps to stop the water from overflowing. Winn sighs when I slowly pour the water over his head and drench his hair.

"Just don't get shampoo in my eye," he tells me when he hears the click of the shampoo bottle opening. I have to use my shampoo because I don't want him smelling like my sister.

I roll my eyes. "I'm not gonna get shampoo in your eye. Just stay still."

I massage the shampoo into his hair and he smiles to himself but doesn't open his eyes. He sighs softly when my fingers gently rub over his scalp and run through his wet hair.

"I think there's something near my eye," he tells me and then throughout I have to keep reassuring him that there's nothing near his eyes.

I wash his hair all around, the front, the back and around his ears. He starts squirming and laughing.

"Sorry, it tickles," he tells me and I just smile to myself.

"Fuck, you're so cute," I say quietly and he blushes and turns around. He just stares at me and blinks. Did I say something wrong?

I sir there with my soapy hands in the air and Winston squints at me. "What did you think of me? When you first saw me at that party?" he turns around so he's laying on his stomach and he grins at me. "When you couldn't stop staring at me."

I roll my eyes and rinse my hands in the water before drying them with a towel. "I think you mean when _you_ couldn't stop staring at me."

He raises an eyebrow. "No, no. I clearly remember you walking towards the house and eye-fucking me."

I laugh at him and he gives me a smug grin. Okay, so I may have been a little less than subtle the first time that I saw him. "As if you were any better," I remind him and he smiles at the memory. I remember him leaning on that railing and staring me down with so much confidence that I just couldn't look away.

"Come on, tell me," Winn says and he pushes my knee with his wet hand. "What were you thinking?"

I inhale and exhale deeply before leaning my back against the shower door behind me. What was I thinking?

"I was like... I don't know. I just thought you looked nice." I say and Winn stares at me blankly.

"You 'thought I looked nice'?" he repeats and shakes his head. "Come _on_ , Monty. Give me some detail."

But how am I meant to tell him that the minute I saw him I couldn't take my eyes off of him because he was just so... Perfect. But I didn't have the guts to talk to him. It wasn't until I saw him in that room all by himself that I decided to say fuck it and see where it got me. I guess it got me here.

"You just stood out," I tell him with a shrug and then I look away. "Everyone else seemed bland and basic and then there was you."

He picks my hand up in his and he intertwines our fingers together as he waits for more. I don't think I'm gonna ask him what he thought of me, we both know he was there to get over Lucas.

"You know, the whole time while I was getting fucked up with Bryce, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was secretly hoping I'd run into you somewhere. Just to see you, I wasn't planning on doing anything more."

He chuckles quietly because we both know what actually happened when I ran into him. I gently turn him back around and I rinse his hair.

"And then I saw you in that bedroom," I tell him and he closes his eyes. He listens while I rinse the shampoo from his hair. "It just seemed like the perfect opportunity to talk to you..."

"Except we didn't talk," he says and he grins to himself. 

"Yeah..." Good thing he had the balls to go up to me or we wouldn't be here right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to update but i hope you liked this and a new chapter will hopefully be coming soon :)


	14. Spoiled Birthday Boy

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Is the blindfold really necessary?" I groan as Winn takes hold of my arm and helps me get out of the car. I had to wear it the whole way that Winn drove us here. I don't understand what the big fuss is about.

_ "Yes _ ," he tells me. I can already hear music coming from close by and even some voices and hushed whispers. But they're not trying to be quiet.

I take small steps forward just to make sure I don't bump into anyone and Winn drags me by my arm. 

"Come on," he says and he pulls on my arm. So I take larger steps and then he stops us. I thought he was just going to take my blindfold off but he stays where he is.

"Okay, before you get mad," he says and I'm already thinking the worst. What has he done now? I mentally groan and Winston puts his hands on my shoulders.

"I tried to keep it as small as possible. Trust me, I did," he tells me and the cheering, shouting and laughter tells me that this isn't an intimate gathering for friends. "But... Good news is that they brought gifts?"

He waits for my response and I just shrug. More people means crowds and crowds mean that I won't be the centre of attention. Especially if they're strangers.

"Can I take the blindfold off now?" I ask.

Winston takes my hands again and laughs relieved at the fact that I'm not mad at him for inviting more than enough people. "Just a few more steps."

I soon realise that we've approached stairs and Winston is helping me walk up them. He giggles excitedly and my heart thuds louder and louder with every step I take.

"Almost there," Winston tells me and after climbing up another two steps, he drags me forward and then stops. I'm certain that I just heard Estella giggle to herself. I bite my lip to stop myself from grinning.

He moves to stand behind me and he unties the blindfold around my eyes. He slowly slides it down my face and away from my eyes before taking it off completely. I keep my eyes closed because I'm scared of whatever the fuck they came up with.

"You can look now," Winn laughs and he nudges my back. I open just one eye at first and then the second one. I squint at the people in front of me and then I break out into a grin.

"Happy Birthday!" they all shout together and then Estella rushes forward, wraps her arms around me and twirls us around so that I almost lose my balance.

I notice my surroundings when Estella twirls me around. Is this... The same house where... I look over at Winn and his expression tells me everything I need to know. The slight eyebrow raise, the grin, the gleam in his eyes. This is the same house where I met him.

Estella finally let's go of me and I have to deal with a hug from both Charlie and Scott. I think they've already had a bit to drink. Diego gives me a pat on the back and Elio stands back and gives me a small nod. I feel a bit sorry for the guy but then Winston links his arm with mine and stirs me away in the direction of the house.

"Now this... This is where-"

"Yeah. I remember," I interrupt him as he walks us over to the balcony. He let's go of my hand and stands in the same way that he did almost a year ago. He grins at me and I get an idea. "Do you want me to walk past?"

"Please," he says so I take a few steps back. My friends have already split up or gone inside the house so I feel like no one is watching us. Then I start walking towards Winston and we can't help but grin when we don't look away from each other.

He gets impatient first, he leaves his spot and walks over to me to wrap his arms around my waist. He squeals when I pick him and hold him in the air just so I can kiss him. He laughs and kisses me back, making sure to run his fingers through my hair.

"Okay, we can do that later," I say and I put him down. His cheeks turn a pale shade of pink and I wink. I am eighteen now after all.

We walk inside together where the actual party is taking place. People dancing, laughing, shouting and drinking. I look at Winn. "How did you even get this guy to throw me a party?"

He smiles innocently and shrugs. "Oh, you know... He owed me one," he says and then he walks further into the room. I follow him. "So what do you want to do?"

There's a lot that I want to do but we don't have enough time for that. And Winn still needs to be home at- "When do you need to get home?"

He rolls his eyes. "My parents went out for a 'meal'," he says. "That's their way of telling me that I get a pass just for tonight." And that immediately gets me thinking.

"Do you want to sleep over at mine?" I ask him and he takes me hand and walks us over to a quiet corner.

He slightly raises one eyebrow and looks me up and down in a way that's making me completely lose it. "I was actually thinking..." he said and he wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me closer. "We could get a hotel room instead."

My heart thuds but not from excitement. The last time we were in a hotel room... Winn sees the panic on my face and he starts to stroke my cheek with his thumb. All I can think about is the last time I hurt him. It may have been months and months ago but I still think about it from time to time. I'll never forget.

"And we'd have a whole suite to ourselves," Winston continues and his voice is softer now. "A whole day to ourselves. What do you say?" No isn't an option so I nod. It would be a good idea to replace our last hotel room memories with new ones.

"Now, how about we both get drunk?" I suggest and Winston beams.

"I like that idea."

"We're full of good ideas today," I say and I lean forward and press my lips to his forehead.

"Yeah, we should have good ideas more often," he agrees and then we laugh at each other.

"Are you guys done flirting?" someone asks and when I turn around, Scott is holding three shot glasses. He grins before passing one to me and the other to Winn.

"What's in it?" Winn asks and he scrunches his nose up at the smell. I can already smell the stench of the vodka from here.

On my fourteenth birthday, Scott made me a 'drink', a drink that consisted purely of vodka And ice. It's now a tradition to drink watered-down vodka on my birthday.

Winn watches as Scott and I tilt our head back and drink the content in one gulp. I've never drank anything more disgusting. Scott gags and I stick my tongue out to get rid of the taste.

Winn looks put off, he passes the shot glass to me and Scott immediately grins. "Come on," Scott encourages me. "A second shot for the eighteen-year-old."

So I down it in one gulp while Scott makes vomiting noises and Winn grimaces. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Do I get a real drink now?" I ask.

***

I haven't drank as much as I thought I would. I kind of still want to be sober when Winn and I go to that hotel room. I think Winn has drank way more than me but he's not wasted. Not yet. Scott keeps mixing drinks for him and they experiment together. Once again, Estella and I are watching from the sidelines.

We sit on the stairs together and we watch as Scott and Winn both encourage one another to drink one more drink. This is the good kind of drinking that neither of us is used to. We're more used to seeing our dad get drunk and then start smashing things up. This is nice for a change.

"Are you having fun?" Estella asks me nervously and she glances at me from the side.

I nod and then I smile to myself when Winn decides to throw in the towel and stop drinking. At least he knows his limits.

"Never thought I'd see you this happy," Estella comments and I turn my head and stare at her. She smiles at me and then gives me another one of her hugs. This new sibling affection is new to both of us. We've always been close but close in a way that I'd protect her from dad and she'd look out for me. We never really interacted unless it was necessary.

"Me too," I reply quietly just as Winn makes his way towards me. He trips over nothing and then falls into me. I manage to catch him just in time.

"Woah. Scotty, what the hell have you done to my boyfriend?" I shout over to him and he just shrugs and gives me a smug grin. Estella raises her eyebrows at me and then leaves to scold  _ her _ boyfriend.

Winston is still hanging onto me and I pull him closer so that it's more comfortable for the both of us. "How are you feeling?" He shrugs and buries his face into my neck. He's a bit drunk. "Let's sober you up and then you can lie down. Okay?"

He agrees so I take him up the stairs, make him drink some tap water and then I find the bedroom where we first talked to each other. Winn chuckles when he realizes.

I close the door behind us and he walks over and lays down on the bed. "God. I'm so...." he says and then he bursts out laughing.

"Drunk," I finish for him and I sit down on the edge of the bed. "You're drunk." I ruffle his hair and he doesn't even have the energy to tell me off for ruining his perfect hair which took him half an hour to style. We were almost late because of him.

"I haven't even given you your gift yet," he says and then he laughs again. I haven't thought about it until now. "I'll tell you when... When I sober up."

"Could be a while," I tell him and he grins. So drunk Winston is either horny or giggly. Got it.

Within seconds, he starts to doze off and he falls asleep. I say his name a few times but he's fast asleep. I don't wanna leave him in a room by himself so I stay with him for about fifteen minutes before I feel like I need to pee.

I close the door behind me just to make sure people know not to go in. Just like that summer, I have trouble finding the bathroom and once I find it I have to wait in a queue for five minutes. I almost piss my pants.

I don't even bother washing my hands when I'm finished, I splash some water on them and I wipe them on my shirt. I open the door to the bathroom and I start walking back to the room that Winston is in before I hear someone call my name.

"Monty! Monty, buddy!" The voice immediately makes me freeze in place and I only start moving again when his hand is on my shoulder.

"Don't fucking touch me," I snap at Bryce and I shrug his hand off my shoulder. He's looking at me like a wounded puppy.

I've heard that it's not going so well for him at Hillcrest. He doesn't have any friends, he gets picked on constantly and his parents have to bribe his teachers in order to get him to pass his classes. I heard that he’s even gotten beaten up once or twice.

So now he's trying to get back to me just like he did last summer when he realised that he had no one else. I was always there for him. 

Bryce looks me up and down and he nods slowly. "Er, just thought I'd swing by and say happy birthday," he says and he gives me a pat on the arm. I immediately step back and cross my arms over my chest.

"Well, you've said it. You can leave now," I say and I look around just to show him how uninterested I am in carrying this conversation on. 

Bryce stares at me like he still can't believe that I'm standing up to him. Then he tries to smile at me. "I miss you, buddy," he says and he takes a step forward. "Maybe we could hang out like we-"

"No," I cut him off. A group of drunk guys stumble up the stairs and I look at the door of the room that Winston is in. "Look, man. I gotta go. My boyfriend is-"

"Winston, right?" Bryce asks and he comes even closer like he thinks being closer to me will make me want to talk to him more. "I've been meaning to see him. Where is he?"

I don't answer. Bryce has done enough, I doubt that Winston would want to see him. I just turn away from Bryce and I walk back to the room where Winn is still sleeping peacefully. I've gotta figure out a way to get us out of here since both of us are too drunk to drive. 

He stirs and then he smiles at me when I brush some hair away from his face. “What are you doing?”

“How about we leave?” I ask and Winston nods. “Okay… Just don’t fall asleep, I’ll… I’ll try to get us a ride.”

When I go back downstairs, I see that Winn isn't the only one who got himself completely wasted. Diego is laying passed out on a couch and Elio is standing over him looking like he wishes he was anywhere but here.

"Elio! Elio!" He doesn't hear me over the music and I have to walk closer and call his name once again until he finally turns around. He's not that sober either, his cheeks are flushed and his pupils are blown. "Did you take something?"

He takes my hand and he drags me away from Diego and close to a wall where we can talk in peace. I guess asking Elio to drive us to the hotel is out of the question then. 

"Do you know where Scott-"

"I need to tell you something and I need to say it before I sober up," Elio interrupts me and he closes his eyes for a brief second. He laughs then and I'm already getting worried. This doesn't sound good.

"Actually I need to get so fucking drunk that I forget this even happened and how badly I embarrassed myself." he continues and he rubs his hands up and down his face like he's trying to sober up slightly. He looks at me and I'm not sure what's going on "But... Here it goes. I like you." He pauses for a second and looks away when he sees that my expression doesn't change. Winn told me that he liked me but... I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it because I like Elio as a friend.

"And every time you... Look at me or smile at me or talk to me or even give me a split second of your attention, I feel like I might actually have a chance..." he trails off and he looks down at his feet. Fuck, why do I feel so bad for him. "Crazy, I know. But it's been keeping me up at night. And I can't- I don't know what to do. I guess I just... Want to hear you say that... I just want to know, is there something... Going on between us or am I just imagining it?"

He shifts from foot to foot as he waits for my answer. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. I have to run a hand through my hair like that's going to help me come up with an answer. Maybe if I wasn't so wasted then this would be easier.

Elio scoffs. "Right..." 

"Sorry, I," I say and I bite on my lip as I try to think of what to say. I never felt like I was giving Elio reason to believe that we were anything more than friends. I can't imagine dating him. I'm with Winn.

"I just really love him, you know?" I say and Elio nods sadly.

"Right. Of course," he says and then he sighs.

When he walks away, I follow him with my eyes and I notice that Winn is coming down the stairs. "Hey..." he says awkwardly but he's not fooling anyone.

"How much of that did you hear?" I ask when he walks towards me. He shrugs and he puts his hands in his pocket. He looks slightly uncomfortable but he doesn't seem jealous, more like upset.

"I, uh, I called us a taxi," he tells me and he stares at his shoes. Okay so be probably heard all of that. Not good. But he's not talking about it so what's the point in bringing it up?

"Okay," I say and then I put my hands on his hips and I pull him closer. He doesn't look up so I put my head on his shoulder and then he chuckles softly. "I love you," I mutter quietly just in case he needs reminding. 

He sighs. "I love you more,” he says and then he chuckles. Okay. We’re okay.

***

Winn is in a better mood once we get out of the taxi. I told Charlie that we were leaving in case someone was looking for us. He had this dumb smirk on his face but I ignored him and left with Winn.

He goes over to the front desk to check us in and I stand a few steps back because he's the professional one, I let him deal with all this people bullshit.

"And under what name?" the receptionist asks and Winston's lips curl into a grin.

"Winston de la Cruz," he says casually and he taps his finger on the front desk. I'm pretty sure that my heart stops for a second. We've had this conversation before but... That was during our honeymoon phase. Now I feel like we're actually dating and hearing him say that name is making it possible for me to imagine a future with him.

The lady taps on the keyboard a few times and stares at the screen. She asks for some form of identification and I think that this is going to cause some problems but Winn doesn't hesitate to whip out an ID card from his pocket. He slides it across the desk to the woman and then turns around and winks at me. I bite my cheeks to stop myself from smiling.

Once we've got our room keys and we're in the elevator, I shake my head at him and he laughs. "Did you really have a fake ID made just so you could do that?"

"Shush or someone will hear!" he says and then he grins at me. He reaches into his pocket and he takes the ID out again. He holds it out towards me. "Here. Keep it."

I take it from him just as the elevator opens and we step out. This isn't a decent kind of hotel like the one... I don't wanna think about that night. No, this hotel is big, grand and probably very expensive. The walls are decorated with paintings and there are tables with flower vases at every corner. The vases look like they’re worth more than my entire house.

I look down at the ID as Winn guides us to our room. Winston de la Cruz. I like it more and more with every second that passes. Winston doesn't interrupt me as I study the ID. He's smiling in the picture and he just looks...

"I'll save it for you," I say and I put it in my pocket. Winn turns to me and raises a questioning eyebrow. "You might need it in a few years." Of course, IDs expire like every five years or whatever but he gets what I'm trying to say. Colour floods his cheeks and then he smiles at me before looking away again.

We finally reach room number 54 and Winston unlocks the door with his key. I look inside and then I stand there staring. Just the bed is about the size of my whole room, we have a flat-screen TV, an electric fireplace, a minifridge and everything just looks so expensive and perfect.

For a second I feel weird because I know that I won't ever be able to do something like that for him. What have I got to offer him? Shitty carnivals in shitty towns where the hotels look like homeless shelters? Yeah, I'm spoiling him so much.

But then Winn takes my hand, drags me inside and I close the door behind us letting us stand there in the room. Winn doesn't turn the lights off but the candles on the nightstand light up the room pretty well. I'm starting to feel very nervous.

Winston slowly sits us down on the edge of the bed and he smiles at me. At least he seems to be slightly less drunk than before.

He takes a deep breath in and looks me in the eye. "I got into Stanford," he tells me and my mouth opens, closes then opens again. College. I've applied to some smaller ones that I could afford but I haven't heard back from any of them. Coach said he'd recommend me for some scholarships but there hasn't been any word on that either. And now Winn is going to Stanford.

"Wow, I..." I say and I don't really know what to say. Congrats? I'm happy for you? Somehow they don't seem like the right thing to say and we both know that Winn got in with his parents' help.

"Um, yeah..." he says and he laughs awkwardly like he knows what I'm thinking. "I think I got some pity points for my grandad and all." I feel terrible for thinking what I did and I quickly put my arms around him. He rests his head on my shoulder.

"I did, erm... I managed to convince my parents to do something. For your birthday," he tells me and I notice that he sounds slightly happier. "They like you so they agreed to erm..."

"They agreed to what?" I ask him because his pauses are starting to make me even more nervous. What is he so scared to tell me? But then he laughs and pulls away. I notice that he's grinning now.

"Okay, this is gonna sound really weird but... You don't have to say anything yet. I'll give you some time to think about it," he says and I raise an eyebrow.

"Think about what?" I'm scared to find out what he's thought of now.

"So I got my parents to speak to the dean of this other university, UC Berkeley. It's hard to get into but then they talked about your football career and they said that there might be a chance for you to get a scholarship," Winn tells me and I stare at him. His parents did what for me? I swear I could kiss him right now.

So I do. I kiss him so hard that he moves back in surprise and I have to keep my hand on the back of his neck to hold him close. He starts to laugh but I don't stop kissing him. 

"I-it's only an interview but if you impress them..." he says when I finally let go of him. I still can't comprehend it, I might be getting into a good university and getting out of this dump. "You're okay with that, right? So, erm... Can I get to the good part now?"

That wasn't it? What else could be better than me going to university in the same state as him? How close even are they? I nod and Winston grins even wider.

"So it's about... fifty miles away from Stanford, that's like an hours drive," he says, answering my question. "We, erm, if this is too weird for you just say so but... My parents already found an apartment for us to rent so we can-"

"Live together?" I ask him and he blushes.

"I knew it was too m-"

"I'd love to," I add and I'm still too shocked to even move or smile or do anything. I'm surprised I haven't passed out yet. This time it's Winn who leans in and he kisses me softly.

"It's sort of halfway. So it'll take me and you both half an hour to drive to our colleges," he explains and I listen to him. With every second that passes, I realise that this isn't just some fantasy that we're making up, it's within our reach.

We lay down on the bed and Winn cuddles up to me, he continues telling me about the college and what it would look like. I think he booked this room for us to have sex but neither of us is in the mood, we're happy to just lay there and talk about our future together.

Fuck.  _ Our _ future. That sounds so good.

***

After waking up in our giant hotel bed, Winn said that we should shower but I said I preferred a bath.

"We really should have thought about bringing some clean clothes," I say and then I shake my head. "You could have told me."

We're bathing together, the bathtub is big enough to be a swimming pool so we sit on opposite sides of the bathtub and our legs are laying side by side. This has got to be the best birthday ever. 

Winn laughs and then reaches over to the table by the side of the bathtub where our breakfast and champagne is. He takes a sip from the glass and he manages to dip the bottom of the glass in the bubbles. There are so many bubbles that they're almost touching my neck.

"I didn't bring any clothes either," Winn tells me and I roll my eyes at how stupid he can be sometimes. He managed to organise for us to live together after highschool but he can't even plan a one day stay at the hotel. 

"I think I like being Winston de la Cruz," he says and he puts the glass of champagne away. My glass is empty so Winn fills it up and then passes it to me. He picks his own glass up too. 

"You do?" I ask him and I smile. I hold the glass close to my lips and then I look up at him. "I think we should have a toast."

"To what?" Winn asks me and he tilts his head to the side. Hair falls over his eyes and he quickly brushes it away.

"To... Us?" I suggest. It's a simple toast but I've been obsessed with the word recently. So we clink our glasses together and then we take a sip of the champagne. It tastes so expensive I almost feel guilty for drinking so much of it. "You're really spoiling me today."

He laughs and then shifts closer to me. "Just wanted to... Make you happy I guess." Slowly his smile fades away and he starts chewing on his bottom lip. "I  _ do  _ make you happy, right?"

I feel like this has something to do with what he heard Elio tell me. I tried my best to forget about that conversation and ignore it but that doesn't mean that I don't feel sorry for poor Elio. 

"Happiest," I say and then he breaks out in a grin. We're being cheesy and cringe, if I had heard someone else say this I wouldn't hesitate to make fun of them. But Winn doesn't care how cheesy I get with him. 

I put my glass away and then I pull at Winn's ankles and move him closer to me. He starts giggling as I lean forward and start leaving kisses all over his face. He starts squirming and moving away but I hold onto his face with soapy hands and I smear the bubbles all over his face. 

"You'll get it in my eye!" he shrieks and he moves away and wipes his cheek with a soft white towel. I can't stop laughing at him and he flicks some water at me. 

"Watch it," I say and he does it again. "Winston..." But he flicks the water at my face again and I have to close my eyes and look around blindly for a towel to wipe my face. He's grinning widely when I finally open my eyes. I don't have the energy to flick water back at him. "You're lucky I love you," I say and he raises an eyebrow.

"I think  _ you're _ lucky I love you," he says and then he comes closer to me and places a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose. 

I really am lucky to have him. I'm glad he decided to stick around. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopw you liked this chapter :)


	15. Family

**Chapter Fifteen**

I think inviting all those rich kids to my birthday party was the best thing to ever happen to me. I got a shit ton of alcohol and watches (what is it with rich people and watches?) that weren't exactly expensive but they weren't cheap either. I sold all of the watches and the rest of the rich people's bullshit that I had no use for. I ended up with quite a bit of cash.

My mom got me a new phone even though I thought we were like struggling with money and shit, but she told me that she didn't want me to go to college with that smashed up phone. Estela got me a bunch of facemasks for me and Winn (apparently) and Charlie got me a game for PS4.

I think Scott's gift was the best (not counting Winn's gift of course), he got me a pillow with the photo of me kissing my boyfriend on New Year's Eve printed on it. "For your apartment when you go to college," Scott said and he winked at me.

"You knew?" I asked and Scott just laughed. I was surprised that he managed to keep it secret for so long.

"Yeah, I'm besties with your boyf. Didn't you know?" Scott teased me and I cringed at the word he used.

My birthday was last week and we've played two baseball games since then. Winn has been officially ungrounded and we've already got plans.

I'm sitting on my bed, waiting for him to come over because he's gonna drive us to the hospital. I'm finally meeting his grandad. I'm both nervous and excite, he's been talking about it all week.

I finally got a letter from college. They gave me a date for my interview and it's in a week's time. The day before we leave for the senior camping trip. Everything is happening so fast but I have my family and my friends to help me through this. Diego is being particularly helpful in getting me ready for all the questions that they could ask as he too got a scholarship so he has some experience.

I've been trying to avoid Elio and he's been doing the same with me. He blushes whenever we accidentally lock eyes and I wish I could say something to make it better but I have no idea what. 

Only yesterday I found out that Winn is still in touch with Stiles. I mean of course, the guy literally tried to hack the school system for him. Apparently, Stiles was invited to my birthday party but he couldn't come, he's still grounded. How sad.

"Winston is here!" Estella calls out from the living room so I get off my bed, take one last look in the mirror to make sure that I look fine and then I walk into the living room.

My mom is on another date with that Spencer guy. I think it's starting to get serious and to be completely honest, I don't mind him. He talks to me about football and school and he's fine with me being gay so he's already better than my dad.

Winston stands by the door and he smiles at me. Okay so everything's fine if he's smiling. All's good. He’s been talking a little about his grandad, telling me this and that and he wants to pretend that everything is fine and going to be okay but I still worry.

"You gonna be fine to stay on your own?" I ask Estella like she's six years old. She rolls her eyes as I put my shoes on by the door.

"I'll be fine," she tells me and then she sits back down on the couch and resumes the TV show that she was watching. It’s gonna be weird leaving for college, leaving her here on her own. But I know that she’ll manage, she doesn’t need me to look after her anymore.

I open the door for us and I grab my keys from the hook. I lock Estella inside and then Winn and I walk towards the elevator. We’re both quiet, not really knowing what to say and then Winston clears his throat. 

"Are you nervous?" he asks me and I shrug. I've been nervous all week, since the second he told me that I could finally meet his grandad. "Don't be, I've already told him so much about you. He loves you." He finds my hand and he squeezes tight once we're in the elevator. His hand is warm and soft whereas my hand is all sweaty and cold. I quickly pull my hand away and wipe it on my jeans. “You’ll be there with me, right?" I ask and Winn nods.

"I won't leave your side," he says and then we step out of the elevator. I look around to see if maybe mom is back from her date but there's no one here but us.

We walk outside and it's only late March but it's still slightly chilly and I shiver. Winn takes his scarf off and wraps it loosely around my neck. "Thanks," I mutter and he just smiles in response. Neither of us is talkative today but we're okay with just walking in silence.

Once we're in the car and I'm in the passenger’s seat, Winn throws his head back and sighs. "You might have to, erm... Speak slowly? He's still recovering and-"

"Okay," I say. Winn doesn't need to explain himself. Obviously so many new faces can't be good for his grandad and I want to try my best to make this go as smoothly as it can. I want to seem like I have it all under control but in reality, I’m terrified.

I know how much his grandad means to him and I don’t want to fuck this up. I really want to make a good impression.

***

I thought it would go way worse, but it was okay. Winn says it went great, that he's never seen his grandfather look that happy and I'm just gonna take his word for it because the old man didn't even look awake to me. 

I had no idea it was this bad, it's not like he's close to death or anything, he's just old, exhausted and he's doing physiotherapy so I kinda admire the guy for even having the energy to meet his grandson's boyfriend.

It's late already and Winn doesn't want to drive me back to my house, he says he can't be bothered but really he knows that we have his house to ourselves and its better than going back to the apartment where Estella is. His parents aren't gonna be back today, they're staying at his grandad’s house for the night again. I think that's their job to look after him with Winn’s mom being the youngest child and all. 

“You liked him, didn’t you?” Winn asks me while his head lays in my lap and he turns away from the TV screen to look up at me. I stop playing with his hair for a moment and I nod which makes him smile. What’s there to say? He seemed fine and if Winn likes him then I do too.

I’m worried though because I know that one day the inevitable is going to happen and Winston is gonna be a mess when it does. I really hope that day doesn’t come any time soon. I think Winston knows it too, he's just not letting himself think about it. 

So we go back to watching the film, Winston is trying to get me into Harry Potter for some reason and he's obsessed with stopping the film every five minutes and explaining every single detail to me like I'm stupid. 

"Woah, slow down. I don't even know what half those words are," I say and Winston rolls his eyes. He's very proud of himself for having read the books  _ and  _ watched the movies more than once. Personally, I don't think I'd have the patience to do that. But then again, I have the patience to put up with him. 

We resume watching the movie for a few minutes until Winston falls asleep in my lap. I've been waiting for it to happen, he's been acting energetic but I could see that he was worn out. I think he was just worried about me meeting his grandad.

So I turn the volume down and I don't move too much because I don't want to wake him up. He looks so precious when he sleeps, his dark eyelashes touching his cheeks and his lips moving every time he breaths out. He's like… perfect in every way. 

I think that's what always scared me. He was so perfect and then there was me. A mess. It just didn't make sense for us to be together and I was scared that I'd ruin him somehow. Fortunately, I don't think I did that. 

I drifted off to sleep at some point and I only woke up because Winn kept nudging me. 

"Hey," he says raspily and he tries to push some hair out of his eyes. "Hey, your phone keeps ringing." He reaches over to the coffee table and passes me my phone. The light from the screen immediately blinds me. 

"Huh?" I ask but all he does is hold the phone up to my ear. I sit there still half asleep and Winston observes me. "Yeah?" I ask and it's Estella's voice that I hear on the phone. 

"Monty, where are you?" she asks in a small voice and I immediately take the phone from Winn and I sit up. Estella can keep her shit together, I know that. So if she sounds this shaken up and something has to be very wrong. 

"I'm… with Winston. What's wrong?" I say and I nudge Winston's shoulders lightly to let him know not to fall back asleep because I have a feeling that we are probably gonna have to leave soon. 

"Can you come home right now?" Estella asks and then silence. "It's dad. He… he followed mom home."

***

I tried to get Winston to stay behind but he already had five different arguments for why he should come with me. I couldn't exactly say no. We walked straight into the aftermath. My dad may not have been around but I could tell that he was here. 

I can't even ask if anyone is okay. My mom is sitting on the couch, hands shaking and a wet tissue pressed to her nose. Spencer is sat next to her and he's got his arm around her. 

"What the hell happened?" I finally manage to choke out. Estella is sat opposite them and she looks my way once Winston closes the door. The kitchen is a mess, a broken plate laying close to my feet like someone threw it from there. 

Winston walks over and he starts picking up cushions from the floor. My dad threw cushions around? Not the worst thing he's done. 

My mom and Spencer stay on the couch and Winston is there cleaning up the mess of a broken plate while Estella ushers me outside into the hallway. 

"What the hell happened?" I repeat and she looks around to make sure that none of our neighbours are lurking around. I bet the nosey fuckers listened to the whole thing though. 

"I think he was following mom," Estella whispers and she looks down at her feet. "He followed her here. Barged his way inside and... He just started this whole row just insulting her and-and trying to grab me and then Spencer tries to intervene-"

"Woah, slow down," I say and I put one hand on her shoulder. Nothing's she's saying is making any sense. "So he was inside the apartment, what then?"

She takes a deep breath and looks at me. "He was… drunk. Maybe? Yeah, he was." Estella stops and she seems calmer now. Me? I'm trying to remain calm but this bastard keeps following us everywhere and ruining everything.

"Spencer stood up for mom, dad tried attacking him… he was too drunk to hit him properly," Estella continues. "He tried to get me to come with him and I wouldn't. Of course I wouldn't. And he got really angry and he started throwing stuff around. Spencer managed to kick him out after threatening to call the cops."

We wait out in the hallway for a few seconds and then I hear voices inside the apartment. We should probably be getting back inside. 

"Monty don't do anything stupid," Estella says and she grabs my arm. What I'm thinking of doing isn't stupid, I don't want that fucker to ever come near me or Estella or Winston or anyone ever. 

"'Stella-"

"Leave it," she repeats and her nails dig into my skin even though I know she probably doesn't mean for that to happen. "You're getting out of here soon, just ignore it for now." She's partially right. I'm gonna be out of here, off to college. But her and mom are gonna be staying here. 

When we walk back inside, they're all sitting on the couch and my mom has a mug of coffee in her hands. She looks up and sees me for the first time. She was too dazed to see me before. 

"I'm okay," she says quickly lie I'm not some fucking kid. I haven’t been a kid for a long time.

"What happens if he comes here again?" I ask because I know that we're all thinking it. It won't just go away. My dad doesn't give up easily. They don't respond and I'm mad that I seem to be the only one around here who is actually trying to work out a fucking solution for this. 

"He's gonna come here again," I say and then Winn gets off the couch. "What?" I ask when he puts his hand on my back and starts pushing me towards my room like I'm a child who needs time out. 

"Let's just talk, okay?" he says quietly and he glances back at my mother, sister and Spencer sitting on the couch. They're not paying attention to us. 

We walk into my room and he closes the door behind him. I waste no time getting straight to the point. "Can't she get a fucking… restraining order or something? Both of them?" I ask and Winston sits down on my bed. He must know more than me about all this bullshit and the law. I didn't have a clue what was gonna happen to me when I got arrested that one time, good thing Bryce gave me his lawyer.

"It could take a lot of time," Winston explains calmly and I groan in frustration. "And still, do you really wanna involve the police in all of this?" I don't think I have a choice, my dad isn't gonna stay away now that he knows where to find us.

"You don't understand-"

"Monty, listen to me," Winston says and he walks over to me. I won't look at him but he forces me to. "It's not your job to protect everyone, stop putting all this pressure on yourself."

"They're my family," I emphasize to try to make him see that it's not as easy for me to just leave for college and forget about everyone back home. He has it easy, his parents don’t give a shit about him so family means less to him than it does to me.

We argue about it for a long time. He doesn't want me to worry so much about it and I want him to leave me alone and let me do what I need to do. 

"If you're not gonna help then what are you even doing here?" I snap at him and he stops where he is and he frowns. Why can't he just agree with me for once? 

"I'm trying to help. But you won't even listen to me," Winston says in a small voice and he bites his lip as he waits for me to say something. I didn't ask for his advice, I just need him to be here and tell me that I'm not crazy for wanting to protect my family. 

"You're not helping," I say and I roll my eyes. I walk past him and sit down on the bed and he doesn't join me. 

Instead, he scoffs. "Well then maybe I  _ should _ leave."

"Maybe you should," I counter but all he has to do is say that he's sorry and that I'm right. Why does  _ he _ always have to be right? 

He stares at me but I don't continue. He gives me a small nod. "Fine."

"Whatever," I mutter and he just turns to walk out of the room. I wonder if they heard our argument, probably have. 

"Call me once you've calmed down," Winston says and I scoff as he shuts the door with a loud bang. He might have as well told me to never call him again. 

***

Honestly, I'm surprised that Winston still has the patience to deal with me. I didn't call him all day yesterday and then on Monday I come to school and he's waiting in the parking lot for me. 

"Good luck," Charlie says and he pats my back as he walks past. I only picked him up because I thought he'd tell me that I was right and Winston was wrong. He didn't really say anything the whole car ride to school.

"Hey," I said plainly as I walk towards Winston. I didn’t fuck up this time, this isn’t my fault. He smiles nervously and he gets straight to the point.

"Are you still mad at me?" He asks and I sigh. Should have fucking called him last night. 

"I wasn't mad at you… you just annoyed me," I say and Winston doesn't know whether he should laugh or not judging by his expression. I hate seeing him like this, looking so hurt over something this small. "Come 'ere." I just wrap one arm around his shoulders and pull him into my chest. 

"Sorry for annoying you," Winston mumbles into my chest and he laughs shortly. "I prefer it like this."

"Me too," I say and I rub his back up and down. I think we both like it when we're not arguing. Although I still haven’t come to a conclusion from that argument. "Did you mean what you said? Should I really just leave it?" 

"Oh, so now you want my help?" he asks and I immediately pull away. He’s not gonna let this go so easily, I knew it. 

"Don't start this shit again," I say and this time he laughs. Glad I got out of this mess quickly. I don’t wanna fight with him over stupid shit.

"Sorry. But… you should do what you think is best," he advises me. What I think is best? I have no idea, I always do the wrong thing. Or used to. Doing what I think is best is an entire new concept. 

Last night, everyone was shaken up and angry and scared, I couldn't think straight about this. Now I kind of can. And whatever Winston thinks is best, I should trust his opinion.

"Yeah… I will." I say and I lean in to kiss his cheek before pulling away. He seems to hate it because it's been a while since I last kissed him and the cheek kiss doesn’t seem to be enough.

"Can we focus on your college interview now?" he asks. Ah fuck, the college interview. It's this week and I'm only half prepared. I'm gonna fuck it up, I know it. He did so much just to get this for me and I’m gonna disappoint him and his parents.

I groan and I take a step back. Fuck, it's this Thursday and I'm not ready for it. "What if I mess up?"

"You won't mess up," he reassures me. I see Scott and Estella already standing in the distance. I think Estella must be telling him about my dad judging by his expression. 

"Monty," Winston says getting my attention again. "You won't mess up. I'll help you practice. Okay?" Diego helped out, Estella helped out and even my mother tried to help. I still feel like I’ll mess up.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Winston says and he squeezes my hand. I better ace this fucking interview for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not posting for so long, i focused on my other stories but ill be updating this regularly again now


	16. Inseparable

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Please. Take a seat," the woman says. She introduces herself as Kate once I sit down opposite her. We agreed to meet up at the school after class, neutral ground with nothing to tell her about my background or family. It's perfect. Thanks, coach. 

Winston has tried to get me prepared, sitting down opposite me in his dining room and asking me a set of questions. Except those mock interviews usually resulted in me fucking him on the table. 

He didn’t let me wear a flannel, he actually forced me to borrow one of his suits which was too big for him. I tried to ditch the blazer but he made sure that I took it and now the shirt feels really uncomfortable and sweaty and the trousers are itchy. I’ll blame him if I bomb this interview because of the clothes.

"So Montgomery-”

"Monty," I interrupt her as she shifts around in the chair.

"Monty," she repeats. This office is awfully quiet, I wish I could hear something else other than the broken ventilation. "We looked over your stats, your teacher's personal statements… Everything looks good. Even your English teacher, she said some great things about you," she says and I already feel hot all over. There's a but. What's the but? 

"But your grades aren't looking that great," she says and she squints waiting for me to explain. If it goes too bad, I gotta pull the sympathy card. Just not yet. 

"I… I've had a tough year. But my grades  _ have _ improved. I've been studying hard," I try to justify myself. I may not have been doing that great at the start, focusing on football and nothing else. And then all the bullshit with Winston and my dad, it wasn't easy. 

"Hmm," Kate says absentmindedly and she goes back to flicking through my file. Not good. It's a method of distraction as they try to come up with a nice way to say 'sorry but we don't want you'. Winston is counting on me, he's put a lot of work into this and I don't want to let him down now. 

“Look, this year really hasn’t been easy for me,” I sigh and I hate that I have to do this, that I’m not enough and I have to use a different way. She looks up at me, tilts her head to the side like she’s interested. “But I’m really trying to better myself. I’ve been… kind of doing what I thought people wanted me to do, not what _ I _ wanted to do.”

“What do you mean by that?” she asks and I start messing around with my hands under the table. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my dad but if it means getting into college, I can do it.

“My dad wasn’t really supportive of anything I did. I did enough to please him but not enough to actually… do well in school. I focused mostly on football, thought that was my only way out, away from him,” I say. Winston said that eye contact was important but I can’t maintain it for more than two seconds and my eyes keep dashing around the room, from one object to another. I hate having to talk about this. But it seems to work, she wants to focus more on me rather than my grades.

“So you take football seriously,” she summarises and she gives me a small nod. The conversation becomes more personal, asking me what I’d like to get from going to  UC Berkeley and all those ‘where do you see yourself’ questions. It gets easier and easier to answer them.

I’m smiling by the end of the interview, no longer feeling stressed but hopeful. There might be hope for me, for Winston and me.

Winston said he was going to wait in the library for me. It’s empty apart from him and another girl sitting in the corner but he doesn’t notice me when I walk in. He’s got his head in his hands and a textbook on the table, it looks like biology so I think I came back at just the right time, he always gets annoyed over biology.

I walk up behind him, put my hands on his shoulders and he jumps. He whips his head around, stares at me and then he scoffs. “Fuck, don’t do that!” he tells me off. I let go of him and then I slide into the chair next to him. I’m smiling and suddenly he is too. “So? It went well, right?”

“I think so?” I say and I lean forward. He leans in too, closes his eyes and kisses me gently before pulling away again. It might be empty here, but it feels great to be able to do this out in public. 

“You think so?” Winston asks me and I shrug. 

“She said she’ll be in touch and that she’ll contact me, she wants me to go over there and like check the place out or something, meet the football team and all that bullshit,” I say simply. And there was also the matter of my grades, she said that my English grade had ‘potential’. I’m at a B but if I can get to an A then it would be great. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an A.

“You idiot,” Winston says and he hits me on the shoulder. Oh God, how did I mess up this time? I raise an eyebrow in question and he shakes his head. “You got in, okay? They wouldn’t say that unless they didn’t want you. Okay? You got in.” He repeats the last part slowly like it’s finally getting to him that we’re gonna be out of here, living together.

He sighs and I grin at him. “So do you wanna make a schedule for washing dishes now?” I ask. I literally hate cleaning up or doing anything in the house. However, I love the thought of just doing any of those things with him like cooking together (even though neither of us can cook) or even cleaning our bedroom together. Can high school just be over already?

“Oh no, now way,” Winston says. He starts to put his textbook back in his backpack and then he smiles. “We’re getting a dishwasher for sure, I don’t trust you to wash the dishes properly.” I scoff, I can wash dishes… kind of. He can’t talk, I bet he’s never had to clean in his entire life with maids all over the place.

He stands up, pats my shoulder and tells me to get up. I shrug the blazer off and I throw it over my shoulder after standing up. “Can I have my flannel back now?” I ask him and Winston rolls his eyes.

“You love that flannel more than you love me,” he jokes and then he rummages inside his bag for the flannel he confiscated from me this morning, he’s been holding onto it since. I take my tie off too, shove it into my pocket and Winston throws the flannel in my face.

I came prepared, I had a T-shirt under the white collared shirt so I can easily take that off and throw my flannel on instead. The girl sitting in the corner is giving me weird looks, I mean I am getting undressed in the library but I’m not naked.

“Come on,” Winston says and then he takes my hand and starts dragging me towards the exit. We talk about the camping trip as we walk to his car. It’s tomorrow and I have to be in school by eight in the morning, won’t be back until Sunday afternoon. I don’t like the idea of being away from home for so long right now, I don’t want my dad doing something while I’m gone. At least Estella will be able to tell me if something’s going on.

“What time should I pick you up tomorrow?” he asks me once we’re in the car putting our seatbelts on. So he’s gonna drive. Again. 

I frown. “Is something wrong with my car?” He’s been the one driving for like the past week or so, usually we switch or it’s mostly just me driving. I get that the Jeep isn’t perfect but I take care of it, I’m actually kind of proud of it.

“What?” Winston asks me and he tilts his head to the side. 

“You… Don’t you like the Jeep? You haven’t been letting me drive and I don’t really understand why.” I say and his brow furrows. Yes okay, his car is nicer but it’s starting to make me feel like shit when he’s driving and I just sit there like a dummy. 

“If you want to drive-” Winston says and he holds his keys out to me. “Go ahead.” But it isn’t really about that and he knows that, he’s playing dumb for some reason. 

For the sake of not starting a fight over something this stupid, I take the keys from him and we swap seats. Winston hums to himself absentmindedly and he looks out of the window. But before I can start the car, he turns to me.

“Gas is expensive,” he says and he looks away. “I don’t want you to have to drive me everywhere and then pay for it too.” So there’s my explanation. And I could argue that he’s doing the same thing, driving me places and then paying for it but at least he can afford it.

“Okay,” I say quietly and then my hand ends up on his knee and I lean in to place a kiss on his cheek. He sighs in relief like he's happy we've avoided an argument and he smiles at me. Slowly I'm starting to understand why he does certain things. 

***

It would have been smart to go to sleep last night, but instead, I stayed up all night talking to Estella. She was more excited than me to hear about the college and how I'm going to be moving in with Winn. Estella made me promise to keep an eye on Scott and she'll keep an eye on mom. 

“Who kept you up all night?” Winston asks and he eyes me up and down wearily as we get out of his car. The bus is already here, all the annoying people surrounding it and Charlie is with Zach and Alex. I can’t see Scott yet.

Charlie is only here because the football team wanted him here and most of them are on the baseball team too so we managed to convince the coach to let Charlie come with us, we need our quarterback.

Winston nudges me as we walk to the bus and I realise that he asked a question. He wasn’t with me so he’s probably wondering why I look so tired. “Just talked with Estella all night,” I explain simply. Stayed up talking about him and I got too excited to sleep.

After putting our backpacks away, we need to find our names on this list that tells us which bus we’re on. Fortunately, we’re on the same bus and we find Diego sitting by himself at the back. Elio isn’t coming on the trip and Charlie and his boyfriends are on a different bus so it looks like it’ll just be us three until Scott arrives. I saw Scott’s name on our list.

“So did you get that scholarship?” Diego asks me and he stares at me hopefully. He’s helped out so he obviously wants to know if he helped out enough. Winston sits by the window because he prefers the view and he’s letting me talk to Diego without interrupting.

“I will, don’t worry about it,” I say and Diego nods unsurely. I don’t wanna think about what will happen if I don’t get the scholarship. 

We have to wait another ten minutes for everyone else to arrive and Scott is one of those people. He tells us that he slept in and then he couldn’t find his sleeping bag. I might have believed him if he didn’t smell like my sister. No wonder she was so eager to get me out of the house.

I try to stay awake and talk with the guys but slowly, I lean more towards Winston and I can’t help it that his shoulder is so comfortable. The voices fade into the distance, Winston puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer to him. Don’t blame me for falling asleep.

When I wake up, we still have about half an hour until we get there. Scott has fallen asleep on Diego and so Diego and Winston are having a conversation without us.

“What you talking about?” I ask them and I stretch. Great, no my neck feels stiff and weird. Just great.

Winston rolls his shoulders back and he grunts. “About how heavy your head is,” he says and he starts to massage the shoulder that I just spent hours sleeping on. Diego laughs at us and then he goes to stare at Scott realising that his shoulder is gonna hurt like a bitch too.

“Sorry,” I mutter and I kiss Winn’s shoulder even though I know that’s not gonna do much. He still smiles and then he puts his head on my shoulder. 

Then even though Winston tells us not to, Diego and I think of ways to wake Scott up. I’m kinda missing Charlie, wish he was here with us but now he’s got not one but two boyfriends to worry about so I guess I’ll give him a pass for leaving us this one time. 

“Monty…” Winn says but I’ve already got the black marker in my hand and Scott should really think twice before falling asleep around us.

Diego doesn’t move a muscle to make sure that Scott doesn’t wake up and then I lean forward in my seat and stretch my arm out towards him. Good thing we’re sitting at the back or Clay’s mom would already be telling me off.

Diego laughs when he sees what I’m writing and Winston tries to look over to see too.  **‘DE LA CRUZ PROPERTY** ’ I write. There isn’t enough room on his big ass forehead so it has to go on his left cheek a bit. Estella has him whipped, he deserves it for lying about waking up late.

When he wakes up, no one tells him he’s got black marker on his face even though Winston can barely keep a straight face while Scott is talking to me.

Everyone stares at him when we get off the bus and Scott finally realises that something is up. “You fucker!” he shouts when he sees his reflection in the bus window. I’m trying to get mine and Winston’s bags from the storage compartment in the bus and he gives me a hard push almost making me fall over.

“Is it permanent?” he asks me and he pulls his phone out to check what he looks like in the camera. Honestly, I didn’t check. It should come off somehow though, right?

I shrug and Scott stares at me in disbelief. He calls me an idiot when he walks by and he goes over to Diego to ask for help with removing the writing on his face.

“Oops?” I say when Winston joins my side and shakes his head at me. He takes his backpack from me and he sighs.

“You couldn’t have apologised?” he asks and he nudges my side. We have to line up by the bus and let them count us all. It’s like they think someone would jump out of the bus and leave mid-journey.

Scott glares at me when Mrs Jensen asks him why he’s got marker on his face. Permanent marker it turns out. He tried to take it off but all it did was smudge slightly. I can’t help but grin. Let me mess about those last few months of school, alright?

“Do you know how to set up a tent?” Winston asks me when they finally let us go to set up. I’m carrying it and it’s kinda heavy and Winston still wants to go closer to the trees so I have to follow him around until he finds a place for us to set up. 

“Kind of,” I lie. I’ve never set up a tent. I’ve been ‘camping’ several times when I was hiding from my dad but that just included a sleeping bag, no tent. 

I struggle putting it up, it won’t even unfold properly even when I hold it down to make sure it stays where it is. It’s supposed to be one of those pop-up tents so Winston said it should be easy. Easy my ass.

“Hey! What has the poor tent done to you?” Winston shouts when I get slightly frustrated and start kicking that motherfucker. How is everyone else doing it so easily? Scott and Diego are setting up next to us and they’re almost finished. 

“It’s not even working,” I sulk and I give the tent one last kick just because it deserves it. Here I am making a fool out of myself in front of Winston because it won’t even stay up properly.

Scott finally takes pity on me and decides to help us out. I have to sit this one out, sitting on the side while Scott, Diego and Winston set the tent up for us. Scott still has the marker on his face which makes this so much more fun.

Scott has to stick with Diego for now because Charlie left us for his boyfriends once again. I search for his tent and there he is. Zach is teasing him and Alex is laughing at both of them. I thought it would look different, like one of them getting left out but they actually seem to be making it work. It’s nice to see Charlie happy.

“You’re welcome,” Scott then says pulling me away from staring at the polyamorous couple. The tent is all done, Winston is already going inside and Diego is going back to his own tent.

“Thank-”

“Now excuse me while I go scrub this shit off my face,” Scott says and he wacks the back of my head as he walks by. Okay, I deserved that one.

***

After moving in, we were supposed to have lunch but they haven’t even organised anything yet so we were forced to eat outside our tents. Not that I minded because now I’ve got Winston laying in my lap and feeding me with those miniature meatballs that Diego brought with him. Like seriously, who brings miniature meatballs on a camping trip?

Scott got rid of the marker on his face, the girls took pity on him and scrubbed it off for him. Won’t be telling Estella about this.

Winston brought his camera, he occasionally takes pictures of us and he even lets Scott take some for a moment. It’s good like this, even if we’re missing Charlie, it’s still fun. Someone should just go over there and drag Charlie here.

"I need the bathroom but I'm scared," Diego then says. He's saying what the rest of us are too scared to say. I think I'll just go piss in the bushes because no way I'm gonna be using the communal bathrooms. 

"It's just a bathroom," I say and then Winston shoves another meatball in my mouth to shut me up. 

"A dirty bathroom," Diego corrects me and he looks around. “Someone come with me.” I don’t move a muscle apart from my jaw to chew the food. Scott sighs and begins to stand up. 

"I'll wait for you if you wait for me," Scott says and he wipes his hands on his jeans. Diego doesn't even need to consider it for a second, he stands up and then they walk away together in search of the bathroom.

"I like Diego," Winston says absentmindedly and he takes a meatball for himself. I like Diego too but we don't really hang out, we didn't use to. We were just teammates but turns out I don't mind having him around especially when there's a spot to be filled now that Charlie is gone. Hopefully not for long. 

Scott and Diego finally come back looking equally as disgusted. I can't help but tease them.

"So how was it?" I ask when they sit down. Winston takes his hand sanitizer out of his pocket and throws it to Diego. They jump at it like its gold or something. 

"Fucking disgusting," Scott mutters and he shakes his head not wanting to talk about it. 

"Next time I'm taking a shit in the bushes," Diego says and I suddenly lose my appetite. I spit the rest of the meatball out into the plastic bag Winston brought for our trash 

"Are there any mirrors?" Winston asks because that's what's important to him. I bet half of his bag is packed with hair products.

"Aww, how are you gonna do your hair? What a tragedy," I tease him and I mess his hair up even more at which he swats my hand away. 

I shouldn't have teased him because as soon as it's time to sit around the fire, everyone is getting ready in their tents and Winston makes me hold the mirror up for him for hours. Of course he brought a mirror. 

"My arms are aching," I say. I've seen him do this hair, takes about ten to fifteen minutes and I've been standing here for almost half an hour now. 

"Tough," he says and he slowly pats his hair down. Okay, I learned my lesson, I'll never make fun of his hair ever again. 

He makes me stand there for like another two minutes until I distract him by nudging his knee. "Are you done yet?" I ask and he doesn't reply. "You look really pretty, let's go." 

He doesn't even object when I put the mirror down because he's all flustered from the compliment and his face is red. 

When we come out of the tent we see that Diego and Scott are close by so we catch up to them and the four of us walk to camp together. There's only a few seats left on the dirty logs but then I look over to my left and there's Charlie grinning at us and waving us over. 

He's obviously sat with Zach and Alex but the log that he's sitting on is almost empty so we walk over and sit down. Winston sits next to me with his leg on top of mine and Scott and Diego sit next to him. 

"Hey, good to see you," I say to Charlie and he beams. He can't honestly think that we don't miss having him around. 

Mrs Jensen and Alex's cop dad start this stupid thing before Charlie can reply. They pass this giant shell around, making everyone say one thing that they're looking forward to after high school.

When it finally reaches our group, Scott is first to go. He looks around the group and then grins at me. "Looking forward to being part of the de la Cruz family," he tells me and then he winks at me. As if he isn't family already.

"Don't push it," I say which makes the people around us laugh. It's payback for the writing on his face, I'm sure of it. 

Diego says something about being excited for college because he doesn't like to share stuff about himself and then the shell gets passed to Winston. 

He holds the shell in his hand and smiles down at it before looking up to meet my eye. "I'm looking forward to living with my boyfriend," he says quietly and everyone starts awing at us and shit. I feel my face heating up and I look down at my feet. 

"Monty, your turn!" Charlie says, encouraging me to take the shell. It was him who started the awing and I glare at him for a second. 

"He speaks for both of us," I say and I grab the shell from Winston's hands. I think about passing it to Charlie but then something else pops into my head. I pause. "And I'm looking forward to… being happy?" 

Mrs Jensen gives me a big smile that I roll my eyes at, they didn't do anything to help me when I needed help. Her son knew damn well what was going on with me and yeah, I probably wouldn't have let them help but it would have been nice to know that someone cared.

The rest of the evening drags on, with people talking and then we go on to share our favourite high school memories. I don't have many of those. At some point, someone mentions Hannah Baker and it all goes quiet and the cop tries to lift the mood by singing a song. Barely anyone joins in and then we get sent to bed. This trip is a disaster.

It's much more fun in the dark with all the lanterns lighting up, people laughing and messing about in the dark. It gets us all in a good mood. 

I had to go piss and when I come back to the tent, Winston is already changed and going into his sleeping bag. I just watch him for a couple of seconds knowing that he’s mine and it's fun seeing him do all this normal stuff like just going to bed because no one else gets to see this. 

"I could really do with a shower," I say and I crawl over to my own sleeping bag. Already kind of thought about having sex with him here but there's not much privacy, we're both dirty and it would be impossible to clean up after. I think I'll pass. 

"Me too," Winston says sleepily and then he moves his sleeping bag closer to mine. "I'm cold." it's actually warmer than I thought it would be but if Winn says he's cold then he's cold. 

"C'mere," I say and I throw my arm over his shoulder. He snuggles up to me and smiles. I like to think that this is what it's gonna look like in a few months time except we'll be sleeping in a bed, not in a tent. 

"Did you mean what you said?" Winston asks quietly and he looks up at me while I reach for the electric lantern to turn it off. 

"About what?" I ask. Then one click and we're laying in total darkness. It's quiet all around apart from laughter in the distance, sounds like Charlie. 

"About being happy with me. Do I really make you happy?" he asks me and he looks at me with wide eyes. He must be stupid if he hasn't figured that out by now. Unless he really just wants to hear me say it. 

"You make me happy, okay?" I say quietly and I kiss his forehead making sure to push the hair away. I never really imagined myself settling down with someone just because it seemed so unrealistic to think that I'd find someone who wouldn't be scared of me, someone who actually loved me and always supported me. He's everything I ever wanted. 

"Good," Winston says with a small smile. "Because you make me happy too. Now sleep, I don't want you falling asleep tomorrow."

"Yes sir," I say and he rolls his eyes at me and calls me an idiot. "Goodnight," I say while moving around to get comfortable with Winston still laying on my chest.

"Mhm… I love you," he mumbles and then he’s falling asleep in my arms.

***

Washing our faces with bottled fucking water, it doesn’t get worse than that. 

“Now,” Scott says and I squeeze the bottle in his face. He’s got his eyes squeezed shut and then he rubs his hands across his wet face. No one wants to use those dirty bathrooms so everyone is outside trying to come up with a way to clean themselves.

“I’m running out of wipes,” Winston complains as he rubs his arm with the baby wipe. Scott and I are using bottled water, Winston and Diego settled on the baby wipes but it’s still nothing compared to a shower.

“Do I look clean?” Scott asks me after drying his face off with a paper towel. I quickly check his face and nod.

“Do I?” I ask him and he nods too. You’d think the school would at least be able to provide us with some warm clean water but we’re on our own on this one. At least the trip was free and it’s better than doing boring maths.

“I think I might shower,” Winston then says and he looks at me. Is he really willing to risk it? He's terrified of bugs and all the other mutations that might live in those showers. Even Diego and Scott aren't willing to go there. 

I raise an eyebrow at Winston. "You sure?" I ask him while Scott squeezes water in my hands and I make sure to wash them. I get some water on my jeans and I don’t bother with the paper towels, I just shake them dry.

“Yes? Come with me,” Winn says and he stands up. I should have known he’d drag me with him. But it’s not like I can say no. So I wait outside with the guys while Winston goes to grab his bag.

“It’s just a bathroom,” Diego mutters to himself in a squeaky voice and then he rolls his eyes at me. “You didn’t go with me when I asked you to.” Looks like someone's jealous. Scott laughs at him and pats him on the back.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Winston says when he comes back and he goes to stand next to me. Scott and Diego try to explain to us where the bathrooms are and then we set off, walking down the path and looking for the cabins.

There’s no queue outside or nothing because no one wants to come anywhere near this mess. Winston already looks like he’s gonna puke and he glances at me nervously.

“So?” I ask. He really doesn’t have to go in there, I feel like he’ll come out dirtier rather than cleaner. `

He shifts from foot to foot and then takes a deep breath. “Guard the door,” he says and then he goes inside before he can change his mind. About a minute or two I finally hear the sound of water hitting the floor and I pull my phone out of my pocket.

Estella has sent me a message but just to ask if I’m having fun. I guess. It’s boring just having to stand out here but whatever, I’ll let Winn shower.

After ten minutes or so, some guy starts walking up the path already looking nervous and then even more so when I step to the side to block the door for him.

“Hey-”

“My boyfriend’s in there,” I tell him. I don’t know what Winn meant by guarding the door so I’m just doing my job.

The guy chuckles nervously. “It’s fine man, there’s three showers in there,” he tells me and I cross my arms over my chest. I don’t have to say a word, I just raise one eyebrow at him and off he goes, back to wherever he came from.

***

A quest? Do they think we’re five or something? The only one who looks slightly interested in it is Charlie and he’s basically a child so that proves my point.

“How does this map even work?” Winston says and he turns the map around, stares and then rotates it again like that’s gonna help.

We had to split into pairs so it’s only natural that I went with him. Charlie paired up with Scott which pissed Diego off but he managed to partner up with Luke. 

I let Winston lead and tell us where we need to be going but he seems to be more lost than I am and he looks at the map every two seconds. I don’t speak at all, I already know that I could ask him if he’s okay and he’d get annoyed with me.

“I give up,” he says after about two minutes of walking. I knew it was gonna happen. He’s already frowning and rolling his eyes at the map so I take it out of his hands and stop us in the middle of the path.

“Do you actually wanna do this stupid thing?” I ask him and I place my hands on his shoulders. There’s an audible scream in the distance and I’m pretty sure that it’s Scott but I block it out. 

Winston sighs. “Do you?” And then when I make it clear that I don’t with only one look, he nods. “Yeah, me neither,” he admits so I fold up the map and stuff it into my back pocket. We’re probably gonna get lost.

Nevertheless, I still continue walking, straight forward then we take a left then down the path and then right until we’re met with what looks like a beach or something. There’s a wooden boat and oars by the side but I’m not touching it, I don’t feel like drowning today.

“This is nice,” Winston says and he kicks the sand with his shoes. “Better than that stupid quest.” He’s just in a bad mood because of the shower, the water was cold and according to him, it smelled kind of weird in there so now he just wants to go home.

“Let’s just stay here for a bit and then go back to the tent,” I say and I slowly sit down on the sandy part. How long is this quest even meant to take? Hopefully not long, I’m already waiting for lunch to come around.

Winston hesitates and then he reluctantly sits down next to me. He looks around, focuses on the calm water and closes his eyes. "You know, it feels kind of weird," he says and a smile creeps onto his face. 

"Weird how?" I ask him. It better be the good kind of weird whatever he's feeling.

He shrugs and opens his eyes to focus on the water again. "Think about it. We're gonna be living together. Like, it's actually getting serious now," he says and he blushes. He just realised now? 

"Yeah, you better not be thinking about leaving me," I say and I take his hand and move my thumb across his knuckles. His hand is cold but he's smiling at me as I warm his hand up in mine.

"I'm not," he says with this grin on his face as he stares at my face. "It would be awkward having to live with you if we broke up," he then adds and I roll my eyes at him. Breaking up is no longer an option for us, I don't think we could stay away from each other for longer than an hour. 

"Okay but just think about it," Winston continues and he grins at me, raises his eyebrows and laughs. "It's gonna be our place, just for us and we can do it however we like…" He goes on talking about all the different ideas he has for the apartment and I just listen, knowing that this is a reality and I no longer have to worry about all the things I worried about a few months ago. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed that :)  
> good news, focusing entirely on this story for now and it should be finished either this week or next week


	17. Father's Son

**Chapter Seventeen**

I actually did get that scholarship in the end. I had to go over to the college for like a day and a half, get to know the team, see how it all works and then I got my scholarship. I'm not gonna lose it now. 

School is becoming slightly less boring now, it's all about prom, graduation and college now, no one gives a shit about high school anymore. There's a new party almost every day, people coming to watch the baseball games in groups and we're learning absolutely nothing in lessons. I'm still trying to improve my grades though.

We didn't really have any plans for this weekend and Winston wanted to get started on the apartment so put two and two together and guess what we're doing. 

"Open that window, it's so stuffy in here," Winston says. We're trying to pack up his room and even though it's only May, it's scorching hot outside. I don't know how I'm gonna keep playing baseball in this heat. 

I have to get off the bed, walk over to the window and pull it wide open while he stays on the bed and looks through his stuff, sorting them into the box if he wants to take them with us. 

When I come back and look inside one of the boxes on the bed, I find a picture frame with a photo of a younger version of Winn, middle schoolish. I smile at the picture and then I reach for the bubble wrap. 

"Hey, you look cute here," I say and I hold it up. He looks up from whatever he's doing and frowns at the picture. 

"What are you doing? We're not taking that," he says and he laughs. He tries to lean forward to grab the photo away from me but I take it out of his reach.

"Yes, we are," I say and I start wrapping it up in the bubble wrap. I've seen the baby pictures downstairs but not this one and he looks cute. It would be a shame to leave it here to collect dust.

"Fine," Winston says and a smile creeps up on his face. "Then we're taking a picture of you too." He's grinning and I try to smile back but I'm not very good at it. I look down at my hands and I finish wrapping the photo frame in silence. 

"Did I say something wrong?" Winston asks me, leaning forward and putting the box to the side. I shake my head and clear my throat. 

"It's just that there's not many baby pictures of me," I say. Maybe there are some of when I was a little kid but not many after that. My parents weren't ones to frame my sports achievements and hang them up on the walls. They didn't come to my football games, didn't take pictures of me with a fake gold medal around my neck… I just sat at the side and waited for Bryce's parents to ask me if I need a lift home. 

Winston offers me a sympathetic smile and he goes back to looking through his stuff because there's not much he can say. 

I end up looking through another box of his stuff, it's like his childhood all packed away in one box. Storybooks, toy soldiers, stuffed toys and all that other bullshit that I wished I had as a kid but didn't. 

"Are you keeping any of it?" I ask him and I look through the books, glancing at titles and how they're all in perfect condition. The few books that I did have as a kid, I always managed to ruin them and they ended up getting thrown out because I scribbled in them. My dad never got me any toys again.

“Nah, I’ll just let my parents store it in the attic,” he says and so the box gets thrown onto the left side of the room where all the stuff that he’s not taking are.

It takes us hours to finish because Winston gets emotional over his turtlenecks when he starts looking through them and deciding which ones he wants to keep and which one should go to charity. He doesn’t like parting with his clothes so I just told him he can take as many clothes as he like, I don’t really care about closet space for myself.

Even though I did most of the heavy lifting, he said he was exhausted and we spent the rest of the day laying in bed with his laptop resting in my lap and his favourite Thai food on the side. 

He presses his cheek to my neck and keeps squirming so that I can’t even concentrate on the film just as it was getting interesting as well. I click my tongue at him and tighten my grip on his hip which only makes him giggle.

“Stop moving, you’re distracting,” I tell him off and I move my shoulders slightly to get comfortable on the pillows. My arms are tired from all the work today and his shifting around doesn’t help.

“No,  _ you’re _ distracting,” he says and he crawls on top of me, sliding the laptop off my lap at the same time. 

"I was watching that!" I protest but he just grins at me and shifts in my lap until I feel something hard poking at my thigh. "For fuck's sake... " I say and even though I roll my eyes, I can't help but grin. 

I've been focusing on the movie this entire time, not even paying attention to him or the way I was making circles with my thumb on his hip. I forgot how quickly he gets turned on. 

"So?" he asks moving his hands to rest on my shoulders. He leans down to press his body to mine and his face hovers above mine. 

"So... " I say and I raise one eyebrow. He's already on top, my muscles are sore from all the lifting so I wouldn't mind him being in control for once. "What do you wanna do?" I ask him. 

But turns out he doesn't wanna be on top, he wraps one leg around my hip and he tries to flip us over. Of course he's not strong enough to do that so I help out, pressing him down and getting on top. The one time that I want him to be on top, he’d rather let me take control.

“Up to you,” Winston says while slowly moving one finger from my arm all the way down to my wrist. It's boiling hot but I shiver from his touch. 

I lean down, his eyes flutter and I kiss him gently making sure to hold onto his hip with one hand and tangle my other hand into his hair. 

"We can go slow," he says in a low voice and rests his hands on both of my arms. We can always go slow, we just choose not to because we're both horny and it doesn't take much for us to finish. He  _ wants _ to go slow.

I pull away to tug the T-shirt over his head and he's biting his lip nervously, looking me in the eye. Only when I lean down to kiss him I notice that his heart is hammering inside his chest. 

"What's wrong?" I ask him and he laughs nervously and rubs his hands up and down my back, pressing down around my shoulder blades. 

"I don't know," he says and he presses his lips together. "Just kinda nervous." We've done this like a billion times, how can he be nervous? I laugh at him and ruffle his hair when he flushes red. 

"You're adorable," I say which makes him roll his eyes and smile shyly. He said he wanted to go slow but he wastes no time, he grinds against my upset thigh and I’m alrready half hard. He's the reason why we can never go slow. 

I have to pull away from kissing him so he can take off my T-shirt. There's one less item of clothing to be removed because it was too warm to keep my flannel on, it's somewhere on his chair. 

"Pants," I say and I pull away again to catch my breath. His lips are plump and red and he licks over them. Everything he does is hot. 

I move away to stand at the foot of the bed to give him some space. He won't look away from me as I'm unbuckling my jeans and he does the same, reaching for his belt, unbuckling it and then tugging them down. They get stuck at his ankles so I help pull them up, lifting his legs and tugging at them until they're off. 

He's giggling again, trying to pull me back towards him but I've still got to take my jeans off. Once they’re off and resting somewhere on the floor, I sharply pull his boxers down leaving him completely naked and exposed and very very hard. 

I look down at him, raise one eyebrow and he blushes bright red. “Shut up, it’s your fault,” he mumbles and then I’m back on top of him, naked too so he doesn’t feel alone. I’m such a good boyfriend.

Here I was thinking I was in control, having him pinned down to the mattress and leaving marks all over his neck and jaw. I like people knowing that he’s mine. But then he grins like he’s up to something. 

I don’t know what he’s up to until there’s a hand touching my cock and then a moment later, he’s got both of our dicks pressed against each other in one hand and he slowly,  _ slowly _ strokes both of us at the same time.

“Win…” I have to take a moment to contain myself and try not to focus on what’s happening down there except the feeling is too good to ignore. I slightly move my hips, getting my friction and he throws his head back and groans.

He keeps going at this mind-numbing pace, leaving both of us breathless. It isn’t until the head of his cock brushes against mine and I breathe it sharply that I realise what I’m doing. I’m supposed to be fucking him and going ‘slow’.

I try to flip him around on his stomach but he pushes me away, tells me that he wants to stay where he is. “I can go in deeper from behind,” I say and he pretends to think it over but he’s already made his mind up. A few moments later, he’s on his hands and knees in front of me, arching his back and trying to push back against me.

“You said slow, remember?” I remind him and he curses under his breath already regretting offering to go slow. But if he wants slow then I’ll give him slow. I leave him on the bed, all pretty and ready for me to go searching for the lube. 

We were cleaning out his cupboards and everything else but we didn’t touch the nightstand. The lube isn’t where it usually is. I glance at him but he’s turned away from me. Eventually, I find it in the last drawer under a bunch of folded-up socks. 

“Hiding lube now, are we?” I ask him when I get behind him and he laughs shakily. I place my hands on his hips, keeping him in place and making sure he doesn’t move.

“Did you enjoy the treasure hunt?” he asks cheekily and I smack his hip. Not harshly but not gently either and judging by the noise he makes, he enjoys it. “Here, you can do it yourself,” I say and I throw the lube so that it lands next to his head. If he wants to be difficult then fine, I can be difficult too.

He squirts the liquid into his hand, lubes up two fingers and then reaches in between his legs to push two fingers inside. He’s already stretched out from a couple of nights ago when I went rough on him. I was pissed off after losing a game of baseball and Winston offered himself as a distraction.

I watch as his fingers disappear behind the ring if muscles only to reappear a moment after. He adds another finger, curses under his breath and goes in knuckles deep. He grinds down on his fingers and moans helplessly obviously having found his favourite spot.

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on, everything he does turns me on. “Okay, enough,” I say and I clear my throat realising how dazed I sound. Keep it together, you’ve seen his ass a million times, no need to be dramatic.

I grab his hands by the wrist and I pin them to his back, holding him still with one hand while he squirms in my grip.

“I don’t wanna go slow anymore,” he says desperately but I take my sweet time to lube myself up and make sure every inch of my cock is covered and dripping with lube.

“No, it’s okay,” I say now enjoying myself even more than before. It was reckless of him to even think about going slow. “There’s no rush,” I say and with one thrust of my hips, I push only the head past the tight ring of muscle.

He breaths in through his nose and waits, his legs tense up and he tries to grab at my hands with his own. He’s waiting for more, panting heavily and trying his best to struggle against my grip so he can move back against me. And then I pull out.

“Monty,” Winn groans at me in frustration. He hangs his head low, his hair already damp with sweat. “Please?” he asks sweetly hoping to get to me somehow. 

“Please?” I repeat after him but I’m not sure how long I can keep the teasing up before I desperately need to fuck him.

“You know I need you,” he says and my grip must have loosened because he pushes back and tries to get my cock inside of him. All that earns him is another smack on the hip.

“Just stay still,” I say gently and I place a kiss in the place where there’s a red mark from my hand. He listens to me just like I hoped he would and I push just the tip in again. My cock twitches slightly at the sudden friction and I squeeze the base to keep myself in check.

He stays right where he is and I push in fully making both of us groan in the process. While squeezing his hips, I pull back out and go in only this time harder and faster. Winn is trying his best not to move but his hands keep twitching like he wants to touch himself but I’m not letting him.

The squirming gets worse when I eventually find his prostate and I keep hitting it dead on making him shudder and yelp every time. I need to keep one hand restraining his hands but I use the other one to reach around and wrap my hand around his dick. 

It gets messy not having my hand holding onto his hip so my thrusts get sloppy, occasionally pulling out fully and just sliding up between his cheeks. He groans at me like he thinks I’m teasing him on purpose every time. So I can either let go of his cock or he’s gonna have to deal with the sloppy thrusts. It’s either this or that, he can’t have both.

He presses his face into the pillow when I pick up the pace, going faster and faster until my legs ache from all the work. He muffles all those needy little sounds he keeps making with the pillow but they’re still great to listen to.

It’s the way he moans my name when he comes that makes me come as well. I slow down, grabbing onto his hips with both my hands now, one which is covered in come but that’s fine, it’s not like he cares. He lays down on the bed, all fucked out and tired and I keep thrusting until he mumbles that he’s sensitive so I have to pull out gently and lay down by his side.

He turns his head to grin at me which is when I notice that my hand is still dirty with dried up come. “Don’t-” Winn tries to stop me but it’s already too late, my hand gets wiped on the bedsheets.

“How was that for slow?” I ask him and he’s still glaring at me for getting his bed sheet dirty. Like they didn’t need changing anyway.

“I don’t think going slow is our thing,” he says. Now this is the part where I’m supposed to get up and get him a towel so he can clean himself off but instead he lifts my arm, snuggles into my chest and then kisses my neck.

“Are you staying over?” Winston asks me. It shouldn’t even be a question, we rarely spend time away from each other. Like Scott says, we’ve grown attached at the hip.

***

So I might not have let Winston uses his hands last night (which saved me the trouble of having my back scratched up) but then when we went to shower together, he left hickeys and bite marks all over my chest and neck. They’re not exactly easy to hide.

“Someone’s giving it good,” Charlie says when I come out of the shower after practice. I only have a towel wrapped around my hips so everything else is on show and everyone’s staring now.

Scott sprays himself with that disgusting body spray that I choke on every time and he grins. “Nah… Someone’s  _ getting _ it good,” he says and he laughs when I push him on my way to my locker. “Are you dating a vampire or something?”

“Haha, very funny,” I mutter but I let it go. There’s a reason why Scott is in a good mood and he doesn’t know that I already know why. I’m waiting for him to tell me but he puts his clothes on in silence and I talk to Charlie instead.

Unlike Scott, he doesn’t point out the obvious bite marks on my neck and wants to know about the apartment instead.

“We’ve packed up… most of our stuff,” I say. There’s not much I have to take, I don’t own anything that valuable. “We’re probably gonna start moving in after graduation.” We promised we’d focus on school now until summer and then we’ve got the summer to ourselves to do whatever we like. He’s already talked about wanting to spend the whole summer travelling, it’s like all he talks about.

Even though I know he means well, I can’t help but feel shit about it. He wants to show me the world and the best I can do is take him out sometimes. I’d get a job if I wasn’t so busy with baseball. 

Once Scott and I are the only ones left in the changing room, he glances at me nervously and coughs. “So I don’t know if you’ve heard…” he says and he shoves all his clothes into his gym bag. I have heard. The minute I came home this morning, Estella harassed me at the door to show me the prom dress. She dragged me to her room, told me all about Scott asking her to prom and the dress he bought for her. 

“Heard what?” I ask. Scott better know that if he wants me to know something then he’s gonna have to tell me himself instead of using my sister to tell me. Not that he has, just making sure it doesn’t happen. 

“Erm… I’m taking ‘Stella to prom,” he says and then he crosses his arms over his chest. Seriously, is he really trying to act tough in front of me? I laugh at him and he loses all the confidence he has left.

“Relax,” I say and I pat his shoulder. He flinches like he expected me to hit him for asking my sister to prom or something, I’ve gotten over it a long time ago. As long as Estella’s happy.

“So what about Winston?” Scott asks me and he flings his gym bag over his shoulder and follows me out of the locker room. The hallways are empty and I’m driving home, Winston couldn’t stay back and wait for me because he had some ‘assignment’ he had to finish.

“What about him?” I promised Scott I’ll take him home and Charlie probably got a ride from Zach like he always does so it’s just gonna be me and Scott today, We walk down the silent hallway and Scott looks at me and raises one eyebrow.

“Prom? Aren’t you gonna ask him?” Scott asks and I shrug. I don’t know if prom is his kinda thing, it’s in a few weeks and he hasn’t said a word about it so my guess is he either doesn’t care about it or he wants me to think he doesn’t. 

“You better ask him or I will,” Scott says and he nudges my side. “I’ll go with both him and Estella and you’ll be sat at home with-”

“Okay, calm down,” I say and we push the doors open to go outside. My car is one of the few left in the parking lot and we make our way towards it. “I just don’t know…. How to ask.” I don’t wanna be cringe about it but I don’t just wanna drop it into conversation like it’s nothing.

“If you want then Charlie and I can help. And Diego,” Scott says simply and he gets into my car. “Whatever you’re planning, we’ve got your back.” I stay still for a second, taking it all in. They’re not just my team, they’re my family too and I never thought I’d have a family like I do now. 

“If I think of something, I’ll let you know,” I say. Winn has done so much for me, the least I could do is do this for him. 

Prom is all I can think about on my way to Winston’s house after dropping Scott off. He came up with a few ideas like asking Winston after a baseball game and using the team to do it but I’m still thinking it over.

I park the car outside and I see that the light is on inside. Good, he’s still home. I would have texted him to ask but I didn’t even know I was coming here until I found myself in his driveway.

“Have you finished your assignment yet?” I ask hen I step into the hallway. I have a key to his house, I can walk in anytime I want. He’s laying down on the floor in the living room and he spins around at the sound of my voice and quickly closes his laptop so I can’t see what he’s doing.

“Um. Yeah,” he says quickly. He puts the laptop on the coffee table and then stands up and walks over to me. I still can’t take my eyes off the laptop wondering why he’s acting so secretive. It’s not that he can’t have his own secrets, I just don’t like that he’s acting weird about it.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Winston asks me and he takes my arm and tried to drag me away from the living room where the laptop is. “We have-”

“What’s going on?” I ask him and he lets go of my arm. He can’t lie to me and I can already see that whatever it is, I should probably know about it. If I let it go now, he’s never gonna tell me. “Winston.”

He sighs, puts his head in his hands and then looks up. “It’s about your dad.”

***

I always knew that my father wasn’t the most law-abiding citizen but I didn’t ever think that he would get in trouble with the authorities. They didn’t give a shit when he beat me, when I turned up at school with bruises but they care about a couple of stolen cars. 

He must have been sloppy if he got caught selling them but I don’t care, he’s not my problem anymore. I wonder if my mother knows and if she does, has she told Estella? We’re probably gonna have to talk about this, maybe even get a lawyer or something to make sure we can stay out of dad’s mess. Winston already said he can help us pay for anything we’ll need.

“I’ll pay you back when I can,” I mumble and Winston scoffs. I’m laying on his chest in complete darkness. He’s been holding me for a few hours now, the curtains are drawn over the windows and all the lights are off because he’s been trying to get me to fall asleep.

“I thought you were asleep,” Winston says softly and he resumes running his fingers through my hair, something he knows always works when he’s trying to get me to sleep. I’ve just been quietly thinking about everything, not sleeping.

And by everything, I mean _ everything _ . “I don’t know… I still think he was a good dad,” I say and Winston stops and tilts his head to the side like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. 

“What?” he asks. Like yeah, of course my dad was a piece of shit but he was brought up to be a homophobic piece of shit. I hate him for everything he put me and Estella through and how he ruined my life multiple times. He was supposed to be my dad.

But I still think he was trying his best, he wanted to raise a ‘man’ in the way that he thought was best. It was outdated and wrong but it doesn’t bother me so much now. Not when I have everything I need right here.

“He was just trying his best, you know,” I say and Winston kinds of hums. He doesn’t reply but I can tell he doesn’t agree with me, he probably hates my dad more than I do. “I’m just worried I’ll end up like him.” I don’t know if I mean that I’ll end up all alone in prison or I’ll be a terrible dad but I’m scared of both know that I think about it.

“You won’t,” Winston reassures me and he resumes to run his fingertips over my scalp. “You’re nothing like him. You’re… kind. And caring. And you love the team, you love helping them out and looking after them. You’d be a great dad.”

So he’s choosing to go down that route. I’ve never really thought about kids, just thought I’d have a wife and a couple of annoying brats that I’d never get the chance to see because I’ll be busy working some boring job.

I wouldn’t say I see myself as ‘kind’, I’ve done some shit that I’m ashamed of, some things I haven’t even told Winston about like the stuff during Bryce’s trail. But I know it wouldn’t change how he feels about me, he’d say that it’s all in the past.

“Thanks,” I say just smiling at the thought of me having a kid, a little Monty Junior to take care of. I stretch, squishing Winston even more but once again, he doesn’t complain. “I’d take him to all the football games around,” I say thinking about being in the audience with him, explaining the basic rules of football.

“Who?” Winston asks and I realise that most of this conversation is happening in my head. 

“Monty Junior,” I say and Winson laughs. 

“Monty Junior? Really?” he says and he rests his hand on the nape of my neck. “I always wanted a girl actually.” 

I smile to myself just thinking about it.”Why can’t we have both?” I ask and I blink rapidly a few times when I notice that they’re starting to feel heavy. “Monty Junior and… Winnie. Could be short for something.”

“Hmm,” Winn says and I focus on the rhythm of his heart, trying my best to stay awake. “Short for Win...Ter?” he suggests and we agree that it’s not a bad idea. 

We don’t have any serious talks about the future, just random talks about anything that pops into mind. I know that he’s trying to distract me and wear me out so I’ll go to sleep. 

I don’t wanna keep him awake and after a while, I close my eyes and drift to sleep dreaming about a football game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if theres mistakes, im tired  
> hope you enjoyed this and the next chapter is just gonna be prom pretty much :)


	18. Never Let Me Go

**Chapter Eighteen**

I never thought having Stiles around would be a good thing. His dad finally let him out of the house and the first thing he did was go running to Winston. He’s not as annoying as I remember him to be. Or maybe I made him annoying in my head to justify hating him but either way, he’s kinda cool now. 

I think I scare him or something, I was in the living room while he talked to Winston and he kept glancing at me even though I was just on my phone texting Diego. I decided to use that to my advantage.

So I may have come up with the perfect way to ask Winston to prom but I can't do it myself. I asked Stiles if he could do me a favour and he was more than eager to say yes when he found out what it was about.

"You sure it's gonna work?" Charlie asks me. I was drunk when I came up with the idea, Scott was drunk too and he said it was a great idea. Charlie was drunk, he said that we were gonna get arrested but that's just the worst-case scenario.

"Yeah…" I say uncertainly and Charlie shakes his head at me. He wants to make sure this goes smoothly and if it wasn't about Winston then I'm sure he wouldn't be helping out but he's a sucker for 'romantic gestures' as he says. 

We’re at my house, making sure that everything is in order and then they have to leave to get ready and I have to go pick up Winston. Estella is with Stiles, babysitting him and making sure he doesn't do anything stupid or back out because he's the most important part of the plan. It won't work without him. 

Believe it or not, Benji is helping out in a way. He approves of the plan, said it sounded crazy but Winston will love it as long as we don't get thrown behind bars. Winston thinks I'm at home doing homework. Prom is next week and I haven't said a word about it to him. 

He's already talked to Benji, asked him if he knew anything like if I had any plans to ask him. Benji acted clueless and now while I'm making sure everything works out, he’s on facetime with Winn making sure that he stays at home and doesn’t think that I’m planning something.

“So who’s punching who?” Scott then asks and both him and Charlie turn to me. We need to distract security somehow and this is the best plan we came up with in such short notice.

“I’ll punch you,” Charlie says and Scott frowns.

“As if! Have you seen how hard our knuckles are?” he says and then he turns to me again. “I’ll punch Charlie. And don’t worry, I won’t do it hard but use that grade eight drama club knowledge for something and act like you’re hurt.”

So then it’s settled, Scott and Charlie leave to go to the funfair and I get ready for my boyfriend. I put on my blue jeans and green flannel with a grey shirt underneath and I don’t really bother with my hair. Worrying about hair is Winn’s job.

I make sure to lock the door and once I’m in the parking lot in my car, I sit there in silence for a few minutes just to think it over again. It’s gonna work, I know it is. Hopefully, Winston doesn’t mind having all this attention on him.

While I’m driving I get a text from Scott to tell me that they’re all inside and everything seems to be looking good. Now all we need is Winston. I park the car outside and I walk up to his door. I could just walk in but I knock and wait. 

It takes him a while to come to the door, he probably had to hang up on Benji and then he’s standing in front of me and looking confused. He stares at me and then he glances at the car parked in the driveway. “Did we have plans?” he asks uncertainly and he starts to chew on his bottom lip. 

“We do now,” I say and he laughs to himself. He’s got a wide grin on his face and he looks back into the living room. He’s starting to figure it out. Did he honestly think that I forgot about prom? 

“Okay, let me just get dressed,” he says and he runs his fingers through his untidy curls. He’s wearing a short-sleeved black turtle neck and grey trousers, he looks more than fine.

“You don’t need to, you already look good,” I say and his face flushes red. He starts to mumble something about his hair but I just step forward and smooth some curls into place making him laugh again. “There. All done.”

He locks the door, doesn’t even take his phone with him and then we get in the car. He’s trying to work out where we’re going. “Where are you taking me?” he asks and he tries to glances at my phone but I turn it off and hide it in my pocket. Winston rolls his eyes at me.

“You’ll find out soon,” I say. My heartbeat quickens as we get closer to our destination, it might not be the same funfair as the last time but it still brings back all those memories. Those are the memories I want to replace.

The place is busy like I thought it would be and it takes us a while to find a place to park in. It’s nowhere near close to the entrance but Winston already worked out where we are from the bunch of posters around us and the music.

He slips his hand into mine and stares at my face. Of course it’s hard to be here knowing that the last time I took him to a carnival I ruined everything and I thought I ruined it for good. I’m lucky Winston gave me another chance.

“I think we forgot to do something the last time,” I say as we walk down the path to the entrance. I can’t see Scott or Charlie or Estella anywhere but I can see the Ferris Wheel and they should be close by.

Winston chuckles when he realises where I’m looking and he nods slowly. “Right… We said the date wouldn’t be complete without it,” he says and hearing those words again… It’s reminding me of that night I tried to forget but I try to focus on what’s happening right now because we’re long past that.

On our way to the queue, I spot the large screen playing all the adverts and shit like that, no one is really paying attention to it so I doubt it will make a difference if we hijack it for a minute or two.

Estella and Stiles are stood close to the control room where they’re in charge of the lights, the music and the large screen here. If this goes wrong then we could maybe cause a blackout at the whole fair. This better not to go wrong.

We’re waiting in the queue, Winston keeps looking around excitedly and talking and I’m looking for Scott and Charlie. Security is still guarding the control room like bodyguards and this whole thing won’t work unless they’re distracted.

“So any reason in particular as to why we’re here?” Winston asks innocently but I think he already knows why we’re here. I shake my head pretending to have no idea what he’s talking about and he rolls his eyes.

We get to the front of the queue and I pay for the tickets while Winston goes to choose a place for us. He sits down in a red cart and moves up to leave some space for me. Then once the carts at the bottom are taken, the wheel starts to move until the empty seats are at the bottom again. 

That’s when I spot Scott and Charlie. Winston doesn’t even realise, he’s too busy taking it all in when Scott pushes Charlie forward. They start shouting at each other until a crowd forms around them. They get the attention of one security guard but one isn’t enough.

The wheel moves again and we’re almost at the top and Stiles isn’t in the control room yet. Scott and Charlie are gonna have to step their game up. 

The guard tries to get to them but the crowd is blocking their way and another security guy joins him. I thought Scott was supposed to punch Charlie but Charlie clearly swings at Scott while he’s in the middle of saying something. Ouch.

Scott doubles over in pain, the wheel stops and we’re one stop away from being right at the top. The security guy says something in his walkie talkie and then Scott does the dumbest thing ever.

“He’s got a gun!” he shouts pointing at Charlie and immediately all the security guards looking after the control room run after the poor guy. I’d laugh if I wasn’t worried about him.

“What’s going on?” Winston asks when he sees that I’m paying attention to what’s happening down below rather than to him.

“Nothing,” I say quickly and then my heart stops when the wheel moves again and we’re right at the top. “Just a fight, I think.”

Winston nods and I look over to the control room. Estella is standing outside but she’s alone. Hopefully, Stiles is inside. I stare at the large screen where an advert for a new ride plays and I realise that Winston keeps glancing at me. Fuck, I’m so stupid.

I don’t waste any more time, I take his face in my hands and I pull him closer. He leans in and kisses me first. We only have a few seconds until the wheels moves again and he tugs at my hair, pulling me close to him. This is what I should have done last time.

“I love you,” I whisper when he gives me room to breathe and then out of the corner of my eye I see that the screen has changed. There’s no advert, just writing.

**_W_ ** **, Will you go to Prom with me?**

_**-M** _

No real names or anything so we don’t get arrested or this will be a night to remember. Stiles really isn’t so bad after all.

The wheel moves down and I nudge Winston who’s waiting for me to kiss him again. “Look,” I say suddenly feeling shy because I really haven’t thought that him saying no would be an option.

He's speechless as the wheel goes down again and then the screen disappears and goes back to adverts. It was only on for a few seconds but it was enough. 

"Monty... " Winston says and he stares at me with wide eyes. He's completely out of it, shocked and unsure of what to do. 

"So what do you say?" I ask him. "Will you go to prom with me?" One of the things I wanted to do with him before we go off to college. I never thought I'd be one of those guys who'd be nostalgic for high school and all these weird traditions but I just wanna do it with Winston. 

"Monty, oh God. Fuck, of course!" he says in a rush and then he kisses me again. His lips stay on mine until the ride stops and I'm fully hard, already wanting more. I need to contain myself, I doubt Winston will want to leave already.

He grins at me when he pulls away and the ride stops, we get out of the cart and he clings onto my arm, giggling when I drag him away from there. 

"Fuck, I hope they didn't get in trouble," I mutter and I look around for my friends and my sister. Scott is speaking to a security guard, probably explaining why he gave everyone a scare but Charlie isn't with him. 

"So? Did I earn the right to be Winston's friend now?" I turn my head at the sound of Stiles' voice. Estella is with him and she shakes her head at me, yeah I bet Stiles was difficult to keep under control. But he did the job, did it perfectly actually.

"Shut up," I say to him. "But thanks." and Stiles grins at me and then at Winston and you know what? Looks like I had the wrong idea about Stiles. 

He nudges my sister, says that it was nice having her around and then he tries to hug her. Estella is having none of it, she steps back and holds her hand out to stop him from coming any closer. 

"I'm with his best friend," Estella says nodding in my direction and Stiles goes pale and forgets about it altogether. 

He mumbles an apology looking red in the face and I keep teasing him along with Winston. Hopefully Scott doesn't mind. 

***

“I get what you mean now,” Scott says and he sniffs at another perfume bottle. He says I have nicer perfumes than him which is why he's using mine and not his. They're all gifts from Winn so of course they’re nice. 

He doesn't elaborate on what he means and instead, he sprays some perfume on his wrist and his collar. God, can Estella get him out of here already? 

“You were saying?” I ask after he puts the perfume back on the shelf. 

Prom night. He's here to pick Estella up but she's not ready yet so he's staying in my room until she is and helping me get ready in the process. Scott has his own expensive suit that Charlie and I helped him pick. I'm just borrowing one but it's not a cheap one. My birthday money came in handy. 

Speaking of Charlie, he got into some trouble for that stunt Scott pulled at the carnival and his dad had to get him out of trouble. At least his dad wasn't bothered enough to stop him from going to prom with his boyfriends. That's right, he's going with both of them. 

“Stiles. The motherfucker’s annoying,” Scott mutters almost to himself and he walks over to stand behind me in the mirror. He puts his hand on my shoulder and distracts me from doing my bowtie properly.

“You’re just saying that because he kept hitting on my sister,” I say absentmindedly because I'm focused on my suit, not Scott's relationship problems. Scott is acting like the overprotective boyfriend again, I think he’s just worried that they won’t work out once he leaves for college. He hasn’t said it out loud but he always gets that look on his face whenever we talk about college. 

“Can you fucking relax? She likes  _ you _ .” I say and Scott sighs. He stands behind me and rests his head on my back. He's getting sentimental, hugging me from behind and I roll my eyes at him. I'd rather not think about what happens after now, Scott is gonna leave for college and I probably won't see him as much now. That's gonna be weird. 

"Why don't you just wear a tie like a normal person?" he asks me and chuckles to himself with the side of his face still touching my back. I'm struggling with the bowtie and Scott reaches around to help me out. 

"I just wanna look good for him," I say. I don't know what Winston's wearing because he won't tell me. He went to pick out a suit a few days ago with Estella and Charlie and they won't tell me anything either. I just know he'll look good too. 

"There. Now you look good," Scott says after fixing the bowtie and making me look decent. He runs his hand over the spikes of my hair, I actually styled it with so much gel that nothing is gonna ruin my hair. 

"I'm ready!" Estella then calls out and she doesn't wait for an answer, she just walks in with her very expensive looking dress. Scott is really spoiling her. She grins at both of us, does a twirl and we stand there speechless. Scott has their stupid grin on his face and he runs his hand through his hair. 

"Wow," I breathe out and I realise that I'm smiling too. Estella smiles back and then she turns to Scott. He better say something before Estella loses her patience. 

"You look… amazing," Scott says and then he takes a few steps towards Estella and put his hands in her face. Yuck. 

"Not in front of me!" I say and I cover my eyes. They laugh at me, tell me to hurry up and not keep my boyfriend waiting and then they leave together. I hear them talking to my mom and Spencer in the living room and then the front door opens and closes and I know that they're gone. 

I text Winston just to make sure we're still on and I'm still picking him up at his house in twenty minutes. I should be setting off now. I say bye to my mom and Spencer tells me to have a good time. There's no talk of staying out too late because they already know that I'll probably spend the night at Winn's anyway. 

I drive to Winston's house and we've got this thing figured out now where he drives on most days and I drive on the others so I don't have to pay as much for gas. It seems to work for now. 

The curtain twitches in the living room when I stop in the driveway and Winston doesn't even give me the chance to turn the engine off before he's running out of the door. He's not wearing a tie, a bowtie or even a proper shirt and yet he still manages to look better than me in that suit. His hair is neatly styled with the curls covering almost one side of his face.

"You look really good," he tells me when he gets into the car and then he leans forward and kisses me making my lips swell up. 

"Mhm, you too," I say with his lips still on mine. "So fucking good." 

He pulls away, licks his lips and grins at me. He looks down and then back up to meet my eyes like he's thinking about something. "You know I never thought I'd go to prom," he says and he smiles to himself. "At Hillcrest, it was just guys bringing their girlfriends and I just… I wasn't into it. I was planning to miss out on it altogether for all of high school."

"Good thing you moved to Liberty," I say. Good thing for both of us or I probably wouldn't even be going to college if he hadn't changed schools. 

"Yeah... " he says and then he puts his seatbelt on. "I'm actually kinda nervous," he admits when I reverse out of his driveway. 

"You're gonna be fine. I'll be with you," I tell him and he sighs and sits back in his seat. He asks about Scott and Estella on the way to prom and I ask about Stiles. Stiles is back at his old school and no ones suspecting that he was the one to hijack the screen at the funfair. People were talking about it, they knew it was about me and Winston but no one can prove anything to actually get us in trouble. 

I park next to Scott's rental when we get there and Winston checks his hair out in the side mirror because he can already see that they're taking photos at the entrance. They're not asking for poses, they're just taking photos of people walking inside. 

Once we're past the doors, the corridor is dark and only illuminated with golden LEDs and the lights in the giant hall are the same, it's all giving off this golden expensive vibe and then  _ I'm _ nervous. 

Charlie is the first one to spot us, he hugs Winston tight, tells us that we look good and then asks for a picture. Zach is with him so he gets in the picture too and Winston offers to take it. Once that’s done, we talk about college and the football scholarship Zach got, we're all moving on to do our own thing while Bryce is failing exams and paying his way through life. I'm glad I got away from him. 

Scott and Estella have got a table by themselves and they call us over. It's somewhere at the back with the football team so we can mess about without disturbing anyone else. 

There's not that many people here still so we fool around on our small table, eating the finger food, taking pictures and talking about high school. But then people start arriving at about eight and then the music gets louder, the tables around us get busy and some normal food gets passed around.

"I'd like to dance before you get drunk," Estella tells Scott and he laughs at her and then takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor. 

"Me too," Winston says when they're gone and I groan because I was hoping to dance  _ after _ getting drunk but he's pulling me up to my feet just when some cheesy song starts playing. 

"Please don't make me do this," I plead and he laughs at me. It's too late because he's already dragging me onto the dance floor where Charlie is dancing with Alex. I don't like Alex but I grin at Charlie and then I spin Winston around. 

And he might be clumsy sometimes but he's completely in control, he doesn't lose his balance and spins around before being in my arms again. I don’t really try, I just hold onto his hip and his hand and let him lead because he knows best. And then I regret it when he forces me to dance with him to three songs in a row. 

“My feet hurt,” I groan and I rest my head on his shoulder so he’ll finally take pity on me. Even Charlie’s not dancing anymore and Estella gave Scott a break, only I let my boyfriend boss me about.

“No they don’t,” Winston says and then he spins me around. I try to be difficult and I let my arm go stiff but he forces me to spin and I laugh when he shakes his head at me. “Fine, one more and then you can sit down.”

The song is slow and boring and I manage to distract Winston halfway through by kissing him and he finally lets himself be dragged away from the dance floor. 

“It’s not over yet, we’re going up there again,” he tells me when we sit down with Scott and Estella. Zach and Alex are somewhere by the bar so Charlie and Diego are now sitting with us too.

“Hey, have you guys seen the prom king and queen nominations?” Charlie asks us and then he slides a piece of card across the table to me and Winston. I didn’t really give it much thought but I see what I expected, Justin and Jessica, Scott and Estella… basically any guy who brought his girlfriend.

“Where’s your name?” I ask Charlie after taking a brief glance at the card and then looking up. I don’t know how that would even work depending on which one of his boyfriends would be up there with him.

“I’ll get my chance next year,” Charlie says with a smile and Estella is impatient tapping her nails on the table.

“For God’s sake Monty, look at the last names on the list,” she says and Scott chuckles at her outburst but I do as I’m told because I know better than to disobey my sister.

I look at the bottom of the card, the eighth name and I squint when I see ‘Winston and Monty’ because that can’t be right. I don’t remember signing up for anything. “Did you guys do this?” I ask them,  _ someone _ must have nominated us.

“Not me,” Charlie says.

“Me neither,” Scott adds and then I look past Scott and I notice that Elio is there and he’s smiling at me. He gives me a small wave and I think I know who put our names down on the list.

“Someone has,” Winston says with his eyes still glued on the card. He smiles to himself and then he puts a cross in the box next to our names. “It could be fun.” It could be, it already is. 

“If you guys don’t win then it’s obviously a scam, I’ve put in at least ten votes for you,” Diego says and reaches forward for his drink. They’re not serving us alcohol here but I doubt it’s just coke in that glass. The teachers don’t really care.

“I’ll get us something to drink,” I tell Winston and then I stand up and leave for the bar. Coke is like the only acceptable drink to get and I wait for the guy to pour it into the glass with ice.

“So… You and your boyfriend look cute together,” Elio says when he joins my side. I can already imagine Winston glaring at us from behind but when I turn around, he and Estella are in fits of laughter and he’s not looking my way.

“Thanks,” I say and I smile at Elio. I get my drinks then but I stay where I am. “Did you… The prom thing, was it you?”

Elio grins and then bows his head before shrugging. “Who knows,” he says giving me my answer. “But I’m sure a lot of people agree that your names should be on that list.”

Maybe not everyone but some people. I haven’t exactly been an angel in high school and I know that there are some people I’ve hurt and others who I let Bryce hurt and didn’t do anything to help. I like to think that I’ve matured since then even if I still enjoy drawing on people’s faces with a permanent marker.

“Thanks,” I say simply and Elio gives me a small nod. So I turn to go back to my boyfriend who looks like he’s having the time of his life. I’m glad I get to be a part of this.

***

I blame Scott for this. We wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for Scott. The only thing that was able to take Winston’s mind off of dancing was my hand and you know… I got a bit tipsy and maybe a little touchy.

“No one wants to see you with your hand down your boyfriend’s pants,” Scott said when my hand was only on Winn’s knee so I went off in a huff and Winston went after me.

We may have gone into some empty room, might be some lounge area because there’s a couch and a table but it’s not in use and the lights don’t turn on.

Winston is giggling when I push him onto the couch and he stops kissing me for a second. “Here? Seriously?” he asks with one raised eyebrow and I shut him up by pulling at his hair and getting him to kiss me again. I wouldn’t be so horny if he didn’t look so good.

He kisses me messily in the dark, his hands grasping at my styled hair and I pull away and move down his body while unzipping his trousers. His breathing gets heavy when he realises what I’m doing and he tugs at my hair and pushes my head down.

I know we don’t have much time because there’s no lock on this door and someone will come by looking for us any minute now.

“Fuck, I love you,” he says breathlessly when I pull his trousers and boxers down to his knees. He’s hard, his cock flushed a deep red and I lick from the base to the tip. His grip on my hair tightens and he tries to push my head down.

“If you love me, don’t push my head down,” I say and he laughs but loosens his grip on my hair and places his hands on my shoulders instead. I’ve done this a few times and hopefully gotten better at it. I only do it when I feel like it, when I really want to make him feel good.

I wrap my lips around the head and then lower my head to get as much of him in my mouth as I can. He reminds me why I do this when he groans and his hips twitch upwards. He’s not forceful like I can be, he stays as still as possible because we know what happened the last time he thrust too hard and I gagged. 

I bob my head up and down with my hand jerking him off at the base, he moans and grabs onto my shoulders. He's close to finishing with his hips jerking forward and his legs shaking when I twirl my tongue around the head.

"Monty…" he moans and I twist my wrist repeatedly while sucking on the tip. Then his hands fly to my hair and he holds my head down while he comes. I've got no choice but to swallow and his cock is still in my mouth when the door swings open. 

"You two better be in here, they're- Jesus fucking Christ!" Scotty shouts and he walks right back out and slams the door behind him. Winston lays there speechless and slowly I pull away letting him slip out of my mouth. 

I was hard a minute ago but I'm not anymore, not when all I can think about is how Scott walked in on me with my boyfriend's dick in my mouth. 

"A-are you done yet? You need to get back out there!" Scott shouts while I'm zipping Winston back up. Winston laughs shakily and he rubs at my lips when he sits up to make sure I look decent. 

Scott is bright red in the face when he meets us outside which makes this so much funnier. He looks me up and down and then sighs. "Wow. Yeah, you definitely don't look like you've been sucking dick," Scott comments and then he begins to sort my hair out for me. "Much better."

"So are we going or not?" Winston asks awkwardly not knowing how to react to this. Scott avoids eye contact with him and then he walks back to the hall where the prom is happening. 

"They, uh, they said they're gonna be announcing prom king and queen soon. Or king and king, everyone knows you two are gonna win 'cos Diego and Luke have been using the football team to get everyone to vote for you guys." Scott explains and I chuckle. Wow, gotta love these guys. 

Scott pushes the double doors open with both of us following him and we enter just in time to see Zach and Jessica standing on the stage, on behalf of the football team and the student body because equality or whatever. 

"Are they here anywhere?" Zach asks looking around the hall awkwardly and everyone looks around too until Scott waves over at the stage and Zach spots us. I can already hear someone sharing their theory for where we've been. They're not far off. 

"Get up there!" Scott hisses and he pushes us forwards through the crowd. I'm gonna be honest with you, I hate this. Everyone's staring at us and the only reason why I'm not running out of there is because I've got Winston holding my hand so tightly that he'd probably rip my arm out if I tried to run. 

We finally get to the stage and Jessica gives me this forced smile that I try to ignore. I do my best to focus on Winston and not the hundreds of eyes staring at us. 

"Congrats guys," Zach says with a grin and he reaches down to place the crown on my head but I move out of the way.

"That's for him," I say. If anyone deserves the crown it's him, I can handle wearing a tiara if that means he gets the crown. 

Winston stares at me but he doesn't get to argue as Zach puts the crown on his untidy curls and then Jessica is placing the dainty tiara on my messy hair. "Enjoy," she says and she walks off the stage looking bitter. 

"She's just jealous," Zach whispers to us and then I hear the music start playing in the background and I'm already dreading it. 

Winston holds his hand out and I take it. "Told you you're not getting out of this one," he says and then I roll my eyes and walk him down the steps to the dancefloor where everyone's made space for us. 

The music gets louder, he intertwines our hands together and puts his other hand on my back before resting his head on my shoulder. I'm already sweating seeing everyone looking and smiling at us so I look down as I sway to the music with him. Except this isn't a slow song so I can't just step from foot to foot and get away with it. 

"You seem comfortable, eh?" I ask because I'm mostly doing all the work while he just follows me at the same semi fast pace that we dance around in the small circle. 

"Only because I'm with you," he says and I try to hide my smile because everyone is looking at us. I don't want them to know how soft I've gotten because of him, I still have a reputation to uphold. 

We dance for about a minute maybe less before I stare at Scott and he's the first to take Estella's hand and join us on the dancefloor. Zach and Alex follow and Charlie goes with Diego while Justin and Jessica dance on the far side of the room. 

Winston finally decides to stop being lazy and he picks his head up off my shoulder and dances with me. He seems to have gotten his energy back and then he just messes about, trying to see how many times he can't spin me around in one go and then he makes me pick him up and spin around. Not a good idea while you're drunk. 

We give up eventually after being sweaty tired and feeling slightly nauseous. We say goodbye to our friends and Winston is laughing still and pushing the crown back because it keeps moving and his hair covers his eyes. He looks cute like this. 

"You look cuter in the tiara," he tells me and I didn't even realise I said it out loud but he kisses me on the nose and guides me out of the building to our car. He squeezes my hand, says he'll drive because he doesn't want me to get us both killed. 

"Have I told you I love you yet?" I ask him and I squint at him in the dark. He looks so fucking good and he doesn't even know it half the time. 

"Yes but I don't mind hearing it again," he says shyly as he opens the car door for me. I didn't think I drank that much but I got thirsty after all the dancing so that explains it. 

"I… love… you," I say pausing between each word to kiss his lips. He pushes me away eventually, giggling and telling me to get in the car. He's so cute, I love it when he takes care of me. 

“Love you more,” he says and then we’re in the car, the song is still playing in the distance and I stare out of the window, grinning and releasing how I’ve never been happier than I am right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, sorry if there are any mistakes  
> wonty must have danced to Never Let Me Go and you can't tell me otherwise  
> hope you enjoyed this :)


	19. The Peace and The Chaos

**Chapter Nineteen**

Graduation. Weird to think about, that I’m actually moving out, finishing high school and moving on. Not alone though.

“Hey, we gotta wake up,” I nudge Winston but he just sighs and puts his arms around me. He slept over last night because we decided that would be easier and Estella slept over at Scott’s. You know, less fuss in the morning to pick him up. 

“Just a few more minutes,” Winn says with a smile and he smiles sleepily without opening his eyes. We have to wake up or we'll be late for graduation, at least he's cute when he sleeps. 

Between prom and now, I don't think he's left my side for even a second. And it's not like a codependent thing, we just enjoy each other's company even if neither of us says a word. It’s just nice having him around. 

"Come _on_ ," I say quietly and I brush some hair away from his face. He smiles again and then he gradually opens his eyes. We stay lying next to each other, my fingers in his hair and his lips close to mine. 

"How do you feel about high school being over?" Winston asks sleepily and I know that it’s just a distraction so I’ll let him stay in bed longer. He used to wake up the minute he opened his eyes and now he could easily lay in bed with me all day.

"Relived. Nervous?" I say and Winston laughs at me. He more than anyone knows how much I want high school to be over and done with. I'm eighteen now, legally an adult, I've never had anyone hold my hand and guide me through life but now… it's weird to think that I don't really have anyone controlling my life now. I can do whatever I like. And that's both exciting and terrifying. I don't wanna fuck up at life. 

"Me too," he says simply and we seem to agree on most things now. On the important things at least, Winston still likes to argue about what we're gonna have for lunch. 

After a few more minutes of lying in bed, we're forced to get up or we'll miss graduation and I really just wanna get it over with. 

We’re getting dressed in my room and Winston refuses to put his cap on. "It's fucking up my hair!" he protests and tries to fight me off when I put the cap on his head. He can be so dramatic sometimes. I eventually win when I have him down on the bed with the cap covering his hair.

I thought mom left early for work but when we walk out of my room, her and Spencer are sipping coffee in the kitchen. "What are you doing here?" I ask them and I put my blue cap on the coffee table. Winston sits down on the couch and he took puts his cap on the table next to mine with a grin. Fucker, I’ll get him to wear that cap one way or another.

"Didn't think we'd miss your graduation, did you?" Spencer says and he slides a cup of coffee across the counter towards me. I don't drink coffee because it's disgusting and I grimace at it. "For Winston," Spencer explains further and Winston beams when I pass the cup to him. Someone's been bonding with my family without me around. 

So mom's coming to graduation and Spencer is coming with her, that's decided. I think about my dad, wondering if maybe he'd show up just to see how well I've done for myself even though I'm a fag but I doubt he even remembers that he has kids with the whole bullshit going on in his life right now, he's more worried about going to prison.

I didn't really expect anyone other than Estella to be at my graduation but mom and Spencer are really set on going. "We can take my car," Spencer suggests and the plan was to take my car and then hang out with the guys after graduation so I simply explain that Winston and I will be going in my car. Wouldn't want to upset mom's boyfriend.

"It's too uncomfortable," Winston complains about the cap and the gown _again_ throughout the whole car journey and I really feel like shutting him up. My free hand someone ends up in his lap and I squeeze his knee and tell him to stop fussing. 

We arrive at school and Winn seems to have come to terms with the hat even though he's still frowning. Mom and Spencer leave to find some seats for themselves and Estella but we wait in the parking lot for Scott and my sister. It's Charlie who we come across first, it's not even his graduation but he came here for his friends and boyfriends. 

"You two look good," Charlie compliments us and Winston mumbles something about being uncomfortable.

"Yeah because you wore that dumb fucking suit underneath," I tell him and he rolls his eyes. Out of everyone here he has to be the most extra and wear that expensive suit. I just wore black jeans and a white shirt underneath. And yeah I know it’s not formal like they asked but what are they gonna do, expel me? 

Charlie stays with us until Scott arrives. In a cab. Someone really needs to get this guy a goddamn car because how else is he gonna visit my sister while he's at college? I don't wanna have to be forced to choose between them when they split up. If.

"Graduation," Scott says and he puts one arm around my shoulders and the other around Winston as he squeezes between us. "Really didn't think you'd be graduating," Scott says and he grins at me.

"Fuck off," I say and even though I push him off, we're both laughing. Honestly, I didn't think I'd be graduating either. Thought I’d either drop out or keep repeating years but here we are.

We finally go to the football field where the chairs are set up and we have to sit down in alphabetical order which means Winston is all the way at the back, Scott is in the middle and I'm at the front. At least I won't have anyone distracting me. 

***

I think Winston's favourite part of graduation was losing the cap and gown. Now he walks around in his fancy suit, talking to Spencer, hugging Tyler, stopping by certain tables just to say hello. Look who finally became social. 

I just stay with the guys until their parents want to take pictures of them and then my mom gets the same idea and asks Scott and me to pose for a picture. We do, reluctantly, with both of us grinning wide and Scott's arm on my shoulder again while mine is on his back. Just when I think it's over, Winston and Estella say they wanna be in the picture too so we have to do it all over again. 

Winston stands in front of me, my hands on his hips and my chin on his shoulder. Scott just has his arm around Estella and we're all smiling at my mom's phone camera. 

"Send those to me please," Winston says when it's finally over and then he stays with my mom and Estella. I leave them to it. 

Charlie is talking to Zach and Alex when I go over to them, Zach decides to hug me, telling me he's gonna miss having me around and we don't talk about those times when we fell out because of Bryce, none of it matters. 

Even Alex smiles at me. "Good luck and… look after yourself and Winston," he says and I nod before both of us look away because we're not used to being nice to each other.

Then at some point, Winston and I manage to slip away and we're both exhausted from having to talk to so many people at once. It's so fucking overwhelming especially when you know it'll probably be the last time you're seeing each other. It’s all slowly coming to an end. I have to get away from there before the girls start crying and making everything worse.

We sit on the hood of my car, looking over at the school building and just smiling at nothing, it just feels good to be here. Scott and Estella join us first but Estella leaves with our mom and it's just Scott left, she knows we wanna have some time to ourselves.

Charlie finally joins us and then Winston sighs. He can't come with us, he's got dinner with his parents in a few hours because even though they couldn't attend graduation because they’re away, they're gonna be back later on tonight to congratulate him or something. 

"You sure you don't wanna come with us even for an hour or so?" I ask him placing my hands on his sides. We're only going to Charlie's house, probably getting drunk and playing video games like we used to. 

"I can't," Winston says and he leans in to kiss me. I can already see Scott rolling his eyes and Charlie grinning. "You sure you don't wanna have dinner with my parents?" Winston asks but he already knows what the answer is. 

"I think I'll pass," I say and he laughs quietly. Don't get me wrong, I like his parents (most of the time) but I'd rather just mess about with Scott and Charlie today. 

"Okay... " Winn says and he kisses me again. Scott makes puking sounds behind us so I slide my hands down to Winston's ass and squeeze hard. He laughs and continues to kiss me. 

"Okay, we get it," Scott groans so we finally stop but only because I need to breathe. Winston still has to go with us because he needs a ride home. Scott sits in the front with me, forcing Winston to sit in the back with Charlie and he swears that it's only to avoid getting into a car crash because Winston is too much of a distraction. Something’s up with him.

I don’t ask until we arrive at Winston’s house and he gets out of my car. "I'll text you later," Winn says and he shuts the door. Scott waves him off and then he grins at me the second that Winston is out of sight. 

"Right, what's up with you? Why are you acting so weird?" I ask him. It's like he wanted to get rid of Winston as quickly as possible. 

Even Charlie is interested now as I drive to his house and Scott just shrugs. "He's jealous," Charlie buts in and Scott scowls at him. 

"I'm _not_ ," he says and he rolls his eyes. I'll honestly miss this, I'll miss them both. "I just have some news and as much as I love Winston, I just wanted _you guys_ to know," Scott explains and then he sighs looking at his hands in his lap. My mind immediately goes to Estella, wondering what they're up to now. 

"Okay… here it goes," Scott says nervously and he throws his head back. "So I've been kinda… I thought that maybe I was but I wasn't sure. And obviously, I'm dating Estella so that doesn't change anything but-" He stops and then sighs again. "I think I'm like.. Bisexual? I don't know, I'm not sure but you know. I don't know." He stops before he can start rambling again.

Scott looks down and Charlie puts his hand on Scott's shoulder from the back seat. "You're right, it doesn't change anything," Charlie says and I let him deal with this because that's more like his thing. I'd probably say something stupid and make it worse. "And you don't have to have it all figured out now, you don't have to label yourself," Charlie continues and both Scott and I listen. I’ll never understand how _Charlie_ is the smartest out of us all.

"I know I just… It's just something I've been thinking about for a while and I wanted you guys to know," Scott says and then he glances at me. He's waiting for me to say something and I better not fuck up.

"You're still my best friend, like Charlie said, it doesn't change anything," I say and I shrug. When Scott found out about Winston, he wasn't bothered at all. No one made it into a big deal and it turned out okay. We'll all turn out okay. 

***

It's just like old times with the three of us holed up in Charlie's room, the window wide open, empty beer bottles all around and the PlayStation at full volume so my head is starting to hurt. 

Scott pauses the game, he and Charlie reach for their beers and then I realise something. "We never won state," I say and I sigh. For a second everyone goes silent and then Charlie chuckles. 

"Or the baseball season," he adds and then it somehow becomes funny because all of us laugh. 

"You better win state, you can't let us down," Scott tells Charlie and he promises to try his best but he's too focused on killing some zombies to actually care. Funny how state used to be so important to all of us and now it's just a distant memory. I'd be happier if we had won at least once but whatever, maybe college will be different.

"Swap with me," Scott says and he throws his controller my way. It's his turn to sit out and text. Poor Winn has to talk to his parents about his grades and explain why I'm not there and texting me is his only distraction, he'll have to go without for a few minutes. 

Charlie actually wins against me and it looks like he's improved since last time. When he starts to rub it in my face, I ask him who he’s gonna be playing video games with when Scott and I go to college and that shuts him up. 

"Monty, smile. It's for your boyfriend," Scott says and then a second later he's flashing his phone in my eyes. I hear the click of the photo being taken and I glare at him. 

"You're talking to Winston?" I'm not even gone for ten minutes and he's already texting Scott.

"Yeah, he's really bored," Scott says and then he stops to read a text message and he grins to himself. "He says you should come over soon, the dinner is coming to an end." Scott winks at me and Charlie chuckles quietly as he goes pink in the face. Me coming over doesn't _necessarily_ mean sex. 

"Disgusting," I say to them but I'm slowly picking up my stuff and making sure I have my phone. "We're probably just gonna cuddle anyway," I say to shut them up and it does the opposite. 

"Aww," they both say obnoxiously and I feel my face heating up. 

"Shut up," I mutter and I roll my eyes. I should have kept my mouth shut because now I won’t hear the end of it.

"Aww, Monty's gonna cuddle his boyfriend," Scott continues teasing me and I can't stop the smile from appearing on my face. I like the sound of that. 

"Yeah. And you have fun cuddling Charlie," I say and then I walk out of there leaving them to themselves. 

I drive over to Winston's house again and his parents are in the living room so I say hi to them and talk a little about their flight and graduation before going up the stairs to Winston's room. I find him laying on the bed in the dark with his face hidden by the pillow. 

"Hey," I say and he visibly jumps at the sound of my voice. I take my jacket off and throw it onto his chair. The door closes with a soft click and then we're back to being in the darkness.

"Right, almost forgot you were coming over," Winston says, he pulls his face away from the pillow and then he moves up the bed and lifts the covers for me to get in next to him. 

I lay down, still in my jeans and my shirt but Winston doesn't seem to mind as he lays his head on my chest and pulls me close. "I'm kinda scared," he says when I cup the back of his head and run my fingers through his curls. "College and stuff. I don't wanna mess up," he adds and then he looks up at me and sighs. 

"Did your parents say something?" I ask him because other than being a little nervous about his classes and making friends, he hasn't really worried about college. He shrugs and looks down again so I'm guessing that's a yes. 

"You _won’t_ mess up. But whatever happens, you still have me," I tell him. The whole point of living together is to make sure that we're there for each other. And he'll need me just as much as I'll need him because this is new territory for both of us. 

"Yeah… you'll have enough of me by the end of the week," Winston chuckles quietly and he kisses my chest through the shirt. I think it's too late for that, I could never have enough of him. "Got any plans for tomorrow?" he asks me and then he smiles to himself.

"No…? But I have a feeling you're about to tell me I do," I say and he laughs. 

"Just thought it'd be nice to move into our apartment," he says and I smile in the dark. We’ve already got everything packed up most of our stuff is in boxes, we might as well.

"Yeah? I think so too," I say and he kisses me on the cheek. Winn shuts his eyes and he wraps his arms around me tightly ready to fall asleep and then he frowns.

"Why are you still wearing jeans?" he asks and then he unbuckles my pants himself and pulls them down. His hands rest on my hips for a couple of seconds and he grins at me. I’m already thinking about where this could go when he crushes my fantasy. "Goodnight," he says and he throws my jeans onto the floor. 

"Night," I say and he presses a light kiss to my lips before resting his head on my chest again and falling asleep.

***

We've been moving in for the last three days and we're still not done. Our flight to Spain is in two days so we still have some time but it’s not gonna be enough time to finish at the rate that we’re going.

"This is heavy, y'know?" I say and Winston rolls his eyes and smiles. If only he could decide where he wants it then it would save us a lot of trouble. 

"Hmm," Winston says and Scott strains as he tries to hold up the table. It's the table from Winston's living room, his parents let him have it as well as some other stuff because they said they'd probably be redecorating anyway. 

We spent the whole day screwing and unscrewing tables, cupboards and the bed and we're both sweaty and tired. We just had to carry this all the way up to the apartment and Winston still doesn't know where he wants to put it. 

"That's it, I'm putting it down," Scott says and I have no choice but to walk along with him and place the table in the middle of the living room just next to the sofa. 

"Is Scott complaining again?" Estella shouts from the room next door. She and Charlie are sorting out the kitchen, putting away the plates and cutlery so everything's organised because they know how bad I am at organising shit.

"I'm not!" Scott shouts back and Winston laughs at them. He leaves me and Winn alone to join Estella and Charlie in the kitchen and then Winston sits down on the couch and sighs. "Come sit with me," he says and he moves to the side even though there's more than enough space for me to sit down. I do as he says.

"The table's in the wrong place, huh?" I tease him, he rolls his eyes and nudges me playfully. So far he's been in charge of everything because I want this place to be perfect for him and I don’t really care where we put down a table, it doesn’t make a difference. 

"We'll move it later," he says and then he puts his feet on the couch and lays down to put his head in my lap. It's just been like this recently, just me and him and sometimes our friends are around but mostly it's just me and him. 

It's late, almost five in the evening so we might as well sleep here again, no point driving back home. "You wanna order some food for dinner?" I ask him pushing the hair out of his face. He nods and then raises one eyebrow at me. "Yes, I'll cook for you _someday_ but don't get your hopes up," I say and he chuckles to himself. He's already been nagging me about cooking _and_ he's even proposed taking a cooking class together because he doesn’t wanna live on takeaways. He was kinda mad when I laughed at the idea but now I wish I knew how to cook at least something simple. 

Something breaks in the kitchen and Winston and I both pause to stare towards the door. "Sorry!" Charlie shouts and I just roll my eyes. One less plate or whatever won't make a difference either.

They have to leave shortly after because mom still wants Estella to be home before eight or something like that. I bet she wishes she could give me a curfew too, he's already called me about twenty times just to make sure I was okay and to ask if I needed something. She might not have cared back then but she does now and I’m letting her, I know she just wants to be a good mother.

Winn makes me rearrange the furniture again while we wait for our food. We're new in the area so we have no idea what the takeaways are like around here but we'll work it out. 

We eat on the floor in the living room with plastic forks and straight out of the foil wrapper because neither of us wants to do the dishes and we don't have a dishwasher yet. 

"So what's after Spain?" Winston asks me. We still haven't planned out our whole summer because we don't wanna make plans and then not wanna do them, we’ll just run with whatever happens.

"Er… England maybe?" I say with my mouth full. "We could stay with Benji for a few days." Kinda miss Benji even if I do still talk to him, it would be nice to see him again.

"Sure. Sounds good," Winston says and he types _'England'_ into his notes app. By the end of dinner we have a list of countries and places we wanna visit. Winston is very set on Amsterdam because that's where all the rich kids go and he doesn't wanna miss out. I keep forgetting he grew up with people like that.

I go to throw the forks and wrappers away before Winston stops me and shouts at me to recycle. I suddenly realise that I've never had any house rules at home, my dad just wanted it to be clean or someone would get hurt. I guess I'll just adapt to whatever Winston decides. 

"Anything else?" I ask him after wiping my hands on my jeans. He's stood by the sink, rinsing a glass so I stand behind him and wrap my arms around his middle. He hums quietly as his hands work on cleaning the glass and I move my head so that my nose touches his shoulder. 

"How do you feel about getting some plants?" he asks quietly and then he puts the glass to the side to let it dry. So we're really doing this, making this apartment ours but mostly Winston's. I don't mind. 

"Yes," I say absentmindedly and I start kissing my way up his neck making him start giggling. His skin is hot and I blow against it every time I pull my lips back. 

"And… What about painting the bedroom walls pink?" Winston says, staring down at the sink as his _cheeks_ turn pink and I kiss just below his ear. 

"Of course," I whisper into his ear and I feel him shiver in my arms. He's smiling again as I kiss down his jaw and my grip around him tightens. 

"And we should... " Winston says a little breathlessly and then he throws his head back and closes his eyes when my lips trail down his neck and I leave a hickey somewhere around his jaw.

"Anything," I say and he laughs a little shakily. Might have something to do with my hand moving down and resting just below his belt. I can already feel him getting hard and I take my hand away and I step back. "So do you wanna watch a movie or something?"

He rolls his eyes when I grin at him but he knows we’ll have plenty of time for all that later. The TV isn't set up yet because we have to wait for some guy to come and plug that in or something but at least we have our laptops. 

I let Winston pick again and while he's watching the movie, I'm slowly falling asleep. He keeps running his fingers through my hair, occasionally looking away from the screen to smile at me and everything is good. 

***

We packed our bags last night, the flight is in five hours, there's no rush. The bags are on the couch and the whole place is silent. It's six in the morning and I left him in bed, sleeping. 

We had his parents come over last night, neither of us expected it and they just wanted to see how we were settling in, probably keeping an eye on us to make sure we're not living in filth and food wrappers.

Anyway Winston got stressed again so he didn't really sleep much , I didn't see the point in waking him up. One thing about sleeping with him, he has to touch me in one way or another or he won't fall asleep which means that leaving the bed without waking him up was a chore.

I promised I'd cook for him and I've got plenty of time so I figured I might as well do it now before he starts nagging me about it again. I don’t want him to force me to sign up for cooking class.

French toast. That's the first thing he ever cooked for me so I'm only returning the favour but making them edible too. I love him but his cooking skills aren't the best. 

I'm in the middle of frying the eggs when I hear footsteps. I turn around and Winston is there, squinting in the light and carding his fingers through his messy curls. He's only wearing a grey T-shirt of mine and his boxers. 

"You're cooking," he says sleepily and then he walks over, sees the French toast and he laughs. "Wow. Wonder where you got the idea from."

"This one guy I dated. He was pretty weird," I say and Winston nudges me with his hip as he walks past. He shakes his head and sighs as he takes out some plates from the cupboard and I concentrate on my cooking. 

I know it’s gonna be hectic soon, Winn will start freaking out about forgetting something, I’ll leave my passport somewhere and forget about it, then Winston will start stressing that we haven’t packed enough clothes. And as much as I love the peace, the simple silence as we move around each other in the kitchen and do our thing, it’s the chaos that I love the most. Because I know that no matter what happens, we’ll make it work in the end. It won’t always be easy, but it’ll be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... this is pretty much it :(  
> the next chapter will be a flashforward and it won't be that long  
> im really gonna miss this story and i dont think im ready for it to end yet  
> thank you for reading :)


	20. Him and I

**Chapter Twenty**

We had our whole summer planned out with at least twenty countries to visit, but it was all over the second we came to England and Benji told us about his holiday house in Italy. So from England, we went to Italy and Benji stayed with us for the first week, then he had to go back to work, working for marketing or something because if anyone can sell absolutely anything it's Benji. Now that he's back in England, it's just been us staying here for the past couple of weeks. 

It's our last week here and we both know that we have to go back to the real world where college is a thing soon. 

It's early afternoon which means it's sunnier and hotter than usual. Which means neither of us is wearing a shirt. To put it in simple terms, I can't stop staring at him. 

I'm laying down in the hammock but Winston is on the ground, sitting under the tree with his sunglasses on like he's scared of the sun. He's gotten so tanned these past few weeks and we won't talk about that time he got sunburnt and spent the whole night bitching. Don't worry, I was a good boyfriend and I took care of him. 

"What?" he says sleepily and he crosses his arms behind his head. His arm muscles strain at the sleeves and I smile to myself. He's been working out a bit, with me. He wasn't into it at first, just liked to watch and comment but he doesn't mind joining me once in a while. He's still skinny, just not as boney. 

"You're hot," I say and a wide grin appears on his face immediately. He pauses and then he quickly stands up and walks over to the hammock. It’s slowly swinging from side to side but I stop it to let him get on. 

He first gets on so that his knees are straddling my thighs and his hands are on my chest, but then he lays down and covers my body with his. It's way to hot for this and I'm all sweaty but he doesn't seem to care. "Mhm. You're my best friend," he mumbles with his cheek sticking to my chest.

I scoff. "Are you friend-zoning me?" I remember all those times we tried out the ‘friends’ thing but it never worked out.

He laughs softly and I can feel his chest moving up and down on mine. "No, you idiot," he says, he turns his head and rests his chin on my chest instead so he can look up at me. "You’re my best friend _and_ my boyfriend," he says and then he kisses my chest. He's used to the sweat now, after all the workouts and hot days he's learning to put up with it. Even if he tells me to fuck off when I try to spoon him at night because I'm ‘too warm’ and I make both of us sweat through the bed. 

I just smile and move my hand to play with the hair at the back of his head. No wonder he’s so hot all the time, his hair is so thick that my hand is already starting to sweat.

“Are you growing it out?” I ask him and he rolls his eyes in response. “I’m not judging, I think it’s cute,” I say and then he blushes. He hides his face by crossing his arms on my chest and resting his head on them. 

He lays on top of me for about two minutes and then gets off because he says he’s gonna fry on top of me. However, we end up back on the ground because Winn starts acting stupid, tries to push me out of the hammock, I reach for him and then I land on top of him crushing him completely.

“Get _off_!” he laughs and he tries pushing me away. I roll onto my back and I’m still laughing at him. 

“Dumbass,” I mutter and he grins. I stay on the ground and lay down while he sits cross-legged on my left. The sun is shining taught into my eyes so I have to shield my eyes to be able to see him. 

I pick at some grass and Winston is looking down at me and smiling. His smile only grows when I raise one eyebrow. “This is gonna… sound really stupid but…” He rests his chin on his knee cap and wraps his arms around his legs. “I really love you,” he says and he slightly tilts his head to the side. Then he sighs. “And whenever I think about the future, I think about you.” He pauses and now it’s my turn to grin. “I think we’re gonna get married.”

I think so too.

***

**Five Years Later**

They say high school relationships don't last, you change, find out new things about yourself and become distant. We may have figured out some shit that we didn't know about ourselves but if anything, it brought us closer together. It brought us to this moment.

"Put the kid down, Williams," Benji shouts over to Winn who is holding Benji’s baby in his arms. While Benji and I are trying our best to stay away from the chaos, Winston is going around the tables making conversation with everyone. He rolls his eyes and cuddles the little girl closer. He's always been good with kids, even more now that Benji has decided to bless the world with two copies of himself that are almost as annoying as him. 

Benji shakes his head and then turns to me. "You gotta crush the baby fever before it begins. Thank me later man." He pats my shoulder and I chuckle lightly but the weird feeling in my stomach doesn't disappear. Baby fever. Benji doesn't know the half of it. All Winston's talked about recently is kids. It was subtle at first, baby names with my surname until it turned into actual talks. 

It started during the first year at college but it was just talks that didn't mean anything. Then it became kind of serious and to be honest, I had no idea what I wanted. So I just listened to Winn, what his plans were and slowly, we had shaped a future together with both of our inputs. 

That future may have included us getting married although we never said it _explicitly_ , we said it and then we turned it into a joke because we didn't wanna pressure the other or something. I wanted us to finish college first so that would be out of the way and I proposed to him the day after graduation. 

"Hey, Scott!" Benji shouts and he waves the guy over. Scotty. He turns around and grins at us before walking over, I find myself grinning back. I thought it would be difficult to keep in touch but we managed it just about. 

We sort of stopped talking when he and Estella broke up, the distance was too much for them but they got back together about four months later and everything was back to how it used to be. I think I missed Scott more than Estella did. 

Scott hugs Benji first which proves to be difficult as they're both holding drinks in their hands and they better not spill anything anywhere or I'll get in trouble. I promised Winn's mom that we wouldn't get anything dirty or ruined so she finally gave in and helped us get this hall. It’s like ballroom or something, very expensive. It only gets rented out for certain galas and only a few times a year, the only way we managed to book it was through Winn’s parents calling in a lot of favours. 

The tablecloths are white, the curtains are white but the chairs are light blue and the cutlery is a shiny black colour. My only contribution to this wedding was the black cutlery, I just let Winston and Estella deal with the rest.

Scott then moves onto me and he’s grown since highschool so we’re almost the same height. He hugs me tight, I hug him back and he pulls away before he can get a chance to spill the wine on my light blue suit. Winston would kill me, he picked the suit for me and it wasn’t cheap.

“Fuck, you’re married,” Scott says excitedly and he laughs. It’s still a new concept that takes me a while to wrap my head around. I’ve wanted this for years so it’s not that new but there’s a difference between wanting it and actually doing it. Six years ago I went to a party with Bryce, who knew I’d meet the guy I was going to marry. I stare at the ring on my finger and then I look up and grin at Scott.

“You better not embarrass me with your speech,” I say and I give him a light shove. He smiles to himself and looks away. Knew I shouldn’t have trusted him to be my best man, he’s obviously up to something. 

I wish we could sit down, eat, cut the cake and whatever else. But we’ve been waiting for about half an hours and the cake still isn’t here, no idea what’s going on with that. But it’s all good, the important, most stressful part is over so all I have to focus on is not getting too drunk.

Despite his parents not agreeing, Winston tired Tyler as our photographer. They wanted a professional but Winston wouldn’t give in until they agreed to give the job to Tyler. He’s about the only person from high school that Winston still talks to.

I see Tyler now, he smiles and then he tells us to smile so he can take a photo of me standing with Scott and Benji. 

“Oop, husband incoming,” Benji says after the photo is taken and it takes him and Scott about two seconds to make themselves scarce. And then there’s Winston coming towards me looking annoyed.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him. I put my hand on his back and I stir him away to the side so we can talk in private without being in the way. I look at him and I can’t stop the smile from forming on my lips. He’s the best-looking person here. He was worried about wearing black in case he looked bland or blended in but he looks beautiful.

“Mom says the cake’s stuck in traffic,” he says and sighs. He’s too focused on all the things going wrong. “It’s all a _mess…_ ” See, this is exactly why I wanted a small wedding, we wouldn’t have to worry about all this meaningless bullshit. But I’m not gonna say that to him because there’s no point stressing him out even more. 

“It’s not, look around, everyone’s having fun. No one cares about a stupid cake,” I say and I roll my eyes. Honestly, all those wedding ‘traditions’ have been getting to me ever since I proposed. I don’t understand why there are so many rules to follow but I wasn’t about to start questioning Winn’s mom.

Winston looks around like I tell him to, notices the people laughing, having fun and drinking. No one is missing the cake and I feel him relax. “Okay…” he says uncertainly and his tongue swipes over his bottom lip as his eyes continue to search the room.

“So can we sit down now?” I ask and Winston sighs before nodding. “Oh and one more thing.” I put my hands on the sides of his face, lean down and kiss him. I never usually kiss him with my or his family around but right now it’s a must. I whisper in his ear and tell him that he looks perfect. He smiles at me shyly.

I take a step back and Winston takes my hand and guides me to the big table designated for us. Benji is sat on Winston’s side as he is his best man and Scott is sat on my side. Winston looks tired, I know that he stayed up a lot of nights in a row to make sure this works out so no wonder he’s stressing out about that cake.

I squeeze his hand under the table and he manages a small smile which soon turns into a grin. At least I forced him to sleep last night and the litre of coffee he drank this morning seems to be helping too.

“Alright, I think it’s time for my best man’s speech,” Benji says. I think it’d be nice to finally do something before everyone gets bored waiting for the cake. He stands behind us and puts one hand on my husband’s shoulder and the other one on mine. I’m already scared, planning an escape route in case he says something dumb.

“Hang on a minute, who says you get to go first?” Scott asks and he looks around looking for someone to back him up. Estella just raises her eyebrows at me. She’s sitting next to Scott and I really admire her for putting up with him.

“First come first serve,” Benji says and then he slips away and walks to the front where the dance floor is supposed to be. He walks over to the live band to grab a microphone and now he’s grining. 

The live band’s lead singer waves at me and I wave back. Charlie. I haven’t really kept in touch with him but I decided to send him an invite at the last minute because he’s one of the reasons why Winn and I made it work in the first place. 

Winn’s mom once again wanted us to have classical music and Winston stopped talking to her for a full week. He was more than annoyed, kept saying that it’s _our_ wedding and she can’t decide for us. He made sure that anything I wanted to happen was at least taken into consideration. I love how confident he’s gotten since high school.

“This is gonna be _bad_ ,” Winston says and he leans back in his chair. He keeps holding onto my hand for support and I find myself smiling at him as he nibbles at his lip.

"Could I have everyone's attention please?" Benji says into the microphone with his signature grin already winning everyone over. His girlfriend is sat close by with the twins and Benji sends a small wave their way. "As we wait for the cake to arrive, I’d like everyone to listen to the _best_ best man's speech of all time." 

Scott scoffs on my left side and Winston starts messing around with my fingers, already worrying about what Benji is gonna say. This is why we kept our vows to the minimum, I don't need to write him a poem for him to know how much I love him. 

"When Winston first met Monty, I felt like _I_ was the one dating Monty. Seriously, this guy would call me at two in the morning just to let me know that Monty looked at him in the school hallway." Benji says and everyone's laughs. 

It's funny how I knew that Winston had Benji to vent to about me but I never knew about this, I'm still learning things about him and loving him even more. 

Winston blushes as Benji keeps embarrassing him in a cute way, telling everyone how Winston felt about me before we were even dating and exaggerating every detail. Winston seems embarrassed but everyone else listens fondly.

"And now I look at them," Benji continues gesturing towards us with his hand. "Sitting together… married and you know what? Nothing's changed since day one. They're still as in love as I remember them to be. And I hope that continues to be the case for years and years to come." He pauses and now I glance at Winston and he's smiling shyly. 

"Cheers," Benji adds, grabbing a champagne glass from the nearby table and holding it in the air. Everyone follows and takes a sip of their champagne. 

“That wasn’t so bad,” I say to Winn so Scott can’t hear and throw a fit. He sets his champagne glass and nods.

“Could be worse,” he says and then he tilts his head to the side. “Like he could have told everyone how obsessed I used to be with you,” he says sarcastically and he starts the lip biting again.

“Come on, everyone already knew that,” I say and Winn gives me a light nudge with his elbow but I made him smile

Scott’s and Benji’s rivalry continues and as much as I loved Benji’s speech, I’m hoping that my best friend will have an even better one. 

“Try beating that,” Benji says as he sits back in his seat.

“Easy,” Scott answers and he pulls out a small notebook from his blazer pocket. Someone came prepared. He stops at the front and someone sitting nearby (I don’t know half of the people here, Winn’s mom invited them) passes the microphone to him now. He greets everyone and then he smiles my way. 

“So my best friend got married today,” Scott says and Estella takes my other hand under the table. She squeezes and smiles at me. Through all of this mess going on between Winn and his parents, I had her and Scott keeping me sane and telling me not to worry about it.

“And first of all, I’d like to start off by saying that I’ve known Monty for some time now, a really _really_ long time, but I’ve never seen him care for someone like he has for Winston,” Scott says in a serious voice and I can feel Winston staring at me but I keep my eyes down, focused on the table. 

“And I could stand up here and embarrass him by talking about all those times _he_ was freaking out about Winston,” Scott says and he sends a look Benji’s way, causing everyone to laugh. Including Winston who puts his head on my shoulder now.

“But instead, I just wanna say that they’re perfect together and they make each other happy. What more can you want?” Scott says and he glances down at his notebook and smiles. “I had a whole speech written but I just think… everyone can see for themselves just by looking at them and- And look! The cake is here, just in time.” 

Everyone turns to look at Spencer and one of Winston’s older cousins pushing a trolley with the large cake on top into the room. It’s chocolate with no fondant because we both hate it, we wanted something not too sweet.

Scott doesn’t even end his speech, just passes the mic over to Charlie and then goes to look for a knife to cut the cake. I’m not bothered that food is the reason his speech gets cut short.

Spencer calls us over, says that it’s our job to cut it and a crowd is already forming close by to film it. Tyler is there with his camera, snapping pictures so we have no choice but to go over there. Scott passes me the knife and I cut the cake because Winn says it’s ‘too dangerous’ for both of us to do it. His dad instincts are already kicking in.

The first slice goes on a plate and Spencer passes it to me. Tyler is already waiting with his camera and it feels weird having everyone stares so I try my best to concentrate only on Winston. “Open wide,” I say to him with a grin and as soon as he does, I feed the cake to him with my fingers, purposefully smearing chocolate all around his mouth.

He laughs and does the same to me when it’s his turn. Even though I try to move out of his reach, I end up with a chocolate streak spreading from the lips to my ear.

“Oh, look what you did,” I say pretending to be upset but Winn doesn’t care, he kisses me anyways.

***

“You’re _not_ heavy, I’m just drunk,” I tell him as I try to close the hotel door while carrying him. I’m carrying him because he’s fucked, he only had a few drinks but he’s a lightweight. He’s sobered up a little but he says he can’t even walk and before that he kept saying all this dumb stuff, asking me if I still love him. I’ve answered that question about a million times today. As for me, I’m not _that_ drunk even though Scott got me to drink more than I was planning to. 

I set him down on the bed with a loud groan and Winston bursts out laughing. I turn away to get out of the uncomfortable suit. I hang my jacket up and I undo my tie when I realise that Winston is still laughing. “What’s funny?” I ask him and he laughs even harder.

“I’m not even that drunk,” he tells me and I smile to myself. “I’m _not!_ ” he protests when he catches my reflection in the mirror. “I am a little, but I just wanted you to carry me,” he says and I stop unbuttoning my shirt and I stare at him.

“Seriously?” Of course he did, he loves messing with me and I just fall into his trap. He gives me a goofy grin and then sits up on the bed and tugs at his collar to loosen his tie a little.

“Hey, help me get undressed,” he mutters and he throws his blazer at me. I hang it up on a hanger and I put it back into the garment bag, he’s almost undressed by the time I’m done because it’s really difficult to get the suit back into the bag without crumbling it. I tried my best.

“I have something for you,” Winston tells me and he gets off the bed. Look who can walk without falling now. Actually, he does wobble a bit. He left the rest of the clothes folded on the bed and as you can see, he’s the reason why our house isn’t a tip. I put those clothes away too just in time for Winn to come back with a gift bag. 

“I told you not to buy me anything,” I say and Winston rolls his eyes.

“Just shut up and look inside the bag,” he says and he forces it into my hands so I can’t refuse. I pause and glance back at the chair by the window where my backpack is.

“I actually have something for you too,” I say and I leave the gift bag on the bed. I walk over to my backpack and I unzip it. “Remember when we were packing up the apartment?” I ask and he nods while sitting on the edge of the bed. We’re moving into a bigger house now, closer to where my mom lives. She moved in with Spencer when Estella graduated and it was Winn who suggested that we move closer to them so I can visit them more often. 

I see Spencer as more of a parent than my father ever was. He ended up in prison but never got to serve his full sentence, he got into a fight a couple of years ago and he didn’t make it out alive. My mother and I were the only ones attending the funeral, Estella and the rest of our family refused to come.

“You okay?” Winston asks softly and I realise that I’ve been stood frozen in place for quite some time.

“Yeah, all good,” I say and then I take the gift out from my bag. It’s packed away in a cardboard box with a red ribbon tied around it. “Look what I found while cleaning out the spare room.” I hand him the box, he pulls at the ribbon and takes the lid off to reveal the crown he got at prom.

“You’re kidding,” he says with a grin and then he reaches for the bag on the bed, opens it and shows me a framed picture of us dancing at prom after being crowned. The picture is from a higher angle, both of us are smiling and it looks great. 

“At least our gifts are matching,” I say and I take the photo frame in my hands while Winston tries to position the crown on his head. Some may look at our gifts and wonder what’s so special about prom. Prom was something I wasn’t even planning on going to and yet I went with the most important person in my life. Prom was special to both of us.

“Yeah, you have no idea how hard it was to get that picture,” he says after walking to the mirror to sort his hair out. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen this picture before. “Messaged like half the school just to find out if anyone had a picture of us from prom.”

“Thanks,” I say and I smile at the photo before putting it down on the nightstand on the left side of the bed. I need to make sure I remember to pack it when we leave.

“So are you gonna ask me to dance or what?” Winston asks and when I turn around, he’s just wearing the crown and his boxers. And a song is playing in the background.

“Hey… I recognise that song. Why do I recognise it?” I ask and I glance at his phone to see what song is playing. Something called ‘The Good Side’ and it doesn’t ring a bell.

“Remember the Winter Formal?” Winston asks coming closer to wrap his arms around my neck. I’ve got more clothes on than he does, my unbuttoned shirt and the light blue trousers. I cringe a little at the mention of the Winter Formal, it’s not a fresh memory and I haven’t thought about it in a long long time but now that he mentions it-

“That’s the song we danced to,” Winston tells me softly and he pulls me closer. “You told me you loved me then.” He’s focusing on the positives of that day so I guess I should too. 

“Mhm,” I say and then Winn puts his head on my shoulder. The song continues playing and I tighten my grip on him. Every bad memory I may have had, he always replaced it with something better. Now I’ll have something else to think about if I ever hear this song again.

“How do you feel about being married? Being my husband?” Winston asks sleepily.

“Good,” I say and then I kiss his cheek. “It’s nice to know you can’t leave me now,” I tease him and he chuckles quietly.

“Yeah? That’s exactly what I was thinking but about you,” he says and we both know we never even thought about leaving each other anyway. Not everyone gets to find someone who’s willing to put up with them for as long as Winston has. College wasn’t easy, there were arguments but we never got close to breaking up. We always figured it out.

The song goes on and he ends up hugging me, clinging on and breathing into my chest. His crown almost slips off at one point but I managed to grab it just in time and I throw it onto the bed to avoid it falling on the ground.

“So what do you wanna do now?” I ask as the song comes to an end. He doesn’t reply and I rub his back slowly. “Hmm?” After a few seconds, I peel him away from me just to see that he fell asleep while hugging me. On his feet. It’s okay, he deserves the rest, it’s been a busy week. 

I carry him to bed, tuck him in and he opens his eyes when his head rolls to the side. “Sorry, not very exciting for a wedding night,” he apologises and his thumb caresses my cheek when I lay down next to him.

“I think I’ve had enough excitement for now,” I tell him. The wedding and the planning was stressful, all I wanna do now is sleep.

“Yeah? Are we gonna turn into one of those boring couples now?” he teases me and scoots closer. 

“We could never be boring,” I assure him. Sure another couple might prefer to end their wedding day a little differently but after all the chaos, I’m more than happy to just lay in bed with him. It’s not exciting, but it’s what I want.

I pull him closer, he gives me a lazy smile and then kisses my cheek. “Winston and Monty de la Cruz,” he whispers. “Sound right, doesn’t it?” I promised him I’ll give him my last name someday, my dad is probably turning in his grave right now. But he’s not important anymore, I’ll have my own family one day. 

“Sounds very right,” I agree with him. It’s always been right. It’s always been me and him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my opinion this is an ending that they deserved, quiet and peaceful and just focused on them and no one else.  
> swru was the first fanfic i ever wrote, both of these stories meant a lot to me and im greatful for every single person who's read, commented or left kudos on my work. thank you so much for the support :)  
> i hope you enjoyed this story and feel free to check out my other work

**Author's Note:**

> first chapter :)  
> kind of wanted to start off nice and with no problems so here you go


End file.
